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| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 12:55 PM |
| Holy cow, Serina!! I am so sorry for you. This little Samantha is on the path of destruction. She is stealing things and then lying about them. She's 12 right? Well, she's old enough to know better. First, you need to come down hard on her. I mean take all kinds of fun priviledges away from her. She needs to realize that stealing & lying is very serious. However, going to court over all of this is seriousness in itself. Secondly, it might not be a bad idea to set up some counseling sessions for her. She has alot of issues going on inside of her and she's just confused on how to handle things. Plus, it might benefit you all when you go to court and explain that you have her in counseling because you recognized that there is a problem. You can check with your local youth bureau services for counselors that can help at no cost to you. Yes, her hormones are a part of attitude but she still knows the difference between right and wrong. It's her decisions that she's making that are wrong. She needs help, Serina. However, it doesn't sound like her mother gives two hoots about what her daughter does? This could be a contributing factor in her not making the right decisions. Her mom doesn't seem to care about her own actions so the daughter is misunderstanding that her mom doesn't care about what she does. She's at that age where she is trying to be older than what she really is and is trying to make an impression for herself. She doesn't realize that the kind of impression she's creating is something the general public view as appropriate. Believe, my 12 year old daughter attempts the same things. However, as a..... I guess you would call me "The Warden"....lack of a better word, will remove her from her "I'm all that" attitude by taking her priviledges away that she enjoys so much. As her mom, I can't be her friend, but I can be the adult that deserves respect when it comes to attitude and behavior. I explain to her everyday that what ever she does reflects upon me and hubby, so she needs to be keeping that in mind at all times. I explain to her that I don't act this way, therefore, I don't expect her, too. So, if the daughter took the cell phone, my guess is she's wanting one of her own. I'm sure she's asked for one but hasn't received one because you probably feel she's too young for one or would abuse the priviledges, right? Explain to her that if she wants things like that, she has to show a great deal of responsibility in order to receive them. Tell her responsibility, respect and good behavior will get far in life. Lashing out and misbehaving will only get her trouble. I'm sure you've all had these conversations but you need to keep repeating these things over and over and over. I don't know if any of my suggestions have helped but I certainly hope things will get better. She needs to be afraid of what she has done because with the parents pressing charges against her could remain on her record for a long time. Keep us posted on how things go. I wish you all well. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 2:09 PM |
| I had an hour talk with Samantha and asked her what kind of person she want to be and explained to her why everyone was so upset . I also explained the fear we have that she may be going down the wrong path and need to look at her life . I told her what could hapen to he if she went down the wrong road and what great life she wou.d have if she when down the right path. I explained that one mistake can be a great lession learned and that I will love her know matter what but I may not like the choices she makes or the words she uses.. ANd Now..... Holly cow I am so pevd! After have a long talk with Samantha and all ...wait I am getting a head of my self The x got a call from Samathas school counseld giving her condolances for the passing of the x's father...( he dies 5 yrs ago) So Samtha LIED again!!! Kid gloves off. She was sapose to baby sit for her uncle tonight and get paid ( i think family should not get charged!) Her Uncle that she sits for does all sorts of things for the kids and they invite all of us to parties and go bowling and she come too. They do not have much money and are stuggleing financially They are only gone for the max of 3 hours and it is almost always for a church gathering or class. I do think that they should pay her. I mean she just truned 13 yrs old and the kids go to bed 1 hr after she arrives. not much work.. I scot guarded her new white coat her aunt gave her and fixed a few of her tops...I do not think I will let her have these things un till she can prover her self. I am so mad now . I am glad she is not in front of me!!!! I mean what the heck! I swear I am at a lose of what to do now. I want to take everthing except the bed out of her room . If she can be a better person and herself she can earn items back ...I just am so mad GRRRRRRRRrr WE spend the weekend with the kids doing thing with them taking them to movies playing board games. Her & I spend one on one time together too. think she is acting out because of her mothers behavior but that was last month?? I have no clue right now!!! I am at such a loss of what to do with her!!! I still am not clear on the details of her telling the couselor at school. Apparentlty the X go a message from the counsleor giving condloances.and never actually spoke to her. SO the saga continues. Oh by th way she got 1 cell phone and she put it in the wash by mistake then she got another one and she had a fresh mouth with the x and she took it awayu from her. I hope hope the judge scears the crap out of her ! Tweety You always help!! Thank you so very much!!!!!!! OXOX Serina ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 4:58 AM |
| I'm sorry for you Serina. Since, Samantha is lying about little things, she is definitely trying to create some attention to herself. Perhaps pointing all the blame on her mother was my fault in thinking. It sounds like Samantha is trying despirately to get her way with you, her mom, school, etc.....I agree with you in hoping the judge lets her have it. A good scare might do her some good. However, her mother does need to take some of her priviledges away and you are in your right if you take some away, too. I always tell my kids that I'm not going to reward bad behavior and believe me when I say, I don't. Cross me once, shame on you, cross me twice, shame on me and I try not to let the second time happen. Perhaps the judge will pass along some community service for her to do. Like washing police cars or something. She needs to learn the lesson of what life a hard life is all about. No tv, no phone, no communication with friends only at school, no sports, no extra activities until she can prove to you all that she has learned how to be a responsible person. Gosh, it's hard to do all of this. You want your children to be happy and live a life of childhood with no worries but what Samantha is doing isn't very respectful to anyone including herself. Stand firm and hang in there. It is so difficult to try and make these kids to come around to our way of thinking. Yet, we have to keep trying and trying until something works best. Keep me posted and I hope you will get to the bottom of all this. XOXOXOX back at ya. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 12:39 AM |
| I had another long talk with Samantha and told her every week end we will be reading Life Stratagies forTeens By Jeff MC Graw ..Dr Phils son's book.She was not happy She doe not want to read it ( I do not know why) She can be a pain in the ass.But She has to read it and I am going to test her too.VERY unhappy too bad She has been getting into thing - stealing, lying ...as I have said .It stops now! It has to I hate to force her but at this point too dam bad for her! Samantha has to learn this! It is a life lession too important to let slide!!!! WE are staring next week. She also had the nerv to ask for a sleep over with 2 of her friends... Get realNot now not for a while. I do know that you know How I fee sep with re to your son but I do think you have it harder then Ido!!!..Did that make sense?? Oh well... I do think she may be trying to be a part of the "in " growd...or get more attention.. I do think she needs a one on one with her mother for sure . She told me her mother hated her and she wants her to move ot ...but that was when they were fighting . I explained that he mother hasmevery right to mad at he and to not trust her 2 moths of beeing "good" is not going to cut it she has to make her mind up once and for all what kind of person she want to be. No one can trust a person thaty keeps doing ..or makeinfgbad choices..I said like stealing...oh man she stared to cry ..Why did you have to say I stole some thing on and ion ..I finally said well cause you did! ....What else would you want be to say YOu were wrong and you know it and did it anyway.. I know you will do better but you have to earn trust back...thatis how it works,. Once youget it back the only way to keep it is to do the right thing ..I am not sayinfg be perfect fbut be better be the person that deservs respect! Tweety as always that you oh so much ...this is so trying for sure make me want to reach out and touch someone ...with a 2by 4 ...lol oh well Shewill learn 13 sucks!!! You are the greatest !! Serina ↑ |
