| Name: 2nd is best | Date: Aug 7th, 2008 11:57 PM |
It's not the ex wifes "right" to keep the name! Thats where the problems in alot of the posts here stem from these days. The ex thinks she has a "right" to do anything she desires at any time, no matter who it hurts, even her own children!
But, agreeing with most here. If it makes the kids feel secure, stable, and comforted to have it. By all means keep it. It's only a name! I have been fortunate enough that my hubbys ex took some other poor fools name. hahahaahaaa ↑ |
| Name: connie | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 5:40 PM |
| Don't count on her taking back her maiden name once you marry and and have the same last name. My husband's ex kept his last name (they did have 2 children together.) It really does not bother me. I do think that you should be aware of credit fraud. She could still use your husband's ss# and get credit cards, etc. and not pay the bills. My husband's ex has terrible credit and he is very suspicious that she could have allready done that. It would be wise to check your credit twice a year. ↑ |
| Name: ann | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 6:35 PM |
| I am remarried but I have two kids by my ex. My daughter was 7 when we divorced and 10 when I remarried. She did not want me to have a different last name than hers so I hypinated. I dont' want any assocation with my EX at ALL but it is about my kids. My husbands ex wife also shares the same last name so it elimated a little drama...well maybe ↑ |
| Name: Monica | Date: Nov 14th, 2008 7:37 PM |
HA,
I am in the same boat. I don't know if I am going to change my last name to his, once we marry, because his ex-wife kept his last name. It is not about insecurity, like you said, I just don't feel like it is unique to me, since she kept it. He wants me to have his name, but I just don't know.
I know a lot of women who keep their former married name, mainly because it is a hassle to change it back. So don't worry to much about it...if you want it, take it....you are the Mrs. now, not her...if anything, she will look silly keeping it. ↑ |
| Name: ann | Date: Nov 17th, 2008 5:42 PM |
| I legally kept my ex's last name but TRUST ME it is NOTHING to do with him!!! It is only for the sake of my children. I am now in a situation where I am married and still don't want to change my name legally, for business reasons and the sake of my children. Not to mention my husbands ex and I have the same first name!! kinda weird. I was the mother of my children first and I just feel like we are family no matter what man comes and goes (not that I think for one minute we would ever divorce but my children are my blood if that makes sense) Anyways, just because an ex chooses to keep the name DOES not mean they want your man...trust me they are probably happy you have them!!! ↑ |
| Name: raeynah | Date: Jan 24th, 2009 2:25 PM |
| Why are you worrying about her at all? I mean why spend your time worrying about his past? Can't you just think about your future? She's raising his children - I think she deserves a break ↑ |
| Name: mambatam | Date: Feb 20th, 2009 9:30 PM |
| Interesting post. I agree with most of the posts here: Stop worrying about it and get on with your life. If you are hung up on a name you are not very secure in your relationship. That is your problem. No one else's, especially the Ex. Changing names is a nightmare, especially when you have children and is not worth the headache, questions or hassle. I was married for 18 years and kept my Ex's last name. I have no intentions of changing it, even though I did re-marry, I hyphenate. After 18 years, I am more comfortable with my Ex's married name then my maiden name and it keeps things simple! You may not like it, but the truth is that when a couple have children they are tied together forever. Keeping a last name certainly has no reflection on you. Time to get over your insecurities. Afterall, he is married to you, right? ↑ |
| Name: Cathy | Date: Mar 5th, 2009 3:51 PM |
| I was just divorced with two children. I will keep my ex husbands last name because that is my kids last name. What's the big deal? There are some women who never take on the husbands last name. Because she keeps the last name doesn't mean she wants to get back with him. It's just easier for the kids. ↑ |
| Name: S | Date: Mar 30th, 2009 7:11 PM |
| My bf ex-wife made a nasty scene about me keeping my ex-husband's last name. Called me and my bf a bunch of names. But she has never changed back to her maiden name either. I truly don't understand nasty ex-wives and their need for drama. ↑ |
| Name: pollygirl | Date: Apr 17th, 2009 11:16 PM |
| When I divorced I wanted my last name changed as soon as possible, it is weird to even want to keep your ex's last name. I have a child and it is complicated to pick up your child with a different last name. How many children are born out of wedlock and parents have different names? Many, it is not that complicated. Give me a break, it boils down to the ex wants to keep the last name for her sake, not the kids, not the paperwork ....correct me if i am wrong but didn't she have to change from her maiden name to her ex's name after they got married, so she already knows how and where to change her last name. Having the same last name as the kids for the kids sake....Really, the kids? Do the kids not remember their father all of a sudden? Do these women even remember that they had to first marry to even be legally entittled to use his name? Please explain what happen's when (more like if they ever remarry) they decide to remarry. Do they keep the the ex's name, or blend it with the new spouse's name for the children's sake? uhhhhhh? Please do explain. How will the kids ever understand?What I have noticed is that the women that keep their ex's last name are usually the type of woman that secretly wanted to reunite with their ex. Even if they were the one's that filed somehow they wanted a miricle to happen. Kinda sad huh? That would explain it all wouldn't it? Believe me if you were ready for a divorce, you would want the last name removed from yours, even celebrate removal from it. On top of that you still would be able to maintain a meaningful connection with your child even though you don't share the same last name. So if your new husband's ex wife still carries his name, take pity, she never got her miricle. ↑ |
| Name: Toni | Date: Apr 30th, 2009 5:20 PM |
| My husband and his ex wife have NO children, yet she has his last name. What do you think of this? ↑ |
| Name: mai_111 | Date: May 5th, 2009 9:30 PM |
| My husband's ex still has his last name and I couldn't care less! As some people have said, that's the least of your worries! My mum kept my dad's surname when they divorced so it was the same as mine and my brothers, it would have felt weird if she changed it. Perhaps this anxiety does stem from insecurity, which you'll get over in time. ↑ |
| Name: Jeawl | Date: Jun 15th, 2009 4:25 PM |
| I was the ex wife in your little situation for a couple of years....the ex and I had a wonderful daughter of 3 years at the time and she was young and confused by all the drama at the time. I kept the ex hubby's last name for her....not to create drama or for any other intention. Mind you I did not care what he was doing or how he was doing outside our daughter. She was my only concern. The marriage was done to his cheating.Now she is 10 and has an understanding as to why her father and I are not together. I am getting married in Sept 2009 and will be taking my fiance's name....and she wants to to. I was not sure what to do about her changing her name but she has a younger half sister that is 2 and she explained to me that she wants the same last name as her sister and the rest of the family. I have given her the whole "it don't matter what your last name is...your still part of the family" talk. But she has made her own decision and now I am gonna have to deal with her very absent angry father.....so in short....who cares what her last name....pay no attention to her. The more attention you pay it, its attention that she is getting and not you....as his wife. ↑ |
| Name: First wife | Date: Jun 22nd, 2009 12:36 PM |
| I am currently married and have been for 10 years to a soldier. We have 2 kids (one who has medical needs for life) and another one on the way and yes its his baby. However we are separated. Not because of the decisions that I made. I have loved and supported him even when he made decisions that affected not only his life but our family's life. I have never cheated on him once. However I can't say the same for him. I have seen letters and cards from different females come to my home (one was even from another female soldier he had been talking to while in Iraq). He spent our 10th anniversary with his current girlfriend doing the things we planned. He has lied to me countless times and has lied to her about cheating on her and still sleeping with me. (He moved out in Feb. and still coming to the house after 24 hr. duty at 6am in the morning. While she was waiting at the apartment they were staying at.) But yet he wasn't sleeping with me? Go figure. Not to mention the fact that the girlfriend hit me while being pregnant while driving his car. And no I was messing with her. I trying to cross t he street. There's alot more that I could say but I won't. She has said that he is planning on moving her to his next duty station if he doesn't get chaptered out the army first and has went as far as to say he doesn't care what happens to us. However we are going through marriage counseling and he has told me and the counselor he doesn't know what he wants. (Just another lie though.) He told me that if and when we got a divorce he was MAKING me take back my maiden name. And I told him right after he changes our kids last name (which he refuses because our son is a Jr.). He is the one that walked out on our family and I will not change my last name to please him or her. If they want to be together I really don't care because I am getting to old to continue to beg and pleed with a "31 boy" that only cares about his wants. I have always told him from the beginning that my kids and I would always have the same last name. Some assume that the ex is out to cause trouble by keeping the last name and that's not always the case. So sometimes when the new spouse steps into a situation, the question shouldn't be about the last name but what really happened for them to divorce after so many years. ↑ |
| Name: blueeyes! | Date: Jul 1st, 2009 9:44 AM |
| Im in the situation where i feel the ex wife is addicted to drama, because she lives in a different country she is delusional in thinking people will still believe she is married soshe retains my fiance's name. Also she is avoiding telling the youngest son my partner is not his real father.I feel sorry for her if she thinks there is any chane of reconcillation between them. some would keep the name for kids sake others do it to stir up tension, why wouldnt she want rid of his name. ↑ |
| Name: js | Date: Sep 4th, 2009 8:35 PM |
| My husbands ex remarried a year ago. My husband and his ex have 2 kids together. Those 2 kids live with us because she walked out on them. She never changed her name to her new husbands??? And now she is having a new baby. When she does get visitation to the kids and signs homework, she signs OUR last name out of spite. He has even asked her to change her last name but she refuses and says her kids have that name.... What about the child she is going to have with her new husband? And is he absolutely crazy to let this go on. She does this to bother me and to try to hold on to something she will never get back. I have it now and am keeping it : ) ↑ |
| Name: Cherie | Date: Sep 9th, 2009 1:49 PM |
| My husbands ex-wife kept his surname and they have ben divorced almost 20 years! She also then gave his surname to a second child which has nothing to do with him. This annoys me a lot as its nothing to do with him and I beleive a surname is an important part of the family. She even tried to get CSA payments off us for her but when asked to do a DNA test she dropped the claim! ↑ |
| Name: Miranda | Date: Sep 19th, 2009 11:09 PM |
IS THERE THERE A LAW THAT SAY'S WE REALLY HAVE TO CHANGE ARE MARRED LAST NAME WHEN WE ALREADY GOT DIVORCE? I have to pay to much money and deal with so much crap just because some woman or the ex husband wants you to take their last name off. come on he dozen want to pay the child support on till i take his last name well i did not want to put his last name in the first place it toke me three years to finally put his last name because he wanted me to i did not want to have to go troll all this again now after almost three yeas of divorce he wants me to remove his last name im not going to spend money on all the thing that i have to change just to please him or her i don't even like the las name just that i was with him for almost 23 years by one month and all my boys have the same last name. all this woman that are acting so in mussier because of a name need to get a life you have the man what else do they want come on please get a life. im sorry but it's a hell even putting up with more problems do to the man or the woman over a name im not going trull it if the law dose not say i have to change it. that will be their problem and about the child support what can i do if he dose not pay just because i wont change it im a single mother trying not to loss what ever i have left do to the economy i left him keep every thing we own and he is till not happy i think his new girl friend is the one with the problem with me still having his last name but i will keep like it or not if the law dose not make me remove it. all just to chow the love for my kids im not going to let them feel bad because of any question why we would have different names how my kids feel is more in portend for me than any one else.
THANK YOU
SINCERLY ALWAYS
FROM: MIRANDA
; ) ↑ |
| Name: P.Oed | Date: Oct 11th, 2009 12:41 AM |
| My husbands x has remarried but she is still going by my husbands name.She has even used it 2 get things that she wants she uses her maiden name,my husbands and her husband that she has left now. ↑ |
| Name: Chasity | Date: Jan 6th, 2010 6:07 PM |
| I am in sort of the same situation however my husband's ex wife has remarried and is still using his last name not her husband's. Is this legal? ↑ |
| Name: ashley1986 | Date: Jan 27th, 2010 2:10 AM |
| My fiance has been divorced for almost 2 years. His ex wife, whom he has 2 children with, never got her name changed on anything, the only thing that had his last name with her first name was the marriage license. They got divorced and she went back to her maiden name because that was what her driver's license, SS card, and everything was in. She got married about a year ago and started using her new husband's last name, but never legally changed it on anything but the marriage license. Now she is supposedly getting separated from her new husband and has taken back my fiance's last name. Can she legally do that? Could she ever legally use it in the first place? ↑ |
| Name: murat | Date: Feb 15th, 2010 9:06 PM |
| Name: Betsy | Date: Feb 27th, 2010 9:16 PM |
| What about you have been married twice....the first time for 3 years and the second time NOW, for 18 years to the true love of your life.....you get an invitation to a cousins wedding shower and it has your first husband of 3 years of marriage on it as your last name......mind you it has been 18 years since you were even married to them......How rude and distastful is that???? Then you call them out about it...and they ignore you? ↑ |
| Name: leanne | Date: Mar 18th, 2010 4:02 PM |
| well heres one for you all my partners divorced, his ex has got herself pregnant by someone else, does she have the right to use my partners surname for those new kids? ↑ |
| Name: Stilts101 | Date: Mar 20th, 2010 3:24 PM |
| I am keeping my ex's name unless I remarry. It's a pain in the rear to change all the documents (it took me 2 years to change all my cards and loyalty cards etc when I married, ever look in your wallet?) and it's my daughters last name so there's no need to alienate her for no reason. It has nothing to do with "not letting go" it's just easier plus my maiden name isn't great so why would I want to go back to a name that I couldn't wait to get rid of LOL!? I actually found it weird when his ex changed her name back, I thought it was weird for her daughter (my stepdaughter at the time) having known her mother as the same name as her her whole life and then she hears people call her a different name than her own. She was remarrying and changed it back to her maiden name a year prior to what...feel like a virgin again? it was silly but her choice so whatever. I think if this is your only issue with the ex then you're doing well and you need to drop it and enjoy your marriage. Remember, you will now have the same name as her and his kids and will be referred to as their mother by strangers because of it... she has to deal with that so best you just let it go. You'll likely have bigger fish to fry down the road! My ex's exwife was a jealous monster and basically ended our marriage with all the antics and nastiness. Good Luck! ↑ |
| Name: rahul | Date: Jun 9th, 2010 11:20 AM |
| Name: rahul | Date: Jun 9th, 2010 11:25 AM |
| Name: WTF??? | Date: Jul 22nd, 2010 9:28 PM |
| WHAT MAN WOULD WANT HIS WIFE TO HAVE ANOTHER MAN'S NAME? ↑ |
| Name: 2nd wife | Date: Sep 12th, 2010 11:14 PM |
| I was not bothered at first that my husbands ex wife had kept his last name until she started playing endless mind games between the children and him, and this has continued for 5 yrs now. She will not pass on messages to them etc. The lies she tells to people is astounding. She has had a new partner now for 2-3 yrs. She told my husband that she had stopped using his name ages ago and recent csa dealings have revealed that she is still using his last name. She claims he is a bad father, although he has been so patient when it comes to her and her mind games. When she first met her new partner we were having his son over to stay all the time as it was convenient for her!. His son is very influenced by his mother and the bond is slipping away. It's amazing how an ex- wife can try to take your children away, cripple you financially through using the csa, drag your name through the dirt but still keep your family name after all that! Wheres the justice? ↑ |
| Name: Dan | Date: Sep 23rd, 2010 1:47 AM |
| My x wife remarried and is now getting divorced and now wants my name back.Can she do this in Florida? ↑ |
| can i take my last name back from my ex-wife/ ↑ |
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