Hello, guest
|
Name: jammers80
[ Original Post ]
O.k. you girls that are married, getting married or dealing with an ex-wife. My fiancee and i are getting married in 3 months and then we are going to try to have a little one. I was real friendly with his ex-wife we took the kids (3) to the beach and we come back home to find in our mailbox child support papers. she is going back to court to get an increase because she said that the kids are getting older and expenses getting higher. SHE DOES NOT WORK. she has not either since the kids were born. what the heck is that? the kids are older 10 & up the girl gets alot anyway. how do you know how much they will increase it and will they take my children into consideration. I don't understand if the kids are getting expensive GET A JOB TOO TO HELP US OUT. CAN ANYone explain this to me and please give me advice. I need it. on how to understand this and how to deal with this.
Your Name


captcha

Your Reply here


 
Name: Lory | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 3:00 AM
Does the paperwork state it's a modification? I don't know where your from...but, here in Co. there has to be a 10% change in income either way for it to even go to court to be modified. You can't just "take" someone to court for an increase. They have child support guide lines that they use to determine what % each party is responsible for. Do y'all have a court order at all?
If she is unemployed...and has been...the courts automatically impose minimum wage on her b/c she is capable of working. Also here in Co. they do not take your children into consideration...at least they didn't with us. I hope I've answered some of your questions. Good Luck to you! 

Name: Laura | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 5:18 AM
We just had the same thing happen to us. My husband's ex-wife wanted more child support (he already pays more than enough) and she wanted full custody of her kids because he currently doesn't see them. She's not very smart. If she has full custody of the kids and he gave up his parental rights he wouldn't have to pay child support. Anyways, he didn't get the increase because he really didn't make what she thought he made. It all comes down to the guidelines set for each state. But if he doesn't make more money than the last time they were in court, he should definitely not get the increase. Hope that helps. 

Name: Jamie Lynn | Date: Jul 28th, 2007 2:02 PM
let me pull the paper lory and laura. i am soo glad i found this forum. it is order of court-appear at a modification conference. we are in pennsylvania. his income has went up alot since the hearing in 2004. if it does go up i wonder by how much. i think it has went up by 10,000. i know the guideline chart i have been staring at it for 24 hours now. i have been using my calculator to look at different scenarios. i can't believe this jerk would do that i have a bridal shower coming up. i sware she is jealous of us and there is no reason. now if i have 2 kids you are saying they will not decrease her child support. we are planning on having 2. yeah Laura my ex -wife is not too bright either, we not only pay her child support but we pay for everything for the kids-cell phones, cheerleading, etc. etc. and now if she does go to court we are taking that away from the kids and she has to pay for it. something is seriously wrong with her. i hate to wish the kids to be 18, i really tried to be decent with her. i wish she just would come to us and asked instead of being sneaky. laura are you from around here? i know lory is from Colorado. what if we told her if she can't afford them that we will try to get custody. we both work etc. i would love to have the kids with us. i mean i would hate to take them away, but if they have joint custody with us, anyway, it has to be 10% change . please tell me anything else you can think of and i truly appreciate all you are telling me. i have had anxiety since last night, plus i am trying to get ready for my wedding and showers. isn't t funny how she was dating this guy for four years and as soon as we announce we are getting married 4 months later she is engaged. WHAT IS THIS A RACE? oh well, nothing i can do. at least we have one mature woman in this scenario. she acts like we are in highschool 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 9:41 PM
She is raising 3 children......and you want her to get a job to help you out! 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 10:01 PM
jammers80, i can only assume you have kids of your own, do you get child support from their dad, do you get enough?? you are so typical of the ''new'' wife. taking the kids to the beach is NOT enough to support them. omg!!! 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 10:12 PM
If you read they are paying support, cell phones, cheerleading, etc. And...they don't have children of their own. That's why I stated you cannot just take someone to court when you feel like it. I'm sure taking them to the beach was a visitation outing. Why does everyone stereotype NEW wives? People are so judgmental!! The x's can be bitter, vindictive, uncooperative, and make everyone's lives...as well as their children's he!! We can all assume...these posts are not the WHOLE story. There are always 2 sides. 


Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 10:22 PM
And furthermore...she came her for advice...not to be judged. Why would you reply without reading the entire post 1st? 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 10:23 PM
post & replies 1st...oops, my bad. 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 10:53 PM
where does it say they are paying for cell phones and cheerleading? I think it is harsh to diss the ex for not working when she was raising 3 kids!! She is making the judgments here.....like the ex should have been raising her children and working as well.....

"SHE DOES NOT WORK. she has not either since the kids were born. what the heck is that? " that is a direct quote.......

I am sure there is more to the story but that is all that has been given here.....so that is what my comments refer to. 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:06 PM
i must apologise to Lory i've obviously rattled her cage, i was replying to jammers80, as an ''x'' i am not recieving any support because the girlfriend would ''go without'' if he was supporting his children. i am going to assume yet again here that jammers80 and jamie lynne are one and the same, good for the dad that he is supporting his kids and paying phones cheerleading etc but as we all know there is more than that involved. I appreciate that there are silly women out there who make things unnecesserily difficult but we do not all do that, no matter what your opinion of us may be Lory. i thought one could give their opinions and views on this post, without being labelled bitter or judgemental which for the record i CERTAINLY am not any of those, and i am also very aware that there are two sides to every story, are you Lory? best of luck to that couple getting married , very brave to have 5 children in this day and age to support, but i am not here to judge. i do think Lory should step off her soap box though. 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:15 PM
ohh I see jammer and Jamie Lynne are the same person. I don't generally read all the replies, I just repond to the post......my bad!! LOL 

Name: cinner29 | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:17 PM
Oh and I still stand by my comments.........!! 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:23 PM
hi cinner29, and there was me thinking it may be because im from a different country, do you think they would also complain if the ex did get a job as then they may have to help out with child care even if the kids are over 10? 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:28 PM
to cinner29: my post was not directed to you..I'm sorry if I didn't post exactly where it needed to go.

hmm...no apology necessary...I'm fine. lol Why are you trying to turn the table when your post was clearly judgmental?

jammers80, i can only assume you have kids of your own, do you get child support from their dad, do you get enough?? you are so typical of the ''new'' wife. taking the kids to the beach is NOT enough to support them. omg!!! =

If that's not judgmental...I honestly don't know what is in your book? Oh for crying out loud..soap box...lmfao!! Oh and one more thing hun..yes you gave your opinion, as I expressed mine. Mine...means I'm on a soap box! lol Have a good one! 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:28 PM
Oh and part of my last post was for irish Amy! 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:31 PM
irish Amy...been there done that. Do you think it's diff. here in the U.S.? 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:42 PM
To: jammers80...sorry to have ruined your post. That was never my intention. Have a good one..hope things are working out for you. 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 1st, 2007 11:49 PM
i would have thought Lory that this was the same the world over, there will always be the difference of opinions, the bad press the ex's get when its more than often them who raise the kids as everyone knows, everybody has an opinion no matter what country you're in. i only read the post the replies were in different names, but i am entitled to my view the same as everybody else and there is more than me surprised by jammers80 opening post remarks. just a quote from that post if i may, ''how do you know how much they will increase it and will they take my children into consideration''. again i read the post. im sure the ex wife is not interested in the bridal shower, but maybe im wrong on that. 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 2nd, 2007 12:52 AM
Oh, irish Amy...truce. LOL! I'm not here to debate all day long w/ya! And..I def. do not feel like slinging accusations back and forth the whole time.

Of course your opinions are valued..as well as I would hope mine would be. Honestly..when it comes to new wives..and x wives (I'm sure) there will never (honestly) be a solid ground.

I simply offered my advice to jammers80/Jamie Lynn and didn't understand why you felt the need to post what you posted. So I posted my opinion. And...you posted yours. Let's move along.

In her case..how do you honestly know what the x desires? We don't. We have all lived and been through diff situations. On that note...I do not feel the need to continue this post. Please have a great day! 

Name: irish Amy | Date: Aug 2nd, 2007 1:23 AM
Truce lol. 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 2nd, 2007 1:43 AM
Great....~LOL~ 

Name: patty | Date: Aug 2nd, 2007 10:45 PM
Every state has income guidelines. You can find your state on-line. example (yourstate)child support guidelines. Even if she has no income when the figures are put into the computer she will be charged with 40 hrs at minimum wage. How long has it been since the CS was looked at as far as income and dependency. Some states review it yearly automatically. CS is based on pay before taxes. If you get charged with more CS make sure that you can carry one of those 3kds as a dependent on your taxes. Its sad but true the older they get the more they cost. Autos, insurance,clothes, etc. 

Name: jamie | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 8:24 PM
Lory,
thanks so much for your input. i appreciate all your comments. i want the best for the children i love the kids and yes i try to get along with everyone. i just needed to vent. i am sorry if i offended any mothers here. i am just trying to understand. thanks everyone for you input and i truly appreciate it all. this is new to me, but i am o.k. now. I do not have kids, but we are going to try to have kids. again, the children are school age. SHE SHOULD WORK. i Would work if i had kids to take care of. I have never met a woman who does not work to try to make life better for her kids. I WOULD WORK 2 jobs to give my kids the life they desire. I am not backing down on that. SHE NEEDS TO work even 10 hrs. a week. And we have the kids A LOT. and i totally give the woman a lot of credit 

Name: rita | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 8:28 PM
The man is not the only person who made these children. She Jammers is correct. and i agree with her. the ex-wife seems lazy. these women who are arguing cinners and irish are people that don't understand that they need to understand alot more. 

Name: rita | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 8:44 PM
that is right cinner29 jammers did say she does not work, but she also said the kids are school age. i have 4 kids and i work 2 jobs and get child support. i want the best for my kids. She jammers is correct she does need to work. some at least. how can she feel good about herself knowing that she is not helping financially. i mean come on. the woman is lazy. she is lazy and there is nothing else to say and i hope she gets a decrease in child support. end of story. jammers my prayers are with you sweetie. 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 9:29 PM
My views exactly ladies....that's how I was brought up. You do what you have to for your children. If that means 2 or 3 jobs to provide...so be it. With or without Dad!! But...that's me...I've never really been one to depend on anybody...but, myself!!
And ...to drag someone in and out of court to me is just harder on the children. IMO
I'm by far not saying Dad or whomever does not have a responsibility to his children. But, to sit at home and demand it to me is crazy! 

Name: Lory | Date: Aug 3rd, 2007 9:30 PM
Sorry..my post was for jamie and rita.
Your welcome jamie...have a good one! 

Name: jammers80 | Date: Aug 4th, 2007 12:28 AM
Lory,
I love ya girl. i totally do. you are the best. your understanding means a lot and i know you are right with me sister. it is tough, but it is worth it. I am here to always talk to ya. Your awesome. God Bless you sweetheart. You have a very mature attitude and not an attack attitude. This post was asking for help not being attacked by people. Women need to talk things out and understand other points of view not attack each other. US being women have to stick together and help each other out. this world is rough and we all know the women take on most of everythiing in life. So....lets all work with each other and try to help one another. Opinions are great because they give a thought to another person who may not be walking in their shoes. This site is to help out. again i appreciate all the posts. this is important for people struggling with tough times in their life. Thanks again. 

Name: kimmer | Date: Nov 29th, 2010 11:03 PM
can a daughter take her father tpo court for child support. he never paid a dime for support when i was growing up and i was wondering if you could get it now... 

Name: diane | Date: Feb 9th, 2012 10:22 PM
Take custody. I'm sure she is ok financially. She's just using that as an excuse to harrass you. The kids are not going to grow up mentally stable if she's going to keep that nonsense up. Just file for custody and get her out of your lives. She needs a man or a hobby or SOMETHING. She's unhappy and this is not a good influence on children. Bitterness and abuse will not be good in the long run. Also, by wasting time by fighting and arguing, she is neglecting the children. 

Copyright 2024© babycrowd.com. All rights reserved.
Contact Us | About Us | Browse Journals | Forums | Advertise With Us