I want to blow up!!! I've been in a custody battle for 3yrs in total...Athough there was a 1yr trail custody...Now the ex and I are both revisiting it...I'm suggesting we remain with joint custody, alternating with one week intervals...The ex is requesting the children remain in a full custody setting with him, allowing me acsess 1 night per week and every second weekend!!!! Is he out of his freaking mind!!!!....Regardless now being the second time around through the wringer...(9mths so far)...I feel weak, like at times giving up!!! Well this is one of those times!!!!!!!
Today the EX mother in law came to pick up the children for her son (my ex was charged with criminal harassment and 2 counts of breach) She relayed the messege that I would not need to pick the children up until [email protected] have a very messed up visitation scheduel I get the children Sun@ 3pm until Wed@ 5pm exclusively then, Thurs 8am-5pm, Fri.8am-5pm I go pick them up at the Ex mother in laws@7pm until Sat.11am.....The next week it's Mon.@8am until Wed.5pm exclusively Thurs.@8am-5pm Fri.8am-5pm then it repeats itself all over again...MESSED UP EH?Because the ex is on holidday's the old bitty told me not to go and pick up the children until Friday @ 7pm....In our court order his lawyer added that he could have the children on holiday's because I had them more, When I discussed these holidays infront of the lawyers they didnt mention misc.days off and his work holidays. The ex is obviously abusing the court order..(I tell ya this next court order I will be going through it with a fine comb).When he'd get pissed at me he'd take days off and keep the kids from me saying "I can do this I'm not at work" and now apparently he's doing this 2morrow...because he's on holidays!! I told his mother that I'd be there 2morrow morning as per norm to pick up my children...I told her she's not to communicate with me because it could result in her son being charged again...We are to only have communication through our lawyers...No third party is allowed....We tried it and it didn't work he just couldn't keep his very vocal ways to himself......
I wish it was all over!!!! This kinds stuff leaves me with a fed up state of mind!!! It's a constant battle to have my children (and the hell they are put through when they come back from visiting my house is another story!!!) How long can this last?????? GEEZZZZZzzz .....2 morrow I'm calling my lawyer first thing in the morning.....thks I really needed to vent!!!! ↓
|
|
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 9:27 PM |
| How old are the kids? I feel sorry for them being treated like ping pong balls! If they will be in school then a better, more stable arrangement must be made with not so much of the back and fourth crap! I hate it when parents are immature and the only thing they care about is "punishing" the other parent to make themselves feel good because it's the poor children who pay the price in the end!!! It's no wonder so many kids' lives are screwed up in this world!!!! Parent's need to GROW UP and look out for what's best for the kids and quit USING the kids as a tool to stick it to the other parent!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Aug 17th, 2006 11:06 PM |
Lizzi...My daughter is soon to be 8yrs old and my son is soon to be 4yrs old......Yes I agree with you. No child should have to be through this kind of mess!! My goal is to have a more stable setting for them and thats why I'm requesting to the judge to have the kids for one week exclusively , although it will be hard to go one week without the kids, I realize it needs to be done.
The judge already made the order that the kids will live with each parent for one week, although it hasn't come into play yet because the courts were waiting on a response from the office of the children(kids lawyer), now that the court was informed that the childrens lawyer do not want to get invovled we have a court date for a pre settlement trial....It's a long process and when one parent doesnt want to agree it's even longer (this being my case)......I can't wait til is over! ↑ |
| Name: trbletrck | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 12:24 AM |
hello I am a divorced father of four. I know that this is mostly women in here but I am going through much of the same. my ex and I have been divorced for about 4 years and about 1 1/2 years ago my ex didn't want our oldest daughter living with her so she moved in with me. she is 15 now but our other kids live with her my 2nd oldest doesn't want to come over to my house unless she needs something and I am very patient for the last 2 years patient. our other 2 were coming over, until recently when my ex found out I was getting married and now all of the sudden I am a bad guy and haven't been allowed to talk to my kids in
a week. she won't answer any calls or text messages. the only thing she will answer is where to send the child support check to. it is hard to not see my kids. our son is the youngest and he just turned 9 and she wouldn't let me see him on his b-day weekend. I guess I wrote this to let you all know that some of us guys are going through this also and it hurts ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 1:43 AM |
| Passing the kids back and fourth one week after the other isn't what I'd call stable! They should be living with one parent all the time and seeing the other one on week-ends only and spring ,x-mas,and summer breaks should be split 50/50! ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Aug 18th, 2006 12:58 PM |
| Lizzi, I'm sorry but I disagree...One week is better than what we've been doing for the last almost three years...yes it would be nice to have my children all the time but unfortunaley the courts will not allow it..We are both good parents in the eyes of the court of law and for that reason we were granted joint custody...The only way my children would have (in your eyes) a stable living arrangement is if I give the kids to my ex for the week.(just to have the kids left with their grandmother).and had them on the weekends,he would NEVER settle for me having the children more...My kids are very close with both parents and I don't think it would benifit the kids to be away from each of us like you suggested....This living arrangement that I requested to the judge and he granted is 50/50 and it allows both parents holidays and weekends with the children. Thank you for the advice Lizzi. ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Aug 24th, 2006 12:55 AM |
| I am very sorry to hear you are having a terrible time with your ex. Sounds like we have that same ex's that were cloned. Battling over custody sure does take it's toll. However, no matter how much you feel like giving up, don't!!! You are fighting for a better life for your children. You are doing all of this for them. Obviously, your ex has issues that you are trying to prevent your children to follow. That's why we have to fight for everything we believe is right. I agree with you about some days you feel weak--sick of fighting. There's a saying,"It's always darkest before the dawn!" As much as I hate to say, you will have to deal with him until your children are 18. Let me ask you if I may, are you still fighting for custody or is he trying to change the custody arrangements? Unless he has specific allegations that you are doing any emotional or physical harm to the children, I don't think a judge would allow such change but I guess that depends on the statues of where you live. Although, you say the children love both parents but it doesn't seem like the judge was being very fair to the children. They do need to have a stable routine environment especially if they go to school or have any extra-cirricular activities. It's got to be hard on them to be constantly going back and forth. I'm trying to understand, you both have joint custody but neither parent is the primary residential custodian? They are to live with both parents each week? Wow, your visitation schedule does seem complicated. I agree with you in not letting your husband have them any more than he does all for the mother in law to watch them. What good does that do? That doesn't allow you the quality time you deserve with them. In my case, I have joint custody but I am the primary residential custodian. My home address is their primary address especially for the school district. Everytime your ex pulls the stunt of not letting you have the kids, write it all down in a journal/calendar/datebook. This way, when you do go back to court, you can reference to your book of all the times he's taken your quality time with the children away from you. I do hope your lawyer is very aggressive for you in court!! You would think after the criminal charges your ex wouldn't be allowed to have the children as much. I agree with you, he is abusing the court order. It doesn't sound like your papers say anything about work holidays. You should definately let your lawyer know. Let your lawyer know everything your husband has violated. Hopefully, your grand day will happen in court. It took my custody case 2 years and we are still going at it. My ex doesn't think he has to follow the rules. In fact, he's suppose to be living in the school district that my son is enrolled in but my ex hasn't made the move yet. So, hopefully the school district will slap him with a hefty out of district school fee on him. However, we go to court tomorrow and hopefully my son will come back home to me. I hate having to go to court over these issues. To me it's ridiculous. If only we lived in a perfect world and divorced parents would get along and cooperate with each other for the children's sakes. Yet, there is always one parent that has to be the complete jerk. Anyways, keep me posted as to what your lawyer has said. You can email me if you would like to talk more about it. I'm curious and care about what your going through. This isn't an easy task. ↑ |
| Name: S | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 12:01 PM |
| What is going on now? How did everthing go? ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Aug 30th, 2006 12:20 PM |
| When I went to pick up my children the next morning at the ex mother in laws, there was nothing said, the kids came running out to see me as they normally do.....We were schedueled for a pre settlement trail but, the ex fired his lawyer (typical of him, he thinks his lawyer didn't fight good enough for him)....So, now I'm waiting until he finds a new lawyer until we can pursue with this case.....It's going to be a long haul so you may hear more of me when I need to vent .....Although when I spoke to my lawyer he said he was telling the judge that it's very urgent that this case gets resolved and agreements are made, with the children being in school now.......That's all for now .I'll keep you posted.... ↑ |
| Name: rito | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 2:18 PM |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 14th, 2006 3:08 PM |
| Well then,I guess everyones got their own idea of whats right and what works for them so carry on as you will. ↑ |
|
|
