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SO my boys haven't been with their Dad for a visit in over 4 months and they get to go the day after Christmas for 6 days!!!! I am so anxious about it because it's been so long since they've been with he and his new wife. Even when they were going on a semi-regular basis, their Dad and wife couldn't handle the two of them for more than a couple of days befroe they would call and ask if the boys could come home early or call asking,"What should we do? They are driving us NUTS!!!" I HATE THAT! Just venting....thanks for listening:) ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 19th, 2006 5:02 AM |
| If you don't want them brought home early then you can tell your ex you are taking a trip while he has the kids so if he has any "problems" he is on his own for a solution. Tell him you will be back the day before they are due to return home! :) But if you can't lie and want to be honest,just tell him that they are his kids to entertain for those 6 days and you would appreciate it if he would not bother you with silly non-since,unless of course a true emergency arises! Tell him he should be able to handle his own kids for 6 short days and not have to bring them home early! ↑ |
| Name: chris m | Date: Dec 19th, 2006 1:28 PM |
| Do your boys want to go and how old are they? ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Dec 19th, 2006 3:17 PM |
| To billy22, are you anxious because they are going at all? I know I would be a little anxious myself. Don't stress. If a situation does occur. I know it's easier said than done, but...cross that bridge when you get there. We dealt with the opposite. The ex would call us continually, and write letters if the kids were here even for a week. We live approx. 13 miles away from each other! She must have been going crazy when we would go out of town with them. (That was before "cell phones") lol Do they have children together? If so, you would think they would be able to handle it. Anyway, not much help to ya except try not to stress on it. Hope things work out. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Dec 19th, 2006 9:05 PM |
| Well both the boys want to go, they are 9 and 12. They miss their Dad and NO their Dad does not have kids together with his current wife. They have only been married for a couple of weeks and have been together for about a year and a half. She is a 23 year old first timer to a lot of things including children. That has been a real issue for a long time. I want the boys to be able to come home if they are homesick, but i also want their Dad to learn how to handle them in situations like that. It's gonna be so hard on me because I put my heart and sole into them and the mere thought of them being homesick or having their feelings hurt, kills me! I know I am worrying too much. And like Lory said, I will try to cross that bridge when I get to it. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Dec 19th, 2006 9:34 PM |
| Yea, I somewhat know what you mean on the thought of them feeling hurt or homesick killing ya. I know it's not the same but... I cannot hardly stand it when my daughter is visiting relatives or at a friends. I call all the time. It's kinda a big family joke. There's Lory calling....AGAIN! I think I make her homesick! She's 11 by the way. Hehehe Wow. I just found myself thinking about why my hubbies ex was calling all the time. Nah, she was just playin games. It's great they're getting to see their Dad though. Hopefully, they will have a great time! And you too! I was 25, & new to having kids when I met my husband. He has 3. It was a little intimidating at first. I'm sure with all of us. Then came our daughter. I guess I just tried to treat them as though they were ours when they came to visit. Oh, there were issues. But...my hubby did most of the disipline. I wish my hubbys ex would have appreciated the kind of "step" parent I tried to be. It sounds like your giving the benefit of the doubt to your new addition. I don't think alot of people realize it's hard on everyone especially the kids. (Speaking of my hubbys ex.) My prayers go out to you and your children that things will be ok. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Dec 20th, 2006 3:37 AM |
| Thanks Lory:) That helps...... A LOT! i ahve a lot of support from my friends and family...they keep me going when the kids are gone. I hardly know what to do with my free time! LOL! I am so used to running my buns off before work and after work that I don't realize sometimes that i could use a break.....I am still a MOM though and will probably always worry about them:) ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Dec 28th, 2006 7:31 PM |
| Hey billy22! How's it going with you and your boys. I don't think it's time for them to be home yet. Was...just wondering if things are okay. Hopfully everyone's havin a good time! Just reading some posts thinkin about it. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Dec 28th, 2006 10:22 PM |
| Thankf for thinkin of me....I have really been struggling. They are fine and having fun. I just miss them and wonder if they really are having fun. They weren't gone 2 hours and called me! It was because they were excited about some Christmas gifts that they got from their Dad.....which was fine. The one thing that got me was that I have been on the outs with my father for over a year now and have told him he is no longer welcome in our lives. He is a drunken abuser and I don't have to put up with it any more....so what he did was go over to the ex's house and dropped off gifts for the boys(very expensive ones I might add) and gave them some sob story about missing the boys and how all he wants to do is see them....GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK! He has rarely been involved in my boy's lives since they were born! Now all of a sudden he wants to be? I think it was just his sick way of trying to get back at me because he HATES my ex! He wanted to kill him at one time and there was another time when he actually tried too! OMgoodness, this life of mine just seems to get better and better...GEEZ! Anyway, as long as the kids are okay, then I guess that's what matters. I just hope their Dad has good enough judgement to not leave the boys alone with him....EVER! ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Dec 29th, 2006 3:29 PM |
| Hi billy22! Sorry to hear about your dad! And no...you absolutely don't have to put up with that! My dad and step-mom are both drunks. Every time I go to see them they get drunk and bad mouth my mom. (they live about 50 miles from me) There were times when I had to tell my dad to keep his wife's big mouth shut. Or...I was gonna shut it for her! (you just don't talk about people's mamas.) LOL So...I don't really like to visit them any longer. Didn't want to subject Mikaela to that anymore! We talk on the phone every now and again. And..my dad always sends Mikaela b-day and Christamas gifts. Hey! Have a great New Year and I hope 2007 is better for us all!! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Dec 30th, 2006 3:32 PM |
Hi billy22---Everytime your children are away from you is always going to drive you nuts. It does me. I always miss them terribly but I keep in my they'll be back home soon. Yeah, for that one. I'm a zombie for the first couple of days, then I start getting gitty because it's close to the count down of them returning. That's your loving motherly instincts kicking in and trying to take control. Us females certainly have it rough, ya know???!!!
Anyways, I finally got to read your other post of your history. I am so sorry that you had to experience the things you did. Yet, you have risen yourself and seem to overcome everything quite well. Good for you!!! You will never be able to change your dad. He is, who he is. However, you are an adult and don't have to be subjected to his behavior anymore. So, if he wants to continue to put his digs in against you, let him. It still doesn't change the kind of person you truly are. Soon your children will be back in your arms and there's where all your energy can bubble out. Hang in there, there's only a few more days left. Oh, I can't remember if I wish you and your family a Happy Fresh NEW Year!!! ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Dec 30th, 2006 7:59 PM |
| Thanks Tweety, that made me feel a little better. Over the past 24 hours, I have been on and off the phone with the legal assistant of my attorney because their Dad had his phone disconnected the day after he picked the boys up! So next week, to start the new year off, we get to go to court! We are filing a contempt of court and harrassment charges against the new wife. I wish so bad they would just grow up and stop trying to get hurt me all the time. All they are doing is making it hard ont he boys. Anyway, jopfully things will get better soon. ↑ |
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