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Name: jamessullivan
[ Original Post ]
Hi All:
I am 19 years old, and I have a 15 year old sister. My parents got divorced about 3 years ago. My dad has been remarried for about a year and a half. My mom is still single, and is a very loving and compassionate person. My dad has always been the most generous and unselfish person I have ever met. My dad and I have always had a real close relationship, and my sister and my mom had the same. When my dad was ready to propose to the Stepmom, he came into my room one night and asked my permission. I was blown away from this as it showed me how much respect he had for me as a son and friend. For the 7 months they were engaged, this lady was the nicest, most respectful and helpful stepmom I could have asked for. She would always make huge breakfasts for us and always seemed to be there for my sister and I. She was a great addition to the family, along with her 25 year old son who is now my step brother. As soon as they got married, like instantaneously, she became a totally different person. She lies, manipulates, and does a great job of angering me. I started boxing about a year ago because of her, as it is a great way to relieve stress. She comes off to be a beautiful, NICE (always smiling), and caring person. I can't even describe in words the hatred I have for this lady. I have never met someone as fake as her. In my opinion, this lady is trying to find a way to get my sister and I in trouble so that she can have my dad all to herself. For example, she will go in to my room to clean it (go through all my drawers), and come across something bad, like a pack of cigarettes or condoms, and say to my dad that they were lying on the ground as she was doing a GOOD deed by cleaning my room. She always comes across as the Good guy to my dad, and my sister and I will get in trouble. One day my sister got sick of it, and told her NEVER to come into her room again, so our stepmom put toilet cleaner, vacuum, and a bunch of cleaning utensils all over her room and completely stopped doing her laundry. My sister was 13 at the time! Who's the responsible one here?? The one thing that I will never forget is the one morning when I was making breakfast before school, and she came in and told me that I am not loved by my father or mom, how I am always giving off a negative vibe and nobody wants to be around me. She told me how my mom has been telling her how she is struggling with me as I am a burden on her life. I told my mom this and my mom told me how she hasn't talked to her in the past 3 months and how that was totally false. She was saying also how I am the worst role-model to my sister, and I was really affected by this and I straight up told her if she ever has anything like that to say again, that she needs to keep it inside and NOT let me know. She was offended by this and went into her room and started to cry. Then, my dad came home and saw her crying and came up to yell at me for making her cry. See, this is the type of shit I'm talking about here. She always makes references to how perfect her son is, and how much of horrible children my sister and I are. Since I left for college, she makes my sister's life a living hell. When I lived at home, I was always standing up for my sister and would always put my stepmom back in her place. Of course, by doing this I was showing a lack of respect for her once she told my dad on me for yelling at her. It's just unfair because my dad usually takes my stepmom's side, since she just moved in a year ago and my dad wants her to feel like part of the family. Like just the other day I came back home to visit from college for Thanksgiving, and my sisters snack food was down by the dog food, so I helped my sister move her food to another cabinet up top, which my dad approved of, since the cabinet just had my stepmoms nice plates and baskets. The next day my stepmom flips out on everyone, locks herself in her room and then leaves to stay in a hotel that night. This kind of stuff happens all the time, and my sister has gotten so upset by all of this and all the games my stepmom plays, because my dad usually takes her side. My sister recently told my dad that she had to take a break from going over to my dads house because she just hated the environment. If anyone can PLEASE give me some advice on how to fix this problem, I would greatly appreciate it, as I am up all night some night thinking about this. It really hurts me inside when I think about how she is ruining the family. PLEASE HELP
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Name: daniel | Date: Sep 7th, 2008 8:00 PM
You know what you need to just stay away from her.Don't have anything to do with her. Just ignore her.Pretend she ain's there. 

Name: stayc | Date: Sep 8th, 2008 2:19 PM
I am a stepmom and I can see your anger. FAMILY MEETING!! Your father needs to have his wife and children together. Go over house rules with father and step-mom. They should have the same rules. If they don't, then they have issues that they need to work out first. Everyone needs to know boundries. Your father needs to know that you have boundries, as well as they do, that your step-mom needs to respect. Your father needs to get more involved if the family is being torn apart. You also probably need some alone time with him without the step-parent. She too may need time away with him. I hope this helps. Once they house rules and bounderies are set, then that should give a little breathing room. 

Name: ann | Date: Sep 8th, 2008 3:34 PM
TAPE RECORDER!!!! Set a recorder up and when your dad is not around get her on it. Don't start anything just record your day to day life and put the recorder in his car before he leave for work....with a note that says please listen to this dad. Let me know how it works out 

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