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Name: paulapoo377
[ Original Post ]
My son is about to turn 3 we have an appointment for and Eval They think he may be autistic i am hesitant about this appointment ...because i don't think my son is autistic he seems to be normal in everything he just doesnt talk......i am potty training him and it seems to be going well he goes potty for the most part but does has accidents....i just don't want my son to be labled wrongly
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Name: Fran | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 4:02 AM
Paulapoo377, it is important to get a diagnosis so your son can qualify for speech therapy and any other services that he can get. I made the mistake of getting wrapped up in the "label" that my son received (He is 4 and diagnosed with PDD). I finally came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what he is diagnosed with, what matters is that he isn't any different to me than before he got the "label". I know he needs extra help in some areas and that's what I concentrate on. As far as the evaluation and "label", I've filed the paperwork away and don't look at it. Because the "label" doesn't really matter to me only to get the services. And the diagnosis could change down the road possibly anyways. I was a mess after finding out that my son was on the spectrum, but I'm moving forward just like my son is and I'm trying not to dwell on it anymore. Don't make the same mistake I did because it just causes too much grief. Love your son and do what's best for him and don't get wrapped up in the "label". Good luck to you. 

Name: paulapoo377 | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 2:14 PM
thanks for the advice Fran. It is really hard in my house right now with my husband we fight all the time ...he tells me to get this autism thing out of my head that there is nothing wrong with our son it is like he is mad at me for wanting all the help i can get for our son... the school told me to go file for a SS check for him because he can't talk ...I want to do that so I can use the money to put our son in a learning center so he can spend time around other kids .......all the school programs only have kids with severe disabilities adn they can't talk either I just think it is important for him to be around other kids who can talk..............He went through the roof ...said I wasnt getting a retard check on HIS son....I feel i am about to lose it ....i have this little boy that I love so much and i want him to have a normal life......But I feel like i am fighting the devil with a broken sword...getting appointments to do anything takes a long time his eval is not for another 2 months I alrready have the speach therapy with the schoool going he should start that within a week or 2 I know this sounds crazy I just wish I had someone to compare him to so i could judge for myself 

Name: Fran | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 5:09 PM
Hi paulapoo377, my husband was also in denial for a long time even when I knew something wasn't right. He would always say there is nothing wrong with him and he is a boy and sometimes boys are behind in speech and other areas. We fought a lot about it and he didn't want me to pursue speech therapy and other things. I took it upon myself and did it anyways because I didn't want to waste anymore time. It finally took the confirmation of one of his teachers on my suspicion that he might be on the autistic spectrum, to finally get my husband to "wake up". Remember that it is very hard for our husbands to except that there might be something wrong with their little boy. They show their feelings through anger and I know that isn't right but that is how these men deal with it. Maybe when your husband finally hears what is wrong from a professional, things will get better between the 2 of you. My husband and I grew distant over this but we are now getting back on track and in agreement that what is important now is getting all the help for our son now. By the way, my son didn't talk very much before speech therapy and getting him into a special education preschool. He now is making leaps and bounds. His speech therapist is so thrilled with the progress he is making and she sees him being mainstreamed into kindergarten without an aide. I also have him in a regular preschool as well because I too feel it is important for him to be around typical kids as well. He has picked up a lot of language from other kids. Hope this helps and good luck. 

Name: paulapoo377 | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 5:21 PM
thank you so much fran ...your advice has been a god sent
Do you think that your child will get to a point where he is able to live a normal funtioning life as an adult that is my main concern 

Name: Fran | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 7:31 PM
Paulapoo377, I am very optimistic that my child will succeed in life. I want to help both my children be the best they can be and I will be there to help them out. I also have a 2 year old son who is typical. My goals are the same for both of them. I've made it my life's mission to get them ready for the real world and be able to live on their own. It will take extra work with my PDD son but he is smart and he will learn, even if it is a different way of learning. This situation was not what I had expected before I had my first son, but this is what I've got so I'm making the best of it. I'm over my grieving process and now looking at it as a wonderful challenge. I know I will bawl my eyes out as I watch my son walk across the stage at graduation! And I will look back on this and be so glad that I put 200% into it. Also, don't worry about what your son can't do right now, because it will come with time. Focus on what he does do well and keep encouraging him for everything. I feel that these children know their weeknesses and get frustrated. They need to feel lots of support and love from us. I would like to know more about your son...his personality, strengths, weaknesses. It would be nice to compare our boys! Talk to you soon. 

Name: paulapoo377 | Date: Nov 29th, 2006 9:16 PM
fran email me at [email protected] and i will give you a small bio on my little man thanks Paula 


Name: shanak10 | Date: Dec 1st, 2006 1:33 PM
HI Paula,
Please email me at [email protected]. I might be of help to you
Shana 

Name: mtene5 | Date: Dec 2nd, 2006 7:22 AM
I understand not wanting your son labeled but having your son diagnosed can actually be very helpful. You will be eligible for more services and therapies for your child and the more help he gets the greater his chance of overcoming it. I had the same concern and I spoke to the doctor at the eval about it and she told me a diagnoses can always be undone if the child showes improvements down the road. I actually felt relieved when my son was diagnosed with autism because I did not understand why he was behaving so oddly in public and I was often embarrassed when he used to tantrum in public places or scream in public but after he was diagnosed I understood why he was behaving like this and I was no longer embarrassed because I finally knew that it was nothing I was doing wrong. I think when he was diagnosed it actually got rid of a lot of my hopelessness and confusion. When a child is diagnosed with autism they are not saying that the child is dumb, they are saying he/she is different and being different is not a bad thing. I hope you find that after the eval you will actually feel better. I know that waiting for the eval is difficult but having and answer to what is actually going on with your child is actually a quite relieving feeling. 

Name: jacksmom | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 4:02 AM
Jack's Story....

After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew.

Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate.

What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more!

Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com

We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor.

Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) 

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