| Name: Alanaxx | Date: Aug 20th, 2010 6:28 PM |
| HI i have 2 step children that r 11 and 14 and have lived with me for 9 years i also have 3children of my own. It as been as testing 9years with my step children and still very hard now i never no if im coming or going with them one min they talk to me the next they dont. Its been a lot hard sicne there mum started to do more for them and be there more which as only been the last year b4 then she was never really there so now all she says to them is that they need there mum which i will say they have need her for the last 9year not now that all the hard work as been done so now thing are harder then ever. The older one can say some really hurtfully thing like she done not need me and dose no want me and on. I do understand why she is say and doing the thing she doing she dose not want to lose her mum again and she think if she is seen wanting me or caring in any way for me her mum mite trun her away again so i so on that side i do understand. I always tell her that no matter what i will alway be there for her all she as to do is ask and ill be here in a shot like i alway have been. I just hope one day she will see that i love her with all my heat and that i was just caring for her in a way that mums do and i love her as my own. ↑ |
| Name: 1momof4patj | Date: Aug 22nd, 2010 11:14 PM |
| Hi. I am the Bio-Mom of a boy (12) & girl (8) and the Step-Mom of two boys (11 & 6). The youngest is not biologically and is multi ethnic my husband's but was born during his marriage to his ex and being the man he is, cares for him just like he was his own. The oldest has severe AD/HD. My biggest issues comes from the ex who does not but her children first. My youngest stepson does not know his biological family because she lies to the kids, and up until he started school she lied about his name. She has a different man in and out of the house constantly. She has not consistant schedule for my oldest step son that is vital to his success in school. She uses video games (even mature games with violence) as a babysitter. She speaks negatively about me to the boys because we have rules about eating, video games and bedtimes. I do not know how to make things better. The boys love their MOM and believe her. They hold on to any attention they get from her even if it's bad. ↑ |
| Name: Vanessa | Date: Oct 13th, 2010 3:05 PM |
I am a few months into my second marriage. We have three children together...boys all under the age of 10. Two are mine, one his. I have serious issues with his mother overindulging his son. It is difficult enough to adapt to someone that doesn't look at my children equally in this relationship, but to constantly give my stepson EVERYTHING he wants is making it difficult to be around him. He cries if he doesn't immediately get his way, his tone is ugly and he is bossy toward my children. Worse still is that some of the struggles my husband has had in his adult life are clearly the result of having an overindulged childhood - yet he continues to let his son spend excessive amounts of time with his mother. I basically feel as though I'm being asked to help raise this child but have no say into how he is parented, at the expense of presenting double standards to my children.
EVERY time my stepson's grandmother has him (which is at least two or three times a week after school), its a new toy, candy, etc. He often brags to my children who only receive these types of things on special occasions (there dad and I have the same ideas on parenting). Most recently my stepson was given a nearly $400 toy because he wanted it. My son's birthday was a week prior and he received something not nearly as expensive from my husband and I and my mother-in-law I suspect was a little upset that her grandson wanted it. So her response is to buy him something bigger/better that he in turn as a toddler brags to my children about getting and them states he will not share with them - and for the record on my son's birthday we made him let his step brother have a turn on HIS new toy.
I feel as though we will never be able to do anything "special" for my stepson because his grandmother is so over the top, my boys will ultimately feel slighted because they are treated differently by her while my family (my parents, brother) bends over backwards to treat my stepchild equally.
I am already building resentment toward my mother-in-law for doing this, I am angry with my husband for letting it continue - he could make other arrangements for childcare, but will not stand up to his mother, and the child is becoming increasingly difficult to be around with a terrible attitude at such a young age.
I don't know what to do, but feel like if something doesn't change fast, that there could be fatal damage to my marriage. ↑ |
| Name: Dawn | Date: Nov 9th, 2010 10:26 PM |
| I am a step mother of three teenagers. Two girls 13 & 14. And 1 boy 17. And i am afraid that if things do not change in my house I am going to leave. I have a good husband, he just won't correct his kids. They are lazy and do what they want and he doesn't see anything wrong. I love him but I am miserable. ↑ |
| Name: Babygirl0229 | Date: Nov 9th, 2010 10:33 PM |
| I have three stepchildren two teen girls and one teen boy. If things don't chande in my house soon I am thinking of leaving. I have a good husband, he just won't do anything about the kids. They are lazy, mouthy,ect and he doesn't see a problem. I love him, but I can't take much more. ↑ |
| Name: mae | Date: Nov 27th, 2010 7:53 AM |
| i agree. im having a really hard time welcoming and loving my stepson, this has been going on for 2 yrs now. im miserable every time he comes over. i dont know what else to do. my husband and i have a great relationship when his son isnt around. ↑ |
| Name: mae | Date: Nov 27th, 2010 7:55 AM |
| im having a really hard time welcoming and loving my stepson, this has been going on for 2 yrs now. im miserable every time he comes over. i dont know what else to do. my husband and i have a great relationship when his son isnt around. ↑ |
| Name: southerngal724 | Date: Dec 31st, 2010 11:22 PM |
| Ok...So I just need to vent and see what other people think. I am 19 years old and my husband is 34. Yes there is a 14 year difference. I have two step sons that are 13 and 10. My husbands ex wife was the one that called the marriage due to the fact that she was having an affair. During their relationship she was the one that made all of the decisions for the children and ran all over him. She is now married to the man who she had an affair with and the children do not know what really happened. When the divorce papers were wrote up she made it where she had complete control over the kids. Now that me and my husband are married I have tried to help him be able to make his own decisions for his children but it seems like he is always making his decisions based on her and how she will react and it really bothers me because I feel that he should side more with me than her. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? ↑ |
| Name: beth | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 6:35 AM |
| im about to become a step mom to a new born... im tariffed. i have no kids of my own and im young. all i know is from my friends growing up who all hated their stepmothers. will it be better because i will be in this child's life from day one or am i domed to have this child hate me one day. ↑ |
| Name: Fishstuck | Date: Jan 12th, 2011 1:20 PM |
| I am looking for help with an emotionally abusive natural mother that my step daughter doesn't want to go see anymore...i'm so stuck it's mot funny and we have a loooong history of drama ↑ |
| Name: snowball80 | Date: Jan 13th, 2011 9:18 AM |
I think it depends on the family....
I'm a Stepmom to a 16 yr old and a 14 yr old. my husband had them when he was still a teen.
Now we have an 8 month old baby and his sisters ADORE HIM...
The mother of the girls is wonderful to our family, to our baby and to us. The girls live with her, and the youngest always complains she wants to live with us, she loves her dad.
We always Try to respect the "MOTHER PLACE" and their mom respects me as well.
Yes, a couple of times I had corrected the girls for little things, and perhaps they didn't liked it... but my husband talked to me and everything is cool now.
A lot of people find this relationship kinda weird, but even so, she (their mom) never did anything to me...
I pray that everything stays the same.
I think is a matter of RESPECT and LOVE for everyone. ↑ |
| Name: shorty | Date: Mar 1st, 2011 2:17 AM |
| hi im a step mom of two kids for the last three years and they are now 8 and 7 years old ..... im just looking for othere step moms who would be good to talk to and understand what im kinda going through im 24 years old and have no kids of my own ↑ |
| Name: avonne | Date: Mar 1st, 2011 2:24 AM |
| i have two step kids and i have been looking for other step moms to talk with and get advice from ↑ |
| Name: Leanne | Date: Mar 20th, 2011 9:25 PM |
| I have a stepson who I love like he is my own and wish he was mine. I do everything for him that a mother does and love it. The only problem is his mother who does nothing for him and hardly has him. I feel really sorry for him and am really hurt someone can treat a child as she does. I really won't to keep my mouth shut but am finding it hard what do I do? ↑ |
| Name: CoolStepMoM | Date: Apr 16th, 2011 3:32 AM |
| Hi I am a newbie here and stepmom of two. I am looking for other stepmoms to talk and chat with and I am also on facebook. So lets talk and get to know one another. ↑ |
| Name: Grace | Date: May 10th, 2011 2:23 AM |
| I'm not even a stepmom yet and am soooo frustrated! ↑ |
| Name: StepMommyof3 | Date: May 22nd, 2011 3:38 AM |
| Hi, I have been looking for a support group with my situation. My now husband and I began dating 3 years ago... 5 months after we met,his three children's mom (ages 2, 6, and 9) gave them to us, full custody, says she cant handle them anymore... The oldest is now 11... Mom comes in and out of the picture as she sees fit, normally every 6-8 weeks for a few hours.. when she is around, she thinks she is dictator, and she constantly makes promises to them over the phone that she flakes on, leaving us to sweep up the pieces.. Oldest daughter is in counseling.. She and I butt heads constantly, because she does not like that she has rules, chores, etc... I need some help, guidance, something.. I am now 27, no kids of my own, and I am about to lose my mind... The other two have adjusted well, but I just dont know what to do anymore... I was thrown into this with no warning, no preparation.. and to beat it all, I grew up with no mom, so I dont know what the heck I am doing... Someone please help... ↑ |
| Name: bella | Date: Jun 8th, 2011 12:02 AM |
| i am a step mother of 2 kids (4 and 8).. and a mother of 2 on my own(3 and 5)... i love them and i know my hubby thinks i dont cause i get fustrated a bit with my step kids.. maybeim wrong but i just feel like its a lot on me we dont just get them on everyother weekend.. we get his son on mondays and tuesday and he is a handful like my youngest.. but i feel like their moms.. yes moms! they have different mothers..but i feel like they take advantage of my husband .. they try to make him feel guilty by saying they have them all the time and i know its hard we all need a break and he pays his child support wish hurts us pretty much financially but understand its his obligation like itold him its fine if he wants to have them more but what irritates me i come home tires after working everyday 8 hours and he doesnt do anything to spend time with them he just sits on the couch and lets them run like wild kids.. and i feel like i have no me time... i o my chores as the women but he doesnt understand i need a hand and he shouldnt feel guilty bout not being able to pick them up during the week.. after all he has to do his job thats how they get theichild support money without his job he wouldnt be able to provide.. does that make me a bad stepmother? and lately we have had them every weekend... ↑ |
| Name: Nell | Date: Jul 7th, 2011 7:50 AM |
| I am a stepmom! The girls stayd with me for awhile. They wanted to go back to their mother because I was to strict. I don't see why girls need boyfriends while still in school. Now that the are back at there moms house, their grades have gone down and the eldest daughter(15years) has a boyfriend, who spends most of his days and nights there! Is this acceptable or am I just stupid. I would never allow anything like this to happen under my roof! ↑ |
| Name: Alicia | Date: Jul 8th, 2011 5:22 AM |
| I have 3 step-daughters, I've had ful custody of the girs for 6 yrs now ( their mother belongs on Jerry Sprenger) I have given up my hobbies, family, social life and everything that was ME for "the family". I never wanted children. Now I am stuck in a position where Dad is on the road and expects "MOM"... Me, to take care of everything and the Blood Motther dosen't want anything to do with her girls. I am feeling like he married me to be his babysitter. ↑ |
| Name: Abby | Date: Jul 25th, 2011 6:21 AM |
Does this get any good ever!!!!
I'm newly married (7 months) to a divorced with 2 kids and living in his family house :sigh:
His mom is basically taking care of the children but the problem is I cannot stand them I tried to like them but I can't I was actually considering counselling in order to control my feelings and know how to deal with it.
Do you think it could help! ↑ |
| Name: Angry | Date: Aug 5th, 2011 4:52 AM |
| Name: Laura | Date: Aug 15th, 2011 2:24 AM |
| I am so happy to have found this website!!! I am looking for a place to vent as a very frustrated stepmom! I have two step kids, a very nieve husband and a very bitter ex wife who hates me. I'm looking for some help or someone to vent to! Hope u can help! ↑ |
| Name: Laura | Date: Aug 15th, 2011 2:29 AM |
| How do I reply to some of these posts? ↑ |
| Name: Penny | Date: Aug 19th, 2011 6:44 AM |
| 53 - no children but married at 48 to a man with 3. His only son has had a baby - they are in the "poor house" I think, given meals and now he thinks that isn't good enough. His wife (with two kids from two fathers who wouldn't marry her) I feel thinks we owe them a home.................I feel I have no connection with "this mess". ↑ |
| Name: Sullivan5 | Date: Sep 15th, 2011 6:51 AM |
| Nine years ago I found myself marrying my high school sweetheart (15 years after graduation). We have a blended family of seven with four of those being teenage girls (his two are twins-13). I have had problems for many years with his ex wife keeping the girls from us and stirring up conflict every chance she gets. Recently, one of the twins has decided she no longer wants to come for her visitation, and one of them would move here (if her mother hadn't filled her head with courtroom nightmares). This weekend is their brothers birthday, and the ex has now said that neither of them will be coming to see us (tho it is OUR weekend). My husband has allowed this for way too long, letting his ex call the shots and make the rules. I consider these girls to be my own, and am about to go crazy in this situation. I feel as I can no longer talk tohim about my feelings, for it always somehow becomes either me trying to stir things up, or being too emotional because this is "his problem". I should not be upset, because they "aren't mine". HELP ME!!!! I cant be the only one dealing with this! ↓ ↑ |
| Name: jessica | Date: Oct 9th, 2011 4:26 AM |
| Please help....I have been married since July...and am a step mother to 2 children 7 & soon to be nine. I am not looking to replace their mother...btw she stepped out on the marriage and had a 2 year affair with her boss whom she is still with today...her children love her and I get it....but I feel that the way the children treat me is going to wind up with my husband and I getting a divorce. I get "your not my mom"..."i don't have to listen to you" and many nasty things said...I bring them up to my husband and its like "I will talk to them," but it continues to happen...I suggested therapy...the mother says no...both kids are ADHD and the eldest wets his bed...I suggested that they explore medication ( I am a therapist) and she refuses...I am so fed up and feel like I can't do anything right...my life is becoming seriously unmanageable, and I feel that my husband always had their side because "Well she IS their mother"...yeah well, when I pay for their food, tuck them in at night, kiss their boo boos and cheer them on at soccor games I think that a little love and respect is deserved....am I asking too much? If so let me know ...I feel like I am going crazy ↑ |
| Name: dagchild | Date: Oct 10th, 2011 4:52 PM |
| I am not a step mother strictly speaking but i am the legal gardian of my sister in law. when I married my husband I knew that this would intake his baby sister she was 4 at the time and i was pregnant with our twin boys and fresh out of highschool. But as she is now 10 she feels that since I am not her mother even though I am the only female family member in her life. She feels that because my husband is currently working away from home that she has no connection to me and that the only reasion that i am in her life is bacuse years ago i married her big brother. This is affecting my other children. In the past couple of months I feel that I am loosing a connection with her. as she so pluntly puts it to everyone and anyone that will listen. She feels a close connection to her brother (my husband) because he didnt have to take care of her after all his was only just 18 when he started looking after her. and the twins she feels close to because she has grown up with them they also feel like brothers to her but me she says there is no connection becasue it only paperwork that connects us but with my husband and the other children its blood that connects them ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: Oct 11th, 2011 5:08 PM |
| the most sad news i have ever recieved is a step son 16 yrs old emailing me and telling me how he is going to kick my cunt, i counldt beleive my eyes while i was reading, first he wrote to my daughter calling her dumb for no reason and when i asked him why all i got was dont ask me any question u dumb ass i will kick ur cunt.. what do u do with such,, i told my husband and all he said was my son say sorry this is very bad words u using towards my wife .. i just wanna divorce him i can stand it. ↑ |
| Name: anonymous | Date: Oct 17th, 2011 9:14 PM |
| I can't fathom how my husband is more than willing to pay MORE than he is legally obligated to for cs, when the bm is a bum and has never worked!! She takes advantage every chance she gets (ie car rides bc this 30 yo woman has never held a dl and wastes MY gas $$ -- I actually work, I need that $$ to get to work dammit!). She plays these games with my husband and he just complies because "its for his son". Just like these suprise expenses for ss extra curricular activities. He's such a spoiled, bratty child who gets more than taken care of between my husband's cs paying for EVERYTHING and welfare keeping food in his stomach. Fresh new clothes, new toys all the time, and the kid has NO respect for others. Im so over it! I feel like I'm being taken advantage of/playing second fiddle to his "first" family. I am expecting our first child together and the money we could be using to prepare for this baby is being spent on extra curriculars and extra cs payments and I hate to say it but... sometimes I wish I would've never gotten involved with this man. If there are any single ladies out there reading this... stay the HELL away from a man with kids! Im contemplating a divorce sometimes, I just can't handle the drama and the stress anymore. 3 years has just about been long enough... ↑ |
| Name: Donna | Date: Oct 31st, 2011 10:18 PM |
| Jessica, I think since you have not had the response from your husband you need then you need to set ground rules. You should never be disrepected in your own home. It sounds like they need a stable person in there life. Not a wishy-washy parent. I have to play that role in my job a step parent. In the long run My step son knows I'm the stable one and will come to me with an ouchie and walk past his mom. Children need structure. ↑ |
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