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Name: Dana
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How do you disapline with results?
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Name: jocasey | Date: Jul 10th, 2005 1:49 PM
we tell our son what the consequences of his actions will be,we let him know exactly what will happen next time this particular behaviour hapens.and then we stick to it.consistancy is the key with adhd children. 

Name: sweettee | Date: Jul 13th, 2005 4:00 AM
i find that nothing works with my son , so i just send him to his room and ignore all the banging, singing , yelling,ect..... i find that he is out of my face so my stress level goes down ,,,,, he has ,,,A.D.H.D ODD and CD i find the less stress i am under the easier it is to cope with his constant, demanding, hyperactivity behaviours and i also find that by ignoring bad behaviour and praising good behaviour has a better impact 

Name: loosing my mind | Date: Jul 16th, 2005 4:27 AM
I have five children, two og them have add one is on meds and they help her the other is on meds and is now showing out more my kids are 1 month old 3 years, 6years, 7years and 9 years.I feel so tired and confused on what to do and how to disapline. 

Name: rivers | Date: Jul 25th, 2005 4:11 PM
It's really hard to discipline your child when they are adhd. they don't understand that what they are doing is wrong and if they do they can't control it. Before my son was diagnosed I tried everything. He was kicked out of 4 preschools for uncontrollable behavior. No form of punishment worked and he was in trouble all the time. Everyone in his life from teachers to family members was mad at him and didn't want to be around him. I finally just stopped and loved him. We cried together and then I took him to the dr. Once he was on medication his behavior drastically improved. I felt horrible that I hadn't taken him to see the dr. sooner. He just thought he was bad and didn't know how to control it. He's not bad. He's wonderful. He's been on Adderall for 3 years. He still gets into trouble but he's just being a kid and testing his limits. Nothing uncontrollable and he understands his punishments and learns. The punishment that we use is we have a stool that's up against the wall. We set the timer for 10 mins and if he cries we add 5. This has been very effective with him. After the timer goes off he comes and sits down with us and we talk about what happened. 

Name: jbain | Date: Sep 7th, 2005 4:03 PM
i have learned over the years that consistency is the only way to go when disciplining a child with adhd. there are times when it is very difficult to be consistent because children are very smart and learn to work the circumstances in their favor. i try to remember that my adhd child has a problem with impulsiveness and I constantly remind him of consequences for poor behavior in situations that may happen in each setting we are in. 

Name: denise | Date: Sep 8th, 2005 9:32 PM
i give esays he needs to wright esays on all kinds of subjects 


Name: Roxy | Date: Sep 17th, 2005 5:30 AM
I find that doing the 123 technique really works for us...the only thing I need to make sure to always be consistent. 

Name: chris | Date: Sep 22nd, 2005 7:42 PM
I have an 8 year old daughter with adhd. I also find it important to be consistent. In addition, she tends to try to use the adhd for an excuse, and I try not to let her do this. She is really smart, and can be manipulative. 

Name: Ronda | Date: Oct 12th, 2005 3:20 PM
I'm a step parent of a lovely boy with ADHD. He's been getting into trouble at school that is escalating. He is on meds and does well on them. His highs and lows are few. Our concern is his lack of remorse when he gets into trouble (shooting out the windows of a van with a friends bb gun, throwing a rock at a little girl that required stitches, hurting animals etc). Talking does nothing. He gets sent to his room. His mother has told him she will never spank him. We understand that adhd can cause him not to think through to consequenes but we are more concerned now when he doesn't care that he hurts others. Disapline of detention at school, time in his room, writing essays does nothing to phase him. Other suggestion please??? He lives with his mother with 2 other siblings. We don't want him to hurt them or be forced to live with us only because no one else can control him (although we would love for him to live with us). Please write!! 

Name: tired mom | Date: Nov 18th, 2005 11:29 PM
help! our son is acting out.. has had 3 detentions in 2 weeks!!
he is suppose to have a surprise bday aporty tomorrow.. I say tell him about it and resschedule as his behavior improves. Why would I give him a party on Saturday after he received a detention on Monday and had to serve it Monday, and got a new one today!! opinions are welcomed 

Name: helodoky | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 1:25 AM
treat it as a normal kid 

Name: Katy | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 2:46 AM
Read a book titled 1,2,3 It's Magic and stick to it. Really helped us. 

Name: emtf71 | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 4:04 PM
I know what you mean. with my 7yr. old I just put him in his room for punishment. I warn him every five min. not to hit his brother's all the time even when he has't done it yet. I'm constanly reminding him. My 2yr old is copying his behavior and starting to hit like it is a game. My five year old hit's just to defend him self sometimes I wish my five year old would just wack his brother real good so he we learn the 7yr. Some times I just feel like getting a wrestling rink so they can burn of steam instead of wracking my house and they are still young I know I'm in big trouble when they all reach their teen's. Just hope I guide them in the right direction. 

Name: Razyk | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 11:22 PM
Im 25 yrs old and I almost feel like I have no control over my son. My son is 5yrs old, has ADHD, Asbergers syndrom, and I get very. very frustrated sometimes. Granted for the first five years of his life I was in and out of jail and his mother and his grandmother basically picked up most of the slack. His mother and I have recently gotten back together and are trying to make it work. My son is the oldest of four children and the only boy. I do believe that he may have some resentment toward me and if he does I can't say that I blame him. It is so hard starting over. Everything that I do is wrong and even when I do it right it's still wrong! Does anyone know what I'm talking about? 

Name: coca | Date: Mar 25th, 2006 2:52 PM
my son is 13 and says bad words and fihts with his stepfather alot. he doesnt want to do his chores. get in troulde in school what can i do?? 

Name: Suttbo00 | Date: Mar 28th, 2006 6:01 AM
It is true that for most kids, with ADHD I have seen consistency works. However, kids with ADHD get bored with it and then they defy it: well, that's what my son does. I have to keep challenging him: I am trying a behavior modification chart, that uses points for chores, and for behavior. Bad behavior, (three things I can't stand that he needs to change) takes away his points, which results in less allowance. Doing his chores will not be enough to earn his entire alloted allowance. I do this on the weekends, in half our increments right now, and the first week was horrible, but we have since gotten into a pattern. I am able to use this to take to the Doctor. Behavior modification with a therapist or even a book to offer you tips will really help. I can tell you, to spank your child, to threaten your child, does not and will not ever work. I can tell you, that if you say it, YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH OR THEY WILL KNOW IT DID NOT MATTER ENOUGH. 

Name: Keny | Date: Mar 30th, 2006 3:23 PM
I don't have a child with ADHD, but I know that a Mother told me that her 7 year old girl and 8 year old daughter had it real bad. Then she told me that everybody's kid has ADHD. My 7 Year old daughter doesn't. I think she was using ADHD for a poor excuse because she couldn't handle her kids and if she whipped them she would have gotten her kids taken away from her by their Father. She is on a fine age of getting them taking away for being an unfit Mother. But from my understanding, when she told me that everyone's child has ADHD, I told her a belt would be the cure. No offense, but not everyone's child has ADHD. 

Name: j | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 12:16 AM
hello 

Name: jaime | Date: May 11th, 2006 10:10 PM
adhd disapline 

Name: CHERYL | Date: May 19th, 2006 1:16 PM
I HAVE A STEP SON THAT HAS ADHD. LATELY HE HAS BEEN VERBALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME AND LATELY SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY. HIS DAD IS ON THE ROAD ALOT AND I AM THE SOLE DISIPLINARIAN. HE RESENTS THIS. MY HUSBAND IS NOT SUPPORTIVE ONLY TELLING ME THAT I PROVOKE HIM. 

Name: layne | Date: May 19th, 2006 4:41 PM
very difficult, God knows i dont handle it the best either. I cannot let him out of my sight. he's 11. Somethings are getting easier then others are hard. He is easier to reason with now but he takes off . If he ask to go to the library right up the street. he isnt there when i go to check and yes I get after him for it. Soon as i let my guard down he's at it again. It is just constant. Thank god I'm not a dweller. or i would go crazy. 

Name: Lisa | Date: May 20th, 2006 5:30 AM
I wish i knew, having same problem 

Name: S | Date: May 20th, 2006 5:18 PM
Do they get punished at all? What is theire recourse for these actions...Do they get what they want??? Have You seen Nanny 911 or Supper Nanny?
Do not allow the behavior.1st sit down with them tell them what you expect and what the consiquences are write it down for all to see. ..by the way this if for all the kids in the home so get the whole family together for the list making. If.... ( When) bad behavior occures in a firm vioce( not yelling) tell them what you want them to do If by 2nd time they do not comply the go in the nauty chair or room. Make it a room or spot that will do the least damage also :NOT the bed rooms they will just play. The Nanny says one min. for each year the child is ie. 10yrs old 10 min..I think thatis too long for a 10yrs old.. I think 5 min is ok. You will have to keep checking on them and make sure they stay in the nauty place for the time alotted.Then they need to say they are sorry to who every they wronged & mean it! If they do not they stay on that spot untill they do..This is MOST IMPORTANT both parents have to be in on this.The rules can not very form kid to kid esp. for Blended families.
I alsot hink that you should get every one together and tell them how much you all love them and that the rules are made so we all can have a happy life together,
I have 2 step kids14 son Bipolar ( talk about rage...) and 12 yr daughter. We have diffrent rules in this house then they do at the Mothers .We hang your coat up when you come in and brush you teeth every night & no swearing...AT all ya know that kind of thing spell it out.When they do something wrong spell it out too.Say Graet job when they do a good job is important too. Like thank you for not fighting in the car because I know you hate to be punished.Make it about them. Do not say I dont want to punish you. You should not swear becuse Iknow you are smarter& nicer than that.
Trust me I know what out of controll is.I have been knocked down ..Yelled I hate you !#^^$(& at , bronken my great grand mothers plates, and more.Everything is so much better now that we have set rules.I tell them I love them no matter what and your Husband should say the same.Be clear that you do not like the behavior when they act up.
Yes things do happen because they keep testing the limits.Like my step Daughter wearing a skirt so shot when she sit you can see her butt. She cannot wear things like that in this house so she actually asked me to fix ( she is a sweety) it. I added 5 inches to the bottom of it and she loves it. So does the ex ( What a surprise!)
I have also read Dr Phils Family .First. This is time consuming because you have use the a work book (Do not get the DVD you will have to print out a ton of stuff Book Nanny (11 is good too But I like Dr Phil Better.
Also we do not have soda (8 spoonfulls of sugar) or sweets in this house except for special events.Believe me this has helpped too.Esp with the Step son.The main thing I have learned is that the kids need limits.
I hope I have helped some.
May God Grant you Patiens and PEACE. 

Name: shaun | Date: Jun 28th, 2006 5:30 PM
hello shaun 23 m . ihave adhd can not get a g.f. 

Name: Mel | Date: Jul 23rd, 2006 9:54 AM
Rivers,
AMEN! I can very much relate to your story!!
ADDERALL SAVED OUR LIVES!! I have three children all with ADHD...and all three are on Adderall. And you are right...discipline is so much easier now..and they DO learn from their mistakes. And like you said...they are still kids, and STILL make mistakes!! But they are all contollable!
When they werent onmeds and out of control, and I was at my wits end, I did them no good being so stressed andd irritable 24/7. But me AND my children had absloutely no control.......
Now we go on camping trips and hiking trips almost every week. I'ma photographer, and my fiance has adegree in wildlife conservation....we are teaching them to love nature...and they DO! We have the best times together now, and can just spend quality time together, not only learning together, but doing it becasue we want to and it's fun, not forced and unbelievably stressful! (like it was for so many years!)

It'sso nice to hear tht nother family has found the same peace that we have!

Thanks for sharing! 

Name: dragle | Date: Jun 21st, 2007 12:14 AM
hello???????? 

Name: AJohnson | Date: Jul 8th, 2007 1:13 AM
Where did everyone go? 

Name: mar22 | Date: Jul 9th, 2007 2:52 AM
consistancy is key, it takes 9 to 12 months to change a behaviour so never give up on an idea to early the storm always get ten times worse before it will get better. pick one thing you need to change and only do that one thing till the child learns to comply then move on. adhd children do not do well with spanking it only escalates their behaviours, also stay low key monotone never show reaction to bad situation as they look for anything that will get your goat so to speak. always give one warning before you put them in a chair or by a wall to stand for cool down time. they also need to now rulw as to what will happen. ex if they hit they sit, if they arent listening they sit in a chair. that sort of thing they need to know what to expect to happen if they misbehave. good luck 

Name: mar22 | Date: Jul 9th, 2007 2:56 AM
oh i forgat never send the child to the room unless it a last resort, or it can turn into more battles trying to get them to sleep as they portray their room as a bad place. i only use the room if my son has had several chances to rty to calm down and if he hasnt and hes hitting i will tell him he needs to go to his room for alone time till 30 min are up. he their for not getting along with others give him lego to do so he can switch his mind to somthing else and eventaully calms down. just an idea 

Name: mar22 | Date: Jul 9th, 2007 3:02 AM
rhonda, my son went threw similair behaviour and we got a behaviouralist involved that came to the house twice a week and on pager calls when needed this helped out alot. he also attende a social skills camp for the summer this was very effective. there are alot of rsources out there just have to search for them good luck 

Name: Wendy | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 1:54 AM
My son is 5 years old and he has ADHD. He is on medication and it worked for approx. a month and then it stopped working...I have been researching every kind of disorder for my son since he about a year old. My son was running when he was seven months old and has never stopped. He goes into tantrums in which he turns animal like...no one can control him at that point. I am not one of those parents who say they tried everything and nothing works, when really they half ass tried and it was too hard so they just stopped trying. I have really tried everything...I have fought for my son...I have him evolved in so many programs to help him...my problem is at am at a stand still...I am finally lost...I am not sure how to control him...we are a very strict family...we expect alot from our two boys...they know the rules...we are consistent but yet he still acts crazy...
people look at him when he's acting crazy and they think there is something wrong with him...I need alternatives... 

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