|
I have a 4 year old son who has a.s.d and a.d.h.d who is very violent towards me.. He is big for his age and unnaturally strong,he often throws temper tantrums when other people don't follow his agenda, he is spiteful to people he doesn't know as well as ones he does, I know this is all part of the a.s.d but he is getting worse and I don't know how much more I can take, he never listens and I spend every waking moment watching him and calming him down,he will behave reasonably at school but at home he just loses it..does anyone have any tips that work for them when they were trying to control their childs rages? Thank you to anyone who takes time to read or reply. ↓
|
|
| Name: katie l | Date: Sep 15th, 2010 11:19 PM |
| Hi, my name is katie and i have a 2 yr old and a 5 year old that both has asd. My 5 yr old sounds alot like your son. They put my son on adhd meds for a while also,and they made the obsessions and anger,and fits worse. we took him off the adhd meds and put him on anxity meds instead. that helped a little. What will help most of all is a visual scedule hanging on the wall just for him with pictures instead of writing...every time you have a transition set the timer for when that will end then a new one to come...when the timer goes off say go check your scedule. you should neaver punish him being over stimulated. like if he is in walmart flipping out,or around alot of people getting to excited because they cant control that,but any hittingor violent behaviors should have time out. i know its hard but you have to be consistant with all of it or it wont work. it has to become part of his routine. does he recive any kind of therapy now? if there is anything else specfic i can help you with just let me know and i can share some things i do with you. just post and i will get back as soon as i can. ↑ |
| Name: ForAbby | Date: Sep 23rd, 2010 7:46 PM |
My step daughter, Abby is almost 3 and is violent as well. Biting, kicking, swatting, throwing toys, etc. She is not on medication, but I am trying to avoid that route as much as possible. So far with Abby, I have been trying different things to get her to calm down. Of course giving her a toy is pointless, she will just throw them. Comfort, that’s a no go as well. She will hit you even if you try to hug her. I am not sure what you have tried, but I can tell you what I have tried. And always keep in mind every child is different. And one thing I have noticed is, well with Abby, something may work for one day, but not the next.
Abby’s favorite show is Veggietales, one day during a tantrum, I walked a bit away from her where I was almost in another room, I started to sing the theme song , but I did it in my own silly way. I changed it up a bit. Used silly voices, sung extra loud and horrible. Danced around a bit. By the time the song was over, I noticed the screaming stop and she was smiling. Then of course I ran over to her, gave her some kisses, tickles and raspberries and she was fine.
Abby is obsessed with movies and TV shows. Most of the time I just put in a favorite DVD and turn the volume down a bit. Once she realizes the TV is on, and she can’t hear it because she is screaming, she quiets down a bit.
And this one worked earlier today, never tried it but I was sleepy and just worn out. Early morning keep in mind. Tantrum time! Yay… lol. She was in my bedroom, throwing a tantrum, so I picked her up and was taking her into her room since Daddy was sleeping. In our hallway is a big mirror. I stood in front of the mirror and every time she opened her mouth to scream, I would too. But I didn’t scream or make a sound. I just opened my mouth wide and made a weird face. She was looking at me in the mirror, and thought it was funny. She screamed again, I did it again. Screamed again, but with a little giggle in it, and I did it again. Screamed again, did it again, then the full on giggles came.
But always try something new and exciting, even during a tantrum. Mom is a perfect tool to get a child to smile. Be different, silly and loving. Act unusual. Hopefully it will get your sons attention. Once you get his attention on your silly “show” then maybe (hopefully) he may forget he was mad. If you can get one smile from him during a tantrum, you should be able to take control of the situation again. And never forget to follow up! After the tantrum, keep him entertained for a bit longer. Once he cheered up, is perfect for tickles, hugs, kisses or whatever your family enjoys doing. ↑ |
| Name: rayofhope | Date: Oct 8th, 2010 2:21 PM |
Totally have been there! Middle son at the age of 4 would be violent towards his younger sibling. (11 years ago) He would also have his wonderful moments. Bewildered and trying to find out why, what to do and put a finger on what was really going on. Pediatrician said, boys will be boys line. I didn't buy it. Nursery school, he was attached to only one friend. There would be days that they had fights (words only) mostly started by my son, mainly by pushing buttons but then they would get along so well later on. School is a much different place than at home, they know how to push buttons parents and siblings, what sets everyone off. Several things you may try (suggested by the Hunterdon ARC program) ROUTINE, they have a set schedule at school, have one at home too, plenty of down time especially after school. Post a printed weekly schedule so they can follow along with you, from what time they get up until they go to bed. Every evening, find a game to play together, switch with siblings / adults everyday during the week, including this on the schedule. This may not work for a couple of days eing a new concept, but stick to it! SCHOOL you are their rights advocate find out anything available in your state, contact them and special services in your school. The information is intimidating, and sadly even the staff my be, stick to your guns and follow up and follow through. A special services evaluation is offered thru schools the process may be slow, but it will be worth it. TANTRUMS, forgot that one, let them have it out! as long as they do not hurt themselves, don't cave in, this is another way of pushing buttons. Anger and rage are the easiest of emotions to show, only thru socializing (school, friends, scouts and sports) and even maturity, they be able to talk things out. My trick with my youngest, (pdd-nos-asbergers) get him distracted completely catch them off guard by taking an interest in something they enjoy. Youngest is very anal, read something wrong, spell incorrectly, name a lego character wrong, snaps him right out of what he was stewing about. He was diagnosed at 5, too late for early intervention. Middle son just diagnosed at the age of 15 with asbergers. His rage was compiled with having generalized seizures, hence the anger and having this the only way of handling things. DOCTORS /SPECIALISTS both were brought to neurodevelopemental specialists for evaluation. My youngest was a textbook autism, my middle son testing with a pediatric neurologist was to eliminate the possiblity of seizures. These types of seizures were inheireted and are commonly found in children with asbergers. DIAGNOSIS is a tough barrier, it is heartwrenching, paniced, and truamatic dosage that will bewilder everyone. Friends and family that are distant not seen everyday have the hardest time because they don't know how to deal with the childrens ways. But you have put your finger on what they have, how they can be treated, schooled and take advantage of any special programs the hospital, state, school, offered. Inhome services can be available also not just to help the child, but everyone in the household too. Catholic Charities just popped in my head too, MEDICATIONS its not just the usual Ritalyn anymore, dosages, combinations, patches, XR extended releif, short term (homework pill). Focalin (sp?) concerta, With the good these do, the side effects you need to know also. Appetite supressent, sleeplessness so timing of medication may be crucial also.
HOPE THIS BOOK WORKS! So much you learn. More postings later. Including the lighter side of how that minds works wonders and keeps me laughing. ↑ |
| Name: ferdyk | Date: Oct 9th, 2010 11:24 PM |
| hi I hope this helps, my son is now 24, I htink the get violent because they are unsure of their schedule, He has to follow yiur schedue, I beleive a visual schedule is the key, first this then this but in pictures i started out that way and have not had to use then for years. Also i wrote down evry time he got upset and how i defused it, A bath worked for me, he took lots of baths a day. I beleive if they know what going to happen next they get less frustred. This has worked for lots of familys hope it works for you, If you need more details let me know. Is he verbal or non verbal, My son is non verbal ↑ |
| Name: dolphinlover | Date: Aug 6th, 2011 5:48 PM |
i hav a child the same age and acts the same its just a day to day learning thing for us we hav people coming it to help us deal with it
just look into were ever you live to see if they hav any program to come in and help ↑ |
|
|
