Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » 13 year old doesn't want to live with mom!!

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Name: Benji

[ Original Post ]

I have a grandson who wants to live with his father. I am the mother of my grandson's mom. It puts me in a bad place. I agree with my grandson. My daughter has mental issues real bad. My grandson has had to put up with it all his life. He is older now and wants out!! To the point he has ran away and has gotten physical puching walls, cars, windows. The abuse he has suffered over the years, has made his self-esteem very low and he just doesn't care anymore. We all live in Illinois. My question is: Do you know of any case that a 13 year old was able to change of custody in illinois? ↓

Name: Lizzi | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 2:46 PM

At 13 I believe he is old enough to tell the judge who he wants to live with. The boys father could request a custody change. It would be easier for him if you would stand up on your grandsons behalf. Is your daughter getting help for her mental problems? What kind of mental problems does she have? Do whats best for your grandson because he deserves a good ,normal life. Help him get it. ↑

Name: Marlene | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 4:23 PM

most states the age that the child has the choice to whom they want to live with is 12 it is in NC and in VA. ↑

Name: Francine | Date: Oct 16th, 2006 7:04 PM

Get a legal guardian for the 13 year old...have it brought up to the judge on his behalf ↑

Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 17th, 2006 5:27 AM

What do you mean about the mom having mental issues? Has she been diagnosed with such issues? I feel bad for you grandson. Does he still love his mom? Has his mom put physical bruises on him? Or does she just play mental mind games with him? Does he have any sibilings that suffer the same as him? No child should have to suffer this way. This breaks my heart. ↑

Name: Benji | Date: Oct 17th, 2006 7:45 PM

Thanks to everyone for there comments.
tweetybird4,
My daughter was diagnosed w / bi-polar and deep depression.
Does he still love his mom? I do not think so. Has his mom put physical bruises on him? When he was younger and she could get away with it. Or does she just play mental mind games with him? It is more mind games. Such as taking all his stuff and giving it to his brother. Does he have any sibilings that suffer the same as him? His brother does not suffer like him. The brother is a "mom's boy", he is very sneaky and gets his brother in trouble all the time.
At one time I had Grandparent visitation but it was over turned and I never bothered to go to court to get it again. But I am going to hire a lawyer to get it once again. ↑

Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 18th, 2006 2:10 AM

Hi Benji--Are you still able to see your grandson if he's with his father? I take it his mother doesn't allow you to see your grandson? Are you able to see both children together or are you only allowed to see one at a time? I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much trouble. I, too, would hire an attorney to exercise my grandparents rights. Although, trying to prove mental issues is very difficult to do. However, if you are able to, tell your grandson how much you love him and just be his support system that he needs. I'm sure when he gets older, he will probably have nothing to do with his mother and will never want to see her again. I take it, your daughter doesn't communicate with you? Let me guess, she blames you and everyone else for her problems? Would your grandson's mom be willing to allow him to live with his dad and she would still have the other son? Has the father taken her to court for custody of both children? Perhaps both you and the father can get an attorney to help you both win the case? I wish you well and hopefully everything will work out for the best. ↑