2 weeks ago the father of my baby had one of his tempers and was physically violent with me. The police came and I went to hospital. The baby got checked and the placenta was still intact and the heart was still beating. I go for my 12 week scan on Monday.
Since then I have moved out of his house into my own house and he has told me that he is not interested in having any contact with the baby. He still contacts me continually - sometimes to be nasty sometimes to be nice. I feel like its a very dangerous roller coaster I am on with him. I am scared that because his family are extremely wealthy that they will get legal assistance and get my baby after he has done this to me.
Short of filing charges and getting a restraining order which I think will inflame the situation and really on the large scale of things it is only good for the short tem, what else can I do to ensure that if he changes his mind that my child is safe?
A week before he did this to me he wrote off his sports car. He got disciplined at work for being slack (he's an engineer) and we had just moved into the house which had just been built. ↓
|
|
| Name: Pam | Date: Aug 27th, 2005 2:36 AM |
Well, first off don't get a restraining order get an order of protection. If the police came to ur house was he arrested? If so or if not they have a report of the situation, get a copy of the report. Second if you went to the doc. get the paperwork from them stating u were there to get examined.
As far as him getting custody of ur child is almost impossible. Women don't lose their kids for the most part and due that he has a violent behavior the judge will see that that's why u need everything showing that there was domestic violence in the home.
Reason i say protective order is cause they last longer and also because he has caused harm to you. And the police department should have that on file. So you should have no problems getting that.
Also when he calls do not speak to him, if u have caller ID ignore his calls. He doesn't have to have contact with your baby. But take it to court and make him pay child support unless he choses to sign away his rights to the baby.
Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: Aug 28th, 2005 6:29 AM |
Wow Pam thank you for all that. I went to hospital and have a report of the injuries I sustained, on that it also states that I am 3 months pregnant. I shall get in touch with the police and track down the report that they made and seek legal advise about that order of protection.
He said that he will pay child cupport, which is why I am concerned about his contact. Mind you in this country (Australia) I dont think it is a choice, the government takes care of it - probably to eliminate all the cases where people where living with their partners and claiming benefits.
Hmm thanks for your support :) ↑ |
| Name: ONI | Date: Sep 22nd, 2005 4:28 PM |
| i SAY DOCUMENT EVERYTHING...YOU CAN'T A CHEAP BUT GOOD RECORDING DEVICE FOR YOUR HOUSE PHONE, SO YOU CAN RECORD ALL OF YOUR CALLS...JUST IN CASE YUO GO TO COURT...I KNOW YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO BECAUSE HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD BUT, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER, AND FILE A POLICE REPORT FOR ANY INCIDENT....AND ALWAYS LET SOME ONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU ARE GOING...IF YOU HAVE TO MEET WITH HIM DO SO AT A PRE ARRANGED AND VERY PUBLIC PLACE....YOU HAVE A CHILD TO WORRY ABOUT NOW. ↑ |
| Name: Amanda | Date: Nov 11th, 2005 8:00 PM |
| i SAY DOCUMENT EVERYTHING...YOU CAN'T A CHEAP BUT GOOD RECORDING DEVICE FOR YOUR HOUSE PHONE, SO YOU CAN RECORD ALL OF YOUR CALLS...JUST IN CASE YUO GO TO COURT...I KNOW YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO BECAUSE HE IS THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD BUT, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER, AND FILE A POLICE REPORT FOR ANY INCIDENT....AND ALWAYS LET SOME ONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU ARE GOING...IF YOU HAVE TO MEET WITH HIM DO SO AT A PRE ARRANGED AND VERY PUBLIC PLACE....YOU HAVE A CHILD TO WORRY about Now. ↑ |
| Name: cynthia | Date: Nov 16th, 2005 6:07 PM |
| yea,.... i am a young person...and i am pregant and i told the father of my baby...which him and i are not together but are together...you understand...he told me that he dont want me to have the baby...but i am not going to kill my child...what do i do i dont want to kill the baby but then i have alot of love for him and i dont want to lose him...and he has a baby in phill and they weere never together and she keptd it but i dont know if he wanted it or what please help thatnk you ↑ |
| Name: tb | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 4:48 PM |
| If he really loved you a baby wouldn't make him think any less of you. If you guys really didn't want children you should have been using protection. I was 17 when i got pregnant and now I'm 25 and I wouldn't trade my son for the world I don't know what I'd do without him. If he's not gonna stand up and be a man then he's not worth it. ↑ |
| Name: soraya | Date: Nov 30th, 2005 6:17 PM |
| im am so happy for you that you and the baby are safe and doing well. Sometimes we are not so lucky and stay in the abusive relationship untill something terrible happens. Please dont make the mistake and take another chance with your life. Your a mom now so you have to pretect your baby or who else will? ↑ |
| Name: cristina | Date: Dec 30th, 2005 6:33 AM |
| do not getting married someone who beaten on you ↑ |
| Name: Amy | Date: Jan 4th, 2006 6:52 PM |
| I was with someone that sounds very similar, just not physically abusive. He threatened me with taking my son away and his family had SOOOO much money... now my son is 9 and they've never seen each other - it's hard to do it all on your own, but its better that way - don't want him acting that way to your child ↑ |
| Name: sara | Date: Jan 5th, 2006 2:47 AM |
| i really do pray for you. i do not support domestic violence. my aunts husband killer her and then killed himself. he tried to to kill the two boys but they got away. just please dont go back no matter what you do. if you are concerned about your baby you need to stay away from that stress. you should try and seek some legal advice before it even gets nasty. if you have the money for an attorney contact your city or chambers and see where you can start to get free assistance. i wish you the best ↑ |
| Name: LATRINA | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 10:39 PM |
| Name: Fiona | Date: Jan 20th, 2006 11:00 PM |
Be careful, because these type of men often change their minds about seeing their children once they're born. They apply to court then use the court orders to continue the abuse and harrassment of the mother.
Do whatever you can to get rid of him, but if he applies to the court after the child is born then they will probably still grant him visitation.
Be aware of this. I sometimes wish that I hadn't had my son due to the stress I've had to put up with from the father taking me to court. ↑ |
| Name: terri | Date: Jan 25th, 2006 10:43 PM |
| where abouts in australia are you from? ↑ |
| Name: Tee | Date: Mar 21st, 2006 1:35 PM |
| I'm sorry to hear this. It isn't anything new to me. I lost 2 babies with my ex. It won't change! The restraining orders don't work! When i found out i was going to have another baby i moved out of the state before i had him. They have no say so on what you do while you are pg like they do after you have them. And if they really don't want anything to do with them when you are near them they really don't when you are out of state. The baby always comes first. Trust me i learned the hard way. He was always going to change ↑ |
| Name: brandy | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 1:35 AM |
| i just had a baby and she was 3 weeks early because her dad bet me up and hit and kicked me as hard as he could it wount get better if you move to a diffrent state befor the baby is born he cant do any thing to you so if you can move then move you can e mail me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: tara | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 7:42 PM |
| yes im pregant and im 4months what do i do ↑ |
| Name: marie | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 10:12 PM |
| Ok firstly, get an order against him as he will do it again and again, i know from experince and when that baby comes into the world it will not get better. If after getting an order to stay away and he goes against it then he can be sent back to court and possible to jail for breeching the order. i know that this is a hard time for you but did you know it can take up to 15 times for a woman to be beaten before she finally reports it to the police, do you want to be in that situation. Think of you and your babies future. Like i said i know this is a hard time for you and a very emotional time but in a few months or even a years time you will look back and see that you made the right choice. Dont fall for his charms they can be nice when they want to but when things dont go their way thats when the hit out. Stay away. ↑ |
| Name: marie | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 10:16 PM |
| one more thing to add, have you spoken to his parents and told them what is going on as if they are anything decent then they will help you as at the end of the day its their grandchild you are carrying. ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: May 2nd, 2006 1:12 PM |
Yes we have the Same name and I am also pregant but only 8 weeks.
I know it sounds hard but you have to be strong for your baby future, if you can stop answering his calls, or having contact with this man it will be the best thing all round. You are the babys mother you have more rights than the father, I know its hard to see right now but things do get better. xxx ↑ |
| Name: Terri | Date: May 5th, 2006 12:14 PM |
The only way to protect yourself and the baby from him both physically and custody wise is to start filing charges and get a restraining order. I had a similar situation and recorded our phone calls so when it came time to press charges for harrassing communications and a restraining order, I had plenty of "evidence" to support my concerns. You do not have to tell him you are recording either. Radio shack sells something that can hook to a small tape recorder.
Be safe. ↑ |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 9:32 PM |
| Hi Sarah! I was at my local police station today. They looked at all the texts that my ex-partner has sent me and are going to use them in court. Theyn are also fitting an alarm system which will tell them immediately if I am in danger. Maybe your case may not be the same as mine! But the police can do alot now. How dare he hit you while you are carrying his child. xx ↑ |
| Name: Sarah | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 9:36 PM |
Just left you a message! If you ever want to chat mail me at ; [email protected]
would be nice to talk to anyone else in my situation!! ↑ |
| Name: JOY | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 6:26 PM |
| i donnot have kids but my best friends does i would have done the same i will not let him see the baby good luck ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jul 10th, 2006 7:07 PM |
No judge in their right mind would give this man a child to look after!
You have done the right thing in leaving him!
Hang in there! ↑ |
| Name: ANTOINETTE | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 3:37 PM |
| ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TRUST IN GOD TO SEE YOU THROUGH. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SIMILAR SITUATION ONLY IT WAS VERBAL ABUSE WHICH I THINK IN MY OPINION IS WORSE HOWEVER I AM STILL HERE AND I KNOW THAT GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH AND MY BABY WILL BE HEALTHY IN EVERY SENSE. REMEMBER EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A REASONS TO MAKE YOU STRONGER AS A WOMAN AND A MOTHER. LOVE ANTOINETTE JAMAICA ↑ |
| Name: sonya | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 12:03 AM |
| how do you know if you pregant ↑ |
| Name: jesse | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 1:04 AM |
| a was in a situation similar to yours. my husband was under a lot of stress about money and his business. we got into fights almost daily. he hit me a few times, bruised my face, arms, threw me on the bed, I was between 4 and 5 months pregnant when this started. he also had a "friend" who influenced him quite a bit. I had just been laid off when I found out i was pregnant and my unemployment would not have supported me and i could not rely on him to help me if i were to move out. i commend you for being able to leave. you must document everything that happens. if you need to get a restraining order, do so, do you have a roommate, someone that can protect you, can you afford a good lawyer. once your child is born, he probably will want to be in the child's life and maybe even yours if you let him. thank god the baby is ok. i had a scare myself one night after a fight, went to the hospital and he wanted to leave me there, said it was a pathetic cry for attention. try to be strong and protect yourself and the baby. ↑ |
| Name: sonya | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 2:24 AM |
| can someone help i want to know what are some sign of been pregant ↑ |
| Name: geneva | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 4:29 PM |
| i just got pregant and the father of my baby is realy mean what do i do ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 4:38 PM |
| It sounds to me like this guy thinks just because he's wealthy and has an arogance to match,he can do anything he wants to whoever he wants and get away with it. I would run as far and fast away from him as possible and cut off all contact with him. If he forgets about you,I'd consider that a blessing! Go and don't look back! ↑ |
| Name: MITCHELLE | Date: Sep 4th, 2006 10:45 AM |
| YOUR BOOBS BEING TENDER AND HURTING, FEELING SICK TO YOUR STOMACH JUST TAKE A PREGANTS TEST. ↑ |
|
|
