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My son is 4 and recently diagnosed with autism. He has behavior problems but mainly at home. He is pretty reserved when he is at his special classes 3 days a week. At home if he even hears the word no or is given instructions, he loses control. He will trash his room, throw things and even spit at me. Does anyone have any advice for his mother and I. We try to distract him with other things. We are trying VERY hard not to give in and let him do whatever he wants just to avoid a tantrum. I want to treat him as much like a normal child as I can. Any input out there?? ↓
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| Name: kallen | Date: Mar 18th, 2008 3:31 PM |
| I'm looking for advice also for my mother who adopted a boy that we now know is autistic. I do know that giving in does not work either. My mother gives in most of the time and now even trys to bribe him and/or distract him with food/toys/promises of going to the park or to the movies. He still has fits when he doesn't get his way and is becoming more violent when she does try to stand her ground. Don't give up! You are not alone:-) ↑ |
| Name: bethmarie | Date: Mar 18th, 2008 4:19 PM |
hello,i have a 2 and a half year old child who is waiting an autism asessment,and i no how you feel.Beth,no matter how much you say no will just not listen and have major tantrums at everything i dont let her do.
Its so difficult to manage,at times i just pretend i havnt seen her doing what she does,as all i seem to do all day is say "no"and she never listens.
Would like to give some advice,but im struggling too!
Marie x ↑ |
| Name: BlakesMom | Date: Mar 18th, 2008 8:44 PM |
| Hello! I am not sure if my input will help or not.... My son was diagnosed at the young age of 18 months.....he recently turned 3. At the time of diagnosis, he was EXTREMELY self abusive - banging his head and mouth into anything and everything. He was non verbal and had no means to communicate his wants and needs. We began Early Intervention Svcs.... Occup. Therapy, Speech, Behavioral Therapy and Developmental Therapy. We soon realized that his issues revolved around sensory issues..... Simply squeezing his head very hard or squeezing his hands, spinning him very fast in a swing, calmed him tremendously. However, he began to resort to aggressive behaviors.......up to 300x daily. Finally, after trying everything we could think of.....(GF/CG Diet, a strict sensory diet, etc) we tried Risperdol (med). It is not right for every child, but has been a miracle for mine. He is now only aggressive 2-8 times per week. This is not the only thing that has helped.....Consistency when dealing with behaviors plays a MAJOR role (as with any child....not just those with autism). I would be happy to chat more in depth to you or your other respondents if you choose. I am always looking for other parents to collaborate with as NOONE understands what we go through except other parents of children with autism. Hang in there! My email is tcmerten@charter.net Sincerely, Cindy ↑ |
| Name: JBumgardner | Date: Mar 18th, 2008 11:16 PM |
| Thanks for the input. I also feel like all I ever say to him is no, but I also know I have to. I have gotten better at picking my battles though. He is going to mess with the TV. Why? Because he is 4. He is not scared of anything which makes for the occasional near heart attack....thats when I have to say no mostly. I have found that I can end his fits by making him laugh or asking him about something totally unrelated. Not sure how healthy that is but it works most of the time. I know raising my voice only throws gas on the fire. Spanking throws C4 on the fire. I am slowly learning to deal with the fits but what I don't understand is that he doesn't do it at his school or at the daycare. He only does it at home. Does a 4 year old have the ability to restrain his emotions until he gets home in the afternoon because he knows at home its behind closed doors?? I don't know what to make of it. ↑ |
| Name: kat26 | Date: Apr 5th, 2008 1:27 AM |
hi, my son is 3 yrs old and was just diagosed mild to moderate autistic..he too has a really bad temper at times, and it doesnt matter where he is...he will throw a big tandrum.!
i've learned that when my son throws tandrums at home, just leaving him alone in his room helps him calm down faster,(at first he does throw toys in his room, while screaming and throwing a fit) but then he calms himself down....
and thats something his specialist recommended "he needs to learn to calm himself down because you wont always be there to calm him down"
my son also hates the word "no" one thing that really works for him is instead of always saying no, i use the "if and then" his specialist suggested that if i could teach him the meaning of those words things would be better for me and him...and boy was she right!
anyways, good luck with your son... ↑ |
| Name: mi brother | Date: Apr 9th, 2008 1:25 PM |
| first you have to realize that a 4 year old will act that way its just n there blood treat him as if hes at skool wen he does something good reward him wen he doesnt than do not instill in him that he cant have his way and make every experience a learning one also children with austim cant have thing with high fructuose corn syurup make sure limited that out of his diet ↑ |
| Name: ryans mom | Date: Apr 18th, 2008 12:54 AM |
| I wonder what kind of special classes these are he could go to a behvior threapist my son has gone for 3 years and it helped it took a while but it helped. Also we had to take him 5 days a week 2 hours a day and really that was mild. Also if he isen't talking then, that could be the reason for the behavior imagine how frustrating it would be not to be able to say what you wanted to. ↑ |
| Name: jojojohnson | Date: May 10th, 2008 2:49 AM |
| no matter how hard it is,,,dont give in,. they are very smart people...always demand the same behaviour... I went through years of bad tantrums,,,and when I stopped giving in, the behavious stoppedd. ↑ |
| Name: tgreen | Date: May 16th, 2008 12:04 PM |
| Hey, I just wanted to say hang in there. My son is almost 4 and he was diagnosed at 2 with autism, he also has a behavior issue. At 18 months he grabbed my hair from behind and it took 2 adults to get him off he ripped out my hair and I was bleeding from my forehead. With time and therapy he has gotten much better. There is a program called aba (applied behavior analysis) that sometimes help you should be able to find a provider through Internet or your current school case supervisor or developmental specialist pediatrician. ↑ |
| Name: I know | Date: Jun 1st, 2008 2:04 PM |
Hi there I have a great idea but for it to work you have to REALLY perservere!
It's called a visual aid. You get very very simple symbols- not too much colour etc. You could make your own- we did.
You have a piece of card with a cross through it which is no. This isn't as confrontational as saying no and I find that after afew weeks as long as you stick to it they accept it. I found that my son hated the word rather than what it meant and using the card avoided this. I would say instead "NOT THIS TIME" which avoided the stress.
I got very simple pictures and glued velcro on the back on all of the things that he was expected to do e.g a picture of glass= drink. Then I would have a piece of card in the room that we stayed in the most with a strip of velcro on the middle of it and put the pictures in order of what was expected. This way no surprises and less stress.
Then after we did the task put the pictures in a plastic pouch. This way he could also bring the pictures out to communicate his needs without getting frustrated.
We found that this eventually led to our child being much calmer, so all the best and keep faith. It's not easy but sometimes it's worth perservering with. ↑ |
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