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Name: Fran
[ Original Post ]
I am just curious as to how many parents like myself became very depressed after finding out their child was autistic? I got help for myself with a counselor and medication and am now doing great and feel like I can accept this and move forward. I was very ashamed of my depression for awhile, but I guess I shouldn't be. It is a big shock to hear that diagnosis and I guess I just needed some help to sort it all out. I have been on medication for almost 6 months, and now am slowly cutting back the amount I take. Did anyone else take depression medication for awhile and then go off of it? And how did you feel after you went off? Thanks for the feedback!
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Name: ruth | Date: Feb 6th, 2007 7:05 PM
hi fran, i was to depressed after finding out the my son had a problem i didn't get to the point of taking medication for it because i don't believe so much on that, what i can tell you for my own experience that it was ready hard accepting the idea that my son had a problem y i cried a lot to my husband i would close the door in are bedroom and cried for time to time i keep doing the same because i have a lots of dream and they scare me a lot about my son's future, but one thing for sure i learn i have to be strong i have to be pacient and be happy for him, he need me a lot and i need my son too and if he sees me down he can feel it, i go day by day and learn the most you can about autism become familiar with everything it would help you to understand what your child is going through it woul help you to get closer to him or her, you will have a long road ahead because you are going to be fighting for him and his right a lot but be proud to have him/ her in your lifes you and your wife must be very special people because Heavenly Father send you a special little one in your lifes i hope once your are out of the medication you can be ok, and remember you are not alone we have a big group of people here to help you and your wife and to give you support. 

Name: sylvia0366 | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 2:24 AM
Hi Fran, I feel and understand you, as I went thru the same thing 3 times!! It is very hard to accept at the beginning but I did not have time to feel sorry for myself and the great things that I had hope for my kids, I had to get them the help they needed, I don't know if it is because I had my family for support as their dad was and still is in denial (we have also been separated for the past 8 years). Now that you have gotten help for yourself, GET the help for your child. I don't know how old your child is but the sooner the better, it will really help them

I don't know about counselors, but Fran, trust me it helps me alot more to talke to parents that are going thru the same struggles as we are, if you talk to someone, who might not even have kids, they really don't know what we go thru. This website has really helped me alot, I have met a few friends thru here, even if we don't live in the same state. If you need to talk you can email me at [email protected] I will be more than happy to share my experiences, good and bad with you. 

Name: ltl | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 3:44 AM
Hi Fran, I was too depressed and am still depressed. I did not take any meds but am struggling at the moment. Day after day I tell myself to take it day by day, but it's so difficult as each day brings new challenges. I am doing all I can to get him all the help he needs, but feel this big void as I am not sure my needs are met... I had wanted kids for a long time, and now I am not so sure if I want anymore as the risk for having more kids who suffred from autism is 10%. Everyone else seems to take the news well except for me. I don't love my son any less, but admittedly, I am having a hard time with his condition. To get through the day, I have to remind myself that he is my son, and I do love him so much that I don't know what I would do without him.... My emotions ride like a big rollercoaster. Fran, I am sure all parents go through this, and it just takes time for us to adjust and move on with this diagnosis. Goodluck and I hope you will get off the med soon. 

Name: drika | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 7:39 AM
Hi fran, i am glad your'e here, Welcome to our Support system, because we all need support and like you i have now found that i am not alone anymore and that there are people here who really care about you and your autistic children. My first child passed away at 6 months of age due to Cito Megallo Virus, so i went on depression meds until i became pregnant with my son 5 months later. when my son was born my mother passed away 3 days after from liver cancer and then we found out he has Autism, i refused the meds but i have a good relationship with my husband so he has been my "therapist". I had a terrible time on meds but it seems to have worked for you and i am glad that you are cutting them down. I felt great when i went off mine, i could feel again and deal with it !! I had been walking around like a zombie as though i didnt know what was going on around me.. good luck and find help for both your child and yourself to learn about his autism and move forward. we are all here with any questions and problems you might have. 

Name: ruth | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 4:42 PM
hi fran first i'm sorry when i writte before for some reason i thought you were the father, may because i was reading something about a father and i put the two things together without thinking. but it's really nice to have you thanks for the advise i have been thinking to put my 2 years old in pre- school this year but i wasn't sure but like you say it may be good for her to be with others kids beside her brother thanks. 

Name: Mom | Date: Feb 12th, 2007 10:29 PM
I did not, it was a tremendous relief, and a direction for help. But my husband did, as it runs in his family and he felt responsible. I expect as she grows up I will be hit by periods of depression as for she will face many obstacles that I will not be able to help her with as I did in her early years. I am so glad you got help, it is no different than a heart attack, depression is an imbalance brought on by stress and exhaustion, too. Before I had children I did wean myself of depression medication, be sure you do this with a health professional you trust. What helped me most was getting lots of exercise, both yoga and aerobics, and fish oil supplements(they boost serotonin levels I think) I felt a little anxious coming off mine, but there are so many different antidepressants. 


Name: littlemama | Date: Mar 25th, 2007 12:30 PM
hi, i never took meds, but i find myself crying at different times. i feel as though i am not doing enough. we are on a waiting list for help, which just fuels my fire. how old is your child? are you getting help yet? 

Name: virginia | Date: Apr 2nd, 2007 5:53 PM
Hi Fran. When I found out my son was autistic I felt so very angry. I was angry at the whole world. Angry at God even that he had let this happen even though I was a christian. Then I started thinking it must of been something I had done during my pregnancy to cause this. Thought maybe I had eaten something to make this happen. The truth of it is I didn't eat or drink anything to cause this. I didn't smoke or drink alcohol. Then I started feeling angry when I saw mums pregnant and smoking. I felt so low. I'd cry at everything. If I saw a film with a little boy in it paying I'd cry because I wanted my son to be like that. I'm now starting to feel better and am looking for ways to treat his autism. I have just found a DAN doctor and am going to take him there. Doing things to treat and even cure this help my mind. Even if nothing comes of it the hope keeps me going. Hang in there Fran. It really does get better. 

Name: Barb07 | Date: Apr 3rd, 2007 2:29 AM
Hello Virginia, & ALL I am new on this Forum today........ I have a very handsome boy (Kevin) with Autism and I still feel angry , and my son is 8yrs old. When certain milestones come for my son , I really get sad at times....we do allow our selves to cry...I do believe we cry for the things we want him to be able to do . On an occasion, I especially feel like we got the diagnoisis all over again...I try to explain to my family (the closer ones- support system) that its like a smack in the face at times....Especially w/the school system. I sometimes ask GOD...we are truely excepting this gift w/open arms (Our Son w/Autism) ...can't the road be alittle smoother...w/out the road blocks we sometimes have to face. I truely enjoy reading everyones post. Keep smiling ....Its a gift from GOD. 

Name: Jaxie79 | Date: Jun 29th, 2012 8:34 PM
Hi Fran, Thank you for posting this. My son was diagnosed only two weeks ago with Autism. As you know, the process for diagnosing it is long, so when it took me two days to stop crying over everything that even slightly went wrong, my SO asked why I was even upset since I knew what he was being tested for and had been pretty convinced myself about the outcome. No matter how much you expect the news, hearing it is SO hard. I had no idea. I found this thread because I was looking to see if there are others out there like me, who after the diagnosis just slump into a state of depression and hopelessness. I am so ashamed of myself for reacting this way, I always thought I would be the go-get-er mom who was on the ball and was tough as nails. but it turns out, I am pretty much useless with trying to deal with this overwhelming sense of sadness. 

Name: Grandma Karen | Date: Jan 1st, 2013 10:41 PM
Fran
Raising an autistic child that you love very dearly is depressing. An autistic child and a depressed parent is a normal state.
Karen 

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