| Since you do not want this to be the rest of your life then you need to do some serious thinking about your own future. This child is only 7 years old. You have to ask yourself if you love his dad enough to put up with this for the next 11 years. Only you know the answer to this. I wish you luck in whichever you choose. ↑ |
When there is lack of communication between people things do become a problem. You are not at fault in any of this. However, if you do truly love your fiance, you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Explain to him that he needs to try very hard in building a good relationship with his own son despite what his ex wife thinks. 7 year olds are at a very impressionable age and he is probably seeking a great deal of love and support from his father. Even if it's the little things like being sick. I understand that your fiance has to work and does some hunting but it's his main responsibility to help explain things to his son. Your help compliments his efforts. Your fiance needs to take some time out for his son or he's going to his son down the wrong path to destruction. Kids do play on parents--two sides against the middle, only to get what they want. I, too, have a 14 year old son doing exactly that. Even though, he runs back and tells his dad things that are not true, his dad can't not change what I do inside my own home, no matter how much my son baulks at it. It's my house, my rules. Yes, you have a tough decision to make based on how you feel. Your son sounds like he's looking for attention from his father and is doing or lack of doing things only to get a rise out of him. You have to examine the relationship you do have with your fiance. Has he been willing to work things out with you during your 5 years together by communicating and work on problems together? Does he respect you the way you expect to be treated? Do you feel he loves you whole heartedly? He sounds like a good provider but does he manage things responsibly? Is he all about making money for material things or his hobbies? Does he help plan or easily go along with family gatherings? Is he willing to make more of an effort in spending time with his son? Does he spend time with you? Can you all sit down play games, cards or watch a movie together as a family? Do you all go out to dinner or a movie once in awhile? This are things you need to ask yourself. If you can answer these questions with a yes, then you need to talk with him about a solution with the 7 year old and your relationship. I'm sure he loves you dearly and perhaps he's lost sight of what's truly important to him in his life. Explain to him about what's important to you and what you are looking for out of your relationship to him and his son. Your seeking the respect straight across the board from both and there is nothing wrong with wanting it. It's family respect towards each other.
That's where my son is lacking. He has been so rude and inconsiderate to me and my hubby, that all special activities or rewards have stopped until he can behave properly. Yet, he is has his father filling his head full of b.s. and my son isn't seeing the truth it all.
I do hope things work out for you and please keep us posted as to how things are going. I'm sorry this is happening to you and I do hope this new year will bring you much happiness. ↑ |
| Thank you guys for the help and support. Things are the same, yet aggrivating. We are fighting now and He doesnt think that he needs to correct him. The step-son has been us two days this week (the days mt fiance is off) and he has not yet said one word to me. But I was in the wrong for telling the step son to wake up his dad b/c he was complaining of a belly ache. Hey He is not going to pick when and where it is convenient for him to speak to me-like only when he needs something. ↑ |
