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Name: Jessica
[ Original Post ]
My husband and I always knew our 3 son was "different" than all the other children. It's hard because my sister has a little boy who is only 3 months older and my son is doing what he was at 1. He can not speak very well. He can says some words and is slowly getting better but he will be 4 very soon and can not put a small sentence together. If you ask him a simple question he doesn't seem to understand and just gives you a blank stare and replies with something that doesn't not apply to the subject. Also, he is not potty trained. He knows how to pee in the toilet but will not go unless I take him in there a do it for him. It's like he doesn't know when he has to. He has a VERY hard time learning the simplest thing. I am out of ideas for disaplining because he doesn't seem to understand. I feel so bad when I have to yell. My husband says that he needs strickter dicipline (formal naval officer) and I disagree. I think it pushes him in the opposite direction. He is such a loving child though. Could this be a mild form of autism or another learning disorder? Any suggestions? The doctor says that every child learns at a different pace (and I agree) but I feel deep down that there is something else going on.

I really could use some opinions PLEASE!!
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Name: lisa | Date: Nov 4th, 2005 3:01 PM
your story sounds alot like mine. i have a six yr old who is on the autistic spectrum , a PDD- pervasive developmental disorder. sounds like your son is also somewhere on the autisitc spectrum. there alot of good books and some accredited web sites that you can learn alot from. that's how i got started after my suspicions grew stronger. it is important to find out the truth and get your son the help he needs. these children are very special and only certain kinds of disipline work. these children don't always understand a punishment because they don't understand what they have done wrong. my child has PDD and ADD, developmental delays, asthma, mild hearing loss and wears glasses. educate yourself as much as you can and love your child as much as you can. i joined a support group because i have no one other than my mother. my childs father is in serious denial and says "she is just a little slow and will just grow out of it". whatever!!! my child has always been "different" since the day she was born and every yr it just becomes more evident. my daughter is now in a special education kindergarten class with 6 other kids. she has occupational therapy and speech several times a wk. i don't know where you live but in our county, there is help. i put my daughter in an early program at her elementary school to help prepare her for kindergarten. it has helped. i only wish she could go to school yr round because she thrives on the structure. call your pediatrician and ask them where they send kids for autistic testing . it's going probably be a pediatric developmental/neurological specialist. they can diagnose and recommend the appropriate treatment and therapies for your son. educating yourself is first, the more you know and understand about your child's disabilities, the more you can help him. keep listening to your heart, it is telling you the right thing. good luck . lisa 

Name: Angie | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 5:20 PM
I have a 3 year old daughter who has been diagnosed on the spectrum. She has lots of speech, but it is delayed. Especially her receptive language (what she understands). I think you should consider having your son evaluated. Every state has a program through the school system that will assist you. It's a scary diagnosis, but not as scary as not getting your son the treatment he needs. The earlier he starts to receive help, the better. I would stop worrying about potty training for now, and start trying to improve his language and understanding. My daughter is now in a Special Ed preschool program and her language skills are improving immensely. 

Name: lisa | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 10:16 PM
if you really feel something is not right then i would keep on to the medical people because i feel the sooner its picked up the better it is for the child so that they get the help and understanding they deserve. i have a boy and a girl that are six and five they are both autistic. 

Name: Caroline | Date: Jan 5th, 2006 2:11 AM
As parents, when we have a gut feeling that something isn't quite right with our child, we are usually correct...despite what other may say, even doctors. I urge you to have your child evalutated by a developmental pediatrician as soon as possible. Ask your doctor for a referral and don't take no for an answer. If your son is on the autism spectrum, then the sooner he is diagnosed and gets help, the better his outcome will be. As for your husband's idea about discipline.....no way, yelling and being strict won't solve anything with a special needs child. 

Name: Heidi | Date: Jan 5th, 2006 5:49 AM
I think you should take the child to your pediatrician IMMEDIATELY and discuss all of this with him/her. If your child is anywhere on the autism spectrum, then "stricter discipline" is the OPPOSITE of what this child needs...at least not the kind of discipline your husband has in mind. My husband had real difficulty with my 8-year-old son until we found out about the autism...it's easier to manage when you know they can't understand and have a medical professional you trust, say so. Ask the pediatrician to do something with you, about your child, called the "Connor Scale." That is one diagnostic tool that helped us.

Best of luck to you...I certainly am far from having this figured out yet... 

Name: Melinda | Date: Jun 1st, 2006 9:26 AM
No matter what your child is "labeled" right now, get the help. I wouldn't care if they labeled him "Pink" as long as he gets help. Be persistant. Be the parent that DDD (departement of diasbilities) hates beacuse you call 10 times a day. You are a tax payer. Your husband (formal naval officer) has put in his time for our government. What to lose? Help your son. 


Name: nicole | Date: Jun 9th, 2006 3:51 AM
what you described sounds lot like aspergers, which is what my son has. it's a high-functioning type of autism that effects social ability but often increases focus, memory, eductational development and things like that. 

Name: sarah | Date: Jun 28th, 2006 3:47 AM
how do you disipline a 5 yr old boy with autism? so that he will understand? 

Name: sarah | Date: Jun 28th, 2006 3:53 AM
i am new to this and i am trying to get info for my best friend who has a autistic boy about disipline. Can anyone help ? 

Name: La Tasha | Date: Jul 14th, 2006 3:14 AM
Hi Jennifer,
Our son's are the same age and my son too do the same exact things that your son does. I too had a VERY HARD time excepting them saying my son is autistic. He is my first born and my other 3 children do not act this way. But as time goes on I have learn to except what God has given me and I stay positive everyday for him. I dont give him everything he wants. I do make him understand that he can not have everything but I have learned that if he ask for it and I understood I let him have it. That is a break threw for me. I make sure he has "I want ???" what ever it is he has to ask for it. I have to raise my voice on occassions because in my heart I know he knows better and my husband thinks just like yours. But tell your husband like I tell my. Imagine if that was you and you couldnt say or do what you are asked to do and you are getting yelled at. How would that make you feel. I tell my husband put yourself in his shoes and maybe you will understand a little better. l dont know if any of this helps you out. I just was hopin to ease your mind, always remember.............................
GOD GIVES SPECIAL CHILDREN TO SPECIAL CARING PEOPLE! 

Name: La Tasha | Date: Jul 14th, 2006 3:15 AM
Last reply is for Jessica not Jennifer sorry!!!!! 

Name: Laura | Date: Jul 17th, 2006 5:22 AM
I also have a 3 year old little boy and he has been in speech therapy since he was 2. He wouldn't even say mom or dad until he started his therapy. I had to enroll him in our elementary school so he could continue his speech therapy and when I had the meeting with the director there she decided she wanted to have a physcological evaluation done on him. The results were that he was autistic. My son is barely starting to put small sentences together. He doesn't make much eye contact and will not listen to you. You have to grab his attention, have him look at you and then he will listen to you. He talks up a storm to himself but when you ask him what he is saying he goes blank. I also was told to give him time by family members cause boys always learn slower but as his mom I knew their was more to it. I am glad that all the test were done, even though I was not sure at first, so now I can help him become a stronger child. Follow your gut and do what you think will help him. I know I'm glad I did. I hope this helped you a little and good luck. 

Name: spencersmom | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 2:52 PM
I am waiting on a diagnosis for my 3 and 1/2 year old son, we will find out for sure next week, although the clinical psychologist we are seeing told me he is on the autism spectrum. We first knew something was not right when we would say his name and he did not respond (age 2) he also did not speak much and seldom made eye contact.
The BEST thing you can do for your son is to get him help NOW, not next week, not next month, NOW.
In our state we had to have a referral from our pediatrician to get an appt with a clinical psychologist and a developmental pediatrician. We had to wait 3 weeks to see the psychologist and 15 weeks to see the developmental pediatrician. (we are still waiting) So get that referral from your pediatrician NOW, if he/she won't give you one find a doctor that WILL. Don't listen if your pediatrician says lets wait and see or every child learns at a different pace or my personal favorite, boys develop more slowly than girls. Never forget doctors, psychologists, and therapists are on the board of directors, but you are the CEO in charge!
In the meantime I would check out the preschools for special needs kids in your area. (My son goes to a school that has special needs kids and typical(normal) kids)That way your son will be able to get the services he needs. My son currently is getting physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy and it is all paid for. He has improved in all areas. When we first started taking him to physical therapy, he was having uncontrollable tantrums and banging his head on the floor. During the first session the therapist brushed him(with a small plastic brush) on his back, arms,legs, soles of feet and palms of his hands. I kept thinking, this is so idiotic, how is this going to help? Guess what, it did, within about 3 or 4 months he was no longer banging his head on the floor.! With each new therapy that he gets, he keeps improving! I was unable to disipline him until we got him help, now if I say no, he may cry but most of the time he stops whatever he is doing. I also use the naughty chair(got that from the supernanny TV show). My question is how can you disipline a child that doesn't understand why or what he has done wrong? It won't help him at this point. I would also not worry about potty training at this point, it is a symptom of a larger problem.
I say go with your gut, this is your child, no one knows him like you do, no one loves him like you do, if you feel something is not right, it probably isn't. You have to go out there and get him what he needs, he can't do it for himself. PLEASE go and get your son diagnosed, if he is on the Autism Spectrum, this could open up many services and opportunities for him.
Another thing that really helped me was a book called Facing Autism by Lynn M. Hamilton. On page 41 & 42 there is a list of the signs of autism, on page 44 & 45 there is a Checklist for Autism in Toddlers called CHAT. God Bless. 

Name: ????? | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 4:51 PM
Have you had his hearing checked yet? 

Name: mitch | Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 4:21 AM
your son sounds very similar to how my daughter was at three,she's now 10 on autistic spectrum(fairly mild)if your son does have autism more apparant things will raise their heads use your intuition helps to use simple language only few key words try to keep calm,discipline is dificult best advice i ever got was if they are not harming self or others don't worry try to reason with why they might be doing whatever ie my daughter used to cover my friends head with a blanket when she visited not acceptable and very hard to deal with we now realise that she cant cope with lots of people in room at same time talking etc but she leaves room now finds quiet spot ie computer or a bedroom in house.really hard but worth taking a step back and trying to analyse why child is behaving in way they are 

Name: AimTobeMommy | Date: Aug 8th, 2006 2:54 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik
i/Asperger_syndrome

read
this :) I hope it helps 

Name: leah | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 12:49 PM
hi im leah and im a siblin my 6 year old sister is still in nappeys and she dont make a lot of sence then she speaks.my mum took hey to the doctor and they say cause they dont make very good sence cause they learn more words than us but they cant find the word than they go to say.your husband is like my dad and your like my mum you feel really bad than you shout at him cause he dont understand whot hes done. 

Name: Tracy | Date: Aug 9th, 2006 4:22 PM
I also have a 3 yr old. and when he went for his 2yr check up with our family doctor and she realized that he wasnt talking like he should have been she got us into the Birth to Three program in our community. Now i know that your child is to old for that now but what you are describing sounds very much like my son. One of the therapists in his B-3 program, who has worked with autistics, noticed the signs and she got us in to see a neurologist. That doctor gave my son a complete diagnosis and verified that my son was indeed Autistic. So going by what you have said I would have to say that yes your son is Autistic. But I am no doctor. If you want you can contact me at [email protected]
Tracy 

Name: KellyMarie | Date: Aug 10th, 2006 6:38 PM
Hi Jessica,
My son sounds similar to yours, and in fact, I was looking to have the same EXACT question answered for myself. It sounds sort of like your doctor may be putting you off, maybe consider a different doctor? I don't know what kind of social system your state/county has, but I live in Pennsylvania, and we have a system which provides a free evaluation, and free therapy if your child has a delay. It's a low key testing method - done by an organization like Easter Seals. They play games with your child and ask you questions, etc. My son is 2.5, and has a speech delay, and a slight social delay. He currently has speech therapist and a certified teacher who gives us ideas and opportunites to get him involved with other peers, and learn to act age-appropriately. Based on our description of how he acts at home, etc., our pediatrician is sending us to have him tested for autism spectral. It is my understanding that autism can range from very mild to severe, and that treatment for the mild disorders is highly successful. Perhaps you would want to consider having an in-home evaluation done. Hope this helps! 

Name: joni | Date: Sep 2nd, 2006 5:05 AM
i have a 3 year old who is low of the autistic spectrum, and before my son was diagnosed the doctor also told me that all children learn at a different pace, but if you feel there is something wrong then you push your doctor and you tell him you want help, that you want your son to be seen by some specialist like a developmental specialist or anyone else that can diagnose your son with autism, to at least see if he does fall on the spectrum, so at least you can have some idea of what you are dealing with, and if your son does then the speecialist will tell you everyone your son will have to see, and he could start school and get help there in one of there programs. My husband is not in denial but his mother is, and I know how fustrating it can be trying to explain, but I have just given up on it, I know it is harder for you because it is your husband, but just hang in there. And dicipline I really don't have that down pact but I do know that stricter dicipline is not the key, it does push them further away. I am not one to give dicipline advice, I would ask the specialist that you see what to do, they might be able to help. After my son got the proper help he advanced very well, and I was very happy with his progress, his language was poor and, now he can understand language a little better, I understand him alot better, and he can even say a few sentences and before he never said any. It will get easier, when he gets the help your son needs, it wont be so stressfull, if you ever need to talk you can reach me at [email protected] 

Name: jacksmom | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 4:54 AM
Yes... there are mild forms. And thankfully our son is now mild. :) Perhaps there's something in Jack's story that might help you? Ali

Jack's story....

After the 12 mos. vaccines my son gradually slipped into autism. He was head-banging, hand-flapping, twirling, lost speech, lost eye contact and he just withdrew.

Now two years later.... no head-banging, no twirling, no flapping, has eye contact and is starting to verbalize again. And... he has Down Syndrome to boot. :) Yes... even kids with DS get autism. Actually they get it at a higher rate.

What helped him? First I give God praise.... our son wouldn't be here without Him and we prayed and I believe He guided us. Second... supplements. Especially cod liver oil. I recommend Green Pastures CLO with the X factor. Check out Dr. Mary Megson's work on the web. http://www.diet-studies.com/megson.html Our Jack healed gradually... but he is healing. I actually had to make myself GET USED TO him not twirling everything any more!

Also check out Dr. Amy Yasko's work. www.holistichealth.com

We give Jack alot of supps - cod liver oil, probiotic, magnesium citrate, tart cherry and recently we added cilantro. He takes some other things too but each child is unique. It helps to find a good naturopathic MD or chiropractor. Don't use supps until you research things for yourself. Cilantro for example...should possibly not be used until some other detox has been done.

Don't give up. There is hope! And... I will be frank here.... many mainstream doctors know squat about how to heal autism. Don't let that throw you. There are people who do know how to help. God bless you! Love, Jack's Mom :) [email protected] 

Name: Teesha | Date: Apr 24th, 2011 9:56 AM
Hello, I am new to this forum. I need some advice. My in-laws are insisting that my son be tested autism. They feel that he has a mild form of autism. My son just turn 4 years old. They feel something is not right with him because he doesn't like being hugged or kissed by them (which he will sometimes hug or kiss people, but mostly he thinks kisses are yucky right now.) He doesn't say "Hi" or "Bye", "Please" and "thank you". He knows the concept and he knows what he is supposed to say and there are times where he will say it without me saying anything.
He is a little aggressive and that may be because my husband and some of the other male figures that are close to him play rough with him. When people try to give him a hug or kiss he will push them away and say "no" and the other day he slapped my father-in law (not in the face) and he was sitting in his carseat when he pushed his feet in my mother-in-law's face after about 20 minutes of her playing with him trying to get kisses from him.
I checked the CDC website which has a list of milestones for the development of a child and my son has basically hit 95% of those milestones.
Should I have my son tested for autism? 

Name: jenlgeiger | Date: May 8th, 2011 8:21 PM
Hi,

I am not a parent of a child with Autism, but I am a teacher in our district's Autism program. I work with students that are 2nd - 6th grade and the scenario that you have mentioned sounds very much like the development pattern for most of my students. That of course, doesn't mean that he has Autism but if he has enough Autism characteristics he may benefit from certain interventions whether he is actually diagnosed or not. (By the way, how is his motor skills? Does he move as fluidly as his peers?)

Most of the students that are in our program are fully included in the general education setting but they require extra supports to be successful. They are not the 55 - 75% that have mild to severe cognitive disabilities. So it is possible that he is in this category somewhere. Also, students with Autism can be hard to assess so it is not unusual for students to be underestimated cognitively.

I am not an expert, and I don't know your exact situation, but I think that your husband may be wrong about the stricter discipline. I say this because most of the families that my students come from tend to try this first. Typically it is at the suggestion of a family member that believes what the kid needs is more discipline.

I would suggest visual supports. For example, I would develop a visual schedule for your son and try to stick with it. Get pictures of what you will want him to do. Make picture cards of things that you would like for him to choose. For example, breakfast. Give him two choices of preferred items (not too many choices). Make sure to reinforce the visual with verbal and sensory cues. (Cat = show picture, saw word, pet an actual cat, or hear a meow from the computer). The more senses you can involve the more likely he will attach meaning to the word you are trying to teach him.

My suggestion is also, keep your husband close to you. Keep your relationship strong/. Your son will need both of you. Find someone you trust to watch your son and go out on date nights or whatever you like so that he gets attention too. Parents of children with disabilities have higher divorce rates than the national average.

The great news is that early intervention pays off BIG. Find resources right away to help him with verbal, social, and motor development. 

Name: katharine Blick | Date: May 11th, 2011 11:09 PM
Hello. I have a 4 year old girl who is in the process of being either diagnosed (or not) with autism, She is very charming, pleasant, musical, happy and physically normal in things like sleep patterns and potty training. I believe that she is borderline autistic. I cannot have a conversation with her, although she has quite a lot of speech, some of it from films which she can use in the right context. She is obsessed with clothes to the point that everyday getting her to nursery is very difficult because she chooses the most outlandish outfits which I cannot let her wear. Almost everyone that knows her says "she'll be fine, she's just artistic." I have days when I believe this and days when I despair and think that I'm dreaming and I'm going to wake up with a normal child. I can't even trust my instinct because it changes. I don't know whether a diagnosis would be a good thing or a bad thing. 

Name: kal | Date: Feb 28th, 2012 10:51 PM
OK .. i need help with this .. i have a 5 year old boy i believe he is autistic ..he has a vocabulary of over 500 words but only uses one word sentences .. when pushed he will use 2 or 3 poor eye contact knows all the shapes letters numbers in 2 languages does not point .. does not know how to kiss can count to 10 he has done all of that since he was 4 .. he now mimics elaborate motions he can read all the letters and numbers in 2 languages but the main thing is he is overly independent , will not speak unless is is detrimental and only in one word sentences if possible he has had extensive speech therapy for the past 8 months at that time he would not verbalize anything except songs and such .. was bathroom trained at age 3 and a half not a single mistake since has anyone been in a similar scenario with his or her child oh .. he goes to school with a shadow teacher and is following instructions much better his social skills are almost non exestent 

Name: Karina Cadena | Date: Mar 6th, 2012 7:55 PM
Hello Everyone,
I am the mother of an almost 4 year old boy on the spectrum. We received the diagnosis 2 months before his 3rd birthday and it has changed our lives. He is on the very mild side, some may call him borderline. I would include the story but it is way too long. However, our story is on our website if you would like to see what things we were seeing before seeking a diagnosis. I hope it helps. I know what it feels like to reach out to anyone who might have a familiar story.

HTTP://OURJOURNEYWITHAUTISM.COM 

Name: catematthews | Date: Jun 14th, 2012 3:06 AM
Dear parents,

My friends are doing a short survey to better understand the parents with kids with autism. As a parent of an autistic son myself, I've been helping them with outreach and connecting to other parents and was wondering if you would be willing to participate. The link is here:

bit.ly/M0ykAh

Thank you all very much!
Best,
Cate 

Name: diya | Date: Sep 4th, 2012 10:33 PM
Hello everyone,
I'am new to this forum,my 5 year old son has not been diagnosed as yet but doctor says he has symptoms of mild autism.He has been referred to a neurologist in oct,i'am really worried and i thought it would better if i could be friends with moms facing similar problems like me and share our experiences. 

Name: MrsFitz | Date: Sep 8th, 2012 5:21 PM
My doctor kept telling us that we had nothing to worry about, his eating problems were him trying to gain power over us, his anti-social behavior was because I wasn't putting him into daycare or play groups, and his non talking was from lack of interaction with kids his own age (all bull but that's what she thought was going on), it took me over a year to convince her that I wasn't going to allow her to just brush him off and that I wanted him seen by a specialist, in May of this year she finally sent us to a specialist, who thought he was showing many signs of ASD, she referred us to a pediatrician who confirmed what she had thought, and said he was on the higher functioning end but was still on the spectrum and needing speech therapy and an ASD specialist, he turned 3 in June and was diagnosed in July, it's going to take another 6-8 months for the appointment and start therappy, but at least it's started the movement now. My advice is, if you feel that there is something going on with him, don't let them tell you it's normal, demand that they send you to a specialist for a second opinion, even if it's nothing in the end, at least you know it's nothing. I've been told by all involved that the earlier it's caught and the earlier they can start working on it, the better for the child. 

Name: lindaw111 | Date: Oct 1st, 2012 9:51 AM
hi my son is 26 months and since he was born i have noticed he is very different in many ways he is a gorgeous boy always on the go busy busy but the 2 years have been very hard on both him and us he has had reflux and crying alot with pain even now he has grommets after reoccuring infections he has no words maybe two and i just worry i cant bring him many places he prefers to be at home can anyone tell me what definate signs would be that he is in autistic spectrum i have always thought it autism and im ok with that if he does have it but i really need answers as i can help him more if i know he is waiting on speech therapy which i hope will help ,any help i would really appreciate many thanks 

Name: KatieUK | Date: Dec 1st, 2012 11:05 PM
This is how things started with my son. I thought he was a slow learner, then he was just a bit wild with poor concentration, then he was diagnosed with delayed comprehension and it has took until he is 7 for him to be diagnosed and it seems so obvious now and I feel angry that I didn't know this and let him down. PLEASE SEEK HELP. Take care 

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