Hello, This is my first time here on this forum and I have read through quite a few posts so far and found that this online community seems pretty helpful and supportive.
Anyway, here is my story:
Basically I have known my wife for around 4 years and have been married for 2 years.
Currently she is 24 and I am 26 years of age. In Mid-August, she finally broke down the news that she lost her feelings for me and that it might be better if we got divorced. She confirms that the reason why she wanted this is because I do not pay attention to her that much in the past and tried to hint me but I would not listen. I was like WHAT!?
She cant just assume that I am a psychic and know all her inner thoughts. She did request marriage counseling but I refused because I didnt think it was that bad and that we can work things out without it. She agreed. Things have been great for a while (so I thought) until I heard of the news in Mid-August.
Her work schedule allows her to take a half day on Thursday and the rest of the day Friday off. Since June, she has been going out every Thursday night to her friend Sergio's place for drinks. This guy is gay and confirmed. So I didnt really have anything to worry about...right?
Wrong.. When she left her phone one day before work I happened to pick it up thinking that it was my phone (cause we have similar ones) and found that she was texting a co-worker. Me , my wife and this co-worker all work at the same company and on the same floor as well.
Basically I didnt suspect anything happening until her night spending sessions at Sergio's was getting out of line. Out of curiosity, I checked my verizon statements and found that alot of the communication between the two just so happens to be on the Thursday and Friday nights that she is off work... Calls were in the range between 11pm - 1am.
Well my friend is a private investigator and I always whine and rant about my situation, so basically he did a courtesy investigation for me and revealed that she was indeed cheating on me and is staying over at this 20 year old kids apartment every Thursday and Friday nights. He left a note on her car about the investigation.
My friend told me the news in the morning and told me that he left a note on her windshield saying that I didnt know yet. Morning comes... She arrives to our place, I act non-chalant about the whole situation and ask what she was doing today, she looks at me and just says that she is moving out, I finally gave let all my emotions out and asked WHY and how can she do this to me.
Even in August she gave me a chance to work things out again but felt like it was not worth it at the time because she said my chances are slim. How can she even give me a chance if she is banging this guy way before I was even offered that option..
I am feeling mixed emotions right now, I feel that I am at a complete loss without her, even though it's evident that she is cheating on me. I cried and told her that I would change my whole life for her and she just looked at me with no expression whatsoever. (I know i'm a wuss for crying but damn..)
Supposedly she lost her feelings for me like over half a year ago..How come she didnt tell me about it..
I even thought about suicide last night but didnt have the balls to carry through with it though.
I'm an emotional wreck at this moment in time and any help will be appreciated.
I thought we had a great marriage going on, this news came out of the blue and caught me off guard totally.
I need help.. ↓
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| Name: HNR949 | Date: Sep 5th, 2007 6:15 PM |
| Thanks for everyones help.. ↑ |
| Name: patty | Date: Sep 5th, 2007 10:09 PM |
| I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time. Give it some time and it may get better. ↑ |
| Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Sep 7th, 2007 11:44 PM |
| you need to get in contact with a counselor for your self first and foremost the feeling of need for suicide is a definite problem if you need resources let me know i will try to help as far as your wife is concerned of you have the chance to get pro help with your marriage please do im in the middle of a divorce that was caused by the fact that my husband didnt see the need i just wanted a mediator because it is easier to tell some one things when you have support .good luck my email is [email protected] if you need to talk or get some help ↑ |
| Name: thankful | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 4:41 PM |
| I just want to say you must first take care of yourself. This situation is ussually reversed so I would tell my girlfriend leave his ass if he can't get right. So my advice to you is you wil survive you are young and have so much life ahead you. If you focus on yourself and your emotions then you can better make decision in the stituation. But as the old saying goes you cant turn a hoe into a house wife. If she is to be loose like this maybe you need to hear another saying. when some one shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM.. dont cloud you mind with what you can make them you have to love exactly who you are with. good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. ↑ |
| Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 12th, 2007 5:35 AM |
| When someone automatically loses their feelings for someone, someone else has replaced them. Either it's this Sergio guy, or someone was introduced to her. I feel so bad for you. It's tough to hear, but you need to get her out or your life and get on with yours. You will find someone to treat u like they should. Please, please please never kill yourself for anything, let alone a girl! She is not worth that! And if you did do that, it would be a great compliment that you loved her so much to take your own life. Life goes one, and before you know it, everyone forgets you, except the people who love you most, your family. You will be hurting them, not her. She's jst not worth it. ↑ |
| Name: Catherine | Date: Oct 18th, 2007 9:17 PM |
| I feel your pain. My husband is cheating on me with his ex wife. I just found out. I have no children and no family so now I am totally alone. I feel like there is no point in living anymore. ↑ |
| Name: HNR949 | Date: Dec 10th, 2007 12:36 AM |
Hello all,just wanted to give a status report. I remember having this page saved on my favorites and wondered if anyone even cared to respond. Thanks alot to all of you. I am doing much better now and going back to read what I had initially posted...Geez, I think I was in shock at that moment of time.
I am doing much better, believe me, I did not think I was able to pull through at all but I did, I still think about our past every now and then but it does not impact me as much as it did before.
It's been 4 months now and I am feeling awesome. Meeting so many new people and taking on so much in lfe right now. How I did it?....just ranting about it all the time .. letting it all out with friends and family.. people who actually care. I think I talked about it so much that I got it out of my system.
But Catherine, I went through all of this and want to help you if you need my help. email me at [email protected] if u have any questions.
Thanks to all you caring people! ↑ |
| Name: celestine | Date: Dec 11th, 2007 5:13 AM |
Hi HNR949:
I understand your story and thanks for sharing it with us. However, I can assure you that you are not alone in that boat, as there are many women who does that and even worst. I am a woman and I am ashamed sometime to be a woman.
Here’s a similar story that I have first hand knowledge of. My sister is dating that no good dog called Julien Henley, Manager at Bernard K. Passman Galleries on 5195 Dronningens Gade Ste. #2 in St. Thomas and has been with this girl by the name of Brenda Fahie who at one-time was married with the name Brenda Abraham. This damn woman would cheat on her husband with that man (Julien) and she even divorce the guy to be with no good Julien. She divorced her husband and ran to be with Julien and he left her so went around having naked pictures on the net by the name “thesweetestB”.
Her husband reunited with her and here she goes again with this Julien. She was on St. Thomas twice this Summer and was all over in secret with Julien and return to Atlanta and tell the guy who I hear is such a good guy to her that she lost feelings for him 2 ½ years ago. He left him yet a second time to be with Julien Henley (is the Jewelry that has them like that?) What is this dirty dog giving all these women he has? Perhaps STD and other diseases I can imagine?
HNR949, I feel your pain but I am more concern for my sister who is also dating that dirty dog and she will not listen to me, but she will find out.
Be Strong HNR949.
Celestine ↑ |
| Name: Alfred | Date: Dec 12th, 2007 6:57 PM |
| Celestine, I am not from St. Thomas but I can tell you that these kind of things happened all the time. Someone told me once that USVI girls are like that anyway. These girls are big time cheaters and give children to the wrong men. Like these guy I forgave me wife in the New York area for cheating on me with her ex., but it is hard when you forgive and these women go back and do the samething over and over again, then what we as men should do? ↑ |
| Name: Mary | Date: Dec 14th, 2007 10:31 PM |
I am indeed sorry women, but lets be candid here. Are you all sure that some of you all are not indeed guilty of cheating? After all, men don’t just act like that out of the blue; something has to trigger such reactions. As woman I am not advocating that men should abuse, assaulted or even cheat on their wives and/or partner. However, having said that, as a woman I know that there are some terrible out here who have very good men but cause them to turn bad because of these women actions.
Some of us women and (its sadly is in majority) tends to cheat and do it dangerously as that. These days marriage union means nothing anymore as society has condone the evil of cheating, etc., and even in the Churches is has become prevalent. Women divorce their husband to be with ex and so-called first night stand. Some are married for years with children and some of the children they know are not their husband child but they falsely give him the child. The bottom line is some women and many at that, are making other good women look bad in the sight of men today.
By the way divorce is not the answer – there are too many of that as we speak. Get right with God is the answer! ↑ |
| Name: sabrina | Date: May 13th, 2013 3:36 PM |
| Esango priest helped my marriage. The problem was not between my husband and I, but from jealousy brought on by his family. Ever since we met, they have tried to sabotage our relationship. It felt to me as if I wasnt just married to him, but also his family, which was slowly dividing us. We were on the verge of divorcing, I consulted [email protected] to find out if he could help save our marriage. I'm happy to say that he did and I can't thank him enough. So if you have a marriage problem contact [email protected] ↑ |
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