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Name: SGC
[ Original Post ]
My husband was married to the most vindictive woman I have ever met and now shes making me crazy!! She disrespects myself and my husband and all he does is "yes mam" her because he's afraid she will make it hard for him to see his kids, which she already does now. It makes me crazy because the more he kisses her ass the more she will keep pulling this crap. She uses her kids as pawns and when he wont do what she wants him to do she keeps the kids from him. I try to tell him that he has to stand up for himself and make her realize she cant treat us like this and then ask us for favors. They have 2 children that live about an hour away. She signs them up for soccer, t-ball you name it and we have ALWAYS made sure they made it to their games on our weekends.Their daughter begged us for 2 years to sign her up for competitive cheerleading for the team my child is on. We know how jealous her mother is of me and my daughter so we fought her on it until this year. Her mother made it clear she would have NOTHING to do with bringing her to practice because we signed her up for it so it was our responsibility. (at 1st she even refused to let her do this team because my daughter was on it and to pick another team) I think its assanine esp where we have never allowed her kids to miss anything she signs them up for. Thats just how I am, you do it for the kids because they enjoy it. With that being said my husband had to go out of town for 3 weeks for his new job. I had offered to still take the kids as if there dad was home and she agreed to meet me 1/2 way so I could get her child to practice. In the meantime she told us she was going on her 3rd vacation in 3 months and wanted us to take the kids for the week. Seeing they live an hour away this would require both of us to leave our jobs early to get them off the bus and to come in late to put them on the bus. I can not do this because I dont have a job where I can come and go as I please and he just started a new job and I explained I'd love to help but its not possible with our jobs or my daughters cheering schedule. She flipped out told me not to bother getting the kids and her child missed her classes 3 weeks in a row because she didnt get her way. Im so sick of her acting like she is a queen and we are at her beackon call? Who does she think she is anyway?? She even tried to get her lawyer to order us to take the kids that week, she couldnt understand why I wouldnt use MY vacation time so she could go away?? Are you freakin kidding me?? She is insane, my vacation time is for MY use for MY child when I want to use it not when she thinks I should for her benefit.. She is constantly doing this crap and Id really love to let her have it and tell her exactly what I think of her.. but I wont.. thats why Im venting here.. Thanks :)
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Name: Lory | Date: Nov 28th, 2007 4:16 PM
I completely understand what your going through & your frustrations...man..do I! After almost 14 yrs. what I can tell you is...(which it's obvious you already do) just be there for the kids when you can...or are allowed. One day..they will get older and respect the fact that you didn't "stoop" to act like their mom and attempted to keep them out of the middle! They will always love their mother..no matter what..but, at the same time...see her tactics! My sk's resent the fact that their mom "kept" them from us at times...they missed out on alot of family times and vacations here. We tried is all I can say....and, today have relationships with them anyway...despite her!

As far as your dh kissing her rear....I imagine he will continue to do so for many years to come..he really is in fear of not seeing his kids. My dh did it for years....the x pretty much ran our life for a long time! One day...my dh got ill from not being able to have our weekends for our dd...(the x was always switching them up)...we could not make any plans for us...ever! He realized that tho he loved all his children...he had one at home that was suffering from her evil tactics too! He then called his kids and told them...he wasn't gonna play the game any longer...and, to call us whenever they wanted to see us! That was the day we took "our" life back. The kids did call...she still made it a nightmare...but, it was on "our" terms! I know it gets hard to support your dh when you know the x is playing everyone...and you feel he's kissing her rear....but, stand strong, he needs your support now more than ever...and, so do the kids. Your dh needs a place of security...thats in you and your home. I know I sound "preachy" here....but, again...I've lived it for a very long time..and, we're still together. (which she really hates..lol)

As far as taking your vacation...nope you def. should not have to use yours for hers! Been there...done that! I can only say after this entire post is....sometimes, some of these x's cannot move on...my dh's x is remarried and has been almost since the day we got married. Actually, she had her dh living w/her and the kids 2 weeks after my dh moved out! They won't grow up, put their kids 1st, at least my dh's x didn't! All you can do is the best you both can...live your lives, try to include the kids as much as you can....be there for them! After 14 yrs. the x still tries stupid sh*t! We just got a dental bill last week in the amount of $1700...and, we have dental insurance. Right before Christmas...(one of her yearly ploys). These days...I just laugh...call the dental office tell them not to pull this crap..how's 20 bucks a month suit you...lol ...b/c that's all your gonna get...if you do this again....we do pay an unreasonable amount of support yanno??? She makes herself sound indigent! They cannot apologize enough!

I hope after this extremely long post (lol)....some things I've said will help you out somewhere..someday! Good Luck & Best Wishes to you! 

Name: SGC | Date: Nov 29th, 2007 6:24 PM
Thanks Lory for your reply... Its soo nice to know someone else has gone through this and actually made their marriage work at the same time :) It is very encouraging to me. I just cant imagine the stuff these woman do to their kids to get back at the x. Yesterday she didnt feel like driving 1/2 way so she told her kids she was tired and if mommy drove 1/2 way she would fall asleep at the wheel, crash and die. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Her kids are only 6 and 9. She doesnt deserve to be a mother..

Thanks again :) 

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