Hello, guest
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Name: ihkc555
[ Original Post ]
I could really use some logical input. I am engaged, but my husband-to-be has never been married. He has a daughter with someone who he was not even dating anymore when she told him she was pregnant. He tolerated her instability for the first few months then they split up for good. I didn't come into the picture until his daughter was 3 years old. We hit it off right away. And until then my fiance had never had a serious relationship since his daughter was born, let alone did he introduce her to any women. Her mother on the other hand had already lived with another man, left him, and is currently in the process of moving out with man #2. She is unstable and fake and worthless basically. Anyway - she has never ever ever bought him a father's day card, even before I was around. Well maybe one, but never liked to acknowledge him as a father. So for the last several years I have taken his daughter shopping for his birthday, father's day, and christmas. This has never been an issue. Yesterday I told my soon to be step daughter (we are getting married in 3 months) that we needed to go shopping for father's day soon. She told me that her mom already bought a card for her dad. Mind you, their daughter was not at the store with her, she was not there ASKING to buy a card for her dad or picking it out herself. I was SO mad. I told him about it and his stance was that he doesn't care what she does, that it doesn't matter to him, that she doesn't phase him. I told him that I want him to make it clear to her that she is not to do things like that. It is not her place, she never stepped up and did things like that before, but now that we are getting married she feels the need to do this? It is absolutley unacceptable and I want him to make that clear to her. Not to just smile and say thank you when she hands him a card (he is very non confrontational). I feel that certain things are ok to be passive about but in a situation like this he needs to step up and defend me and our family. I believe she has one of two reasons for doing this. Either she wants him back or she wants to piss me off. He claims that neither of these are true.
I know that my best bet is to not let her know that it pisses me off but I feel that she needs to know this is not her place. I am going to be his wife, she is not his wife and she never was. She was a mistake in his life which resulted in a beautiful child who I adore. Please help me before I go insane.
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