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Have you fallen off the face of the earth or what? Where the heck are ya and how are ya? I miss ya!! ↓
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| Name: mini mouse | Date: Nov 21st, 2006 10:53 PM |
| Lizzi.... Hello I just happened to check in on the forum... I am okay. I hope you are well. I haven't had any visits from my daughter for about 4 weeks. I am kind of bummed. I do send cards and text messages but it is just not the same. I talked with her over the phone for about 4mins. I told her I want her to stay with me for 5 days over Christmas... she wasn't too thrilled with the my suggestion. So we will wait and see. She doesn't want me to force the issue but I am tired ... and I feel like I have waited a long time what is 5 days. So that is what is up with me You okay.??? ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 22nd, 2006 7:00 PM |
| Mini Mouse!!!! Hi! I'm so glad you came back around again!!! I'm just gearing up for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Me and my mom will be going over to my grandmas early to help her get everything ready for the family. We will probably be hitting Wal-mart tonight,that will be chaos i'm sure! I'm sorry about things with your daughter,what happened? I thought things were looking up?! Please fill me in if you would. I had to holler at ya,I've missed ya and didn't want you to think i've forgotten about you or anything! Please come back soon! :) And if you're not on before then,HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!! I hope you have a nice holiday!!!! :):):):):):):):):) ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Dec 30th, 2006 3:52 PM |
| Mini Mouse,you haven't been here in a long while,is something wrong? ↑ |
| Name: mini mouse | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 2:29 PM |
| Lizzi, Hello Just checked the forum...doing okay. Things going roller coastering well ...One second good next second all hell could break loose. My daughter was here for a couple of days at Christmas and am trying to get some normal schedule for 2007. She was over last night. I am shooting for every Thursday. Starting in Feb. I am shooting for every Thursday and every other weekend. We aren't holding our breath though. We have great times when we are together and then when she goes home she becomes somebody else. I guess this is just how she protects herself from being hurt. I talk with her and love her and tell her I want relationship, and the only way we can do that is by spending time together. I really try to make our time valuable. So I am just trying to peel back the layers on all the emotions she stuffs and get her to talk. Thanks for thinking about me and I hope your Holidays were wonderful... You doing ok? Let me know . I will check in. Miss talking to you too....Mini Mouse ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 3:22 PM |
| Hi mini mouse,glad you stopped in finally!!!! I'm really proud of you for hanging in there and not giving up! I hope you can get your daughter to be more open and honest with you. It's a good sign that things go well when you're together though! :) What I'm wondering though is why she changes when she goes back home and that is what you need to find out from her. The next time she is with you,ask her why she changes when she is not with you after you have just been together and things went so well. Tell her you can't help unless you know how she really feels and what's going on. Perhaps she would really like to be living with you fulltime but is afraid it would be impossible to make that happen because of her dad,but it's really what she wants? Keep working on her to talk to you,I think eventually she will tell you what it is that's got her bothered. Please keep me posted and DON"T be a stranger,o.k.? Take care! ↑ |
| Name: mini mouse | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 2:34 AM |
| Lizzi, Thanks for your response girl. Yeah, I am thinking you are probably not to far off on your thoughts with my daughter and her true feelings. Boy , sometimes it would be easier if I could just read her mind. But then I probably couldn't handle that could I . I will keep you posted okay. Talk to you later. Mini Mouse ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 4:33 AM |
| mini mouse,yeah,your not kidding! I wish I could read my sons mind too! He's usually pretty good about talking to me about things but not always. Sometimes I find out things through the grapevine. In fact I just got a bomb dropped on me recently. His cousin who is in the same grade as he is,(sophmore),tends to rebel quite a bit and do things she shouldn't. Well,she had written a note to my son talking about how much she hates her life and that she could really use a cigarette and some liquor! So i found the note in my sons room and informed my aunt of what her daughter was up to. Well,come to find out her daughter informed her mom that MY SON and her and some of their friends were passing around a cigarette at a h.s. football game!!!! At first i told my aunt,no way,not MY son,he wouldn't do that,maybe he was just there. So I got off the phone and took a deep breath and went in to tallk to my son. I told him I had something to ask him about and I wanted the truth. I asked him if he was smoking at the football game and he told me YES!!!! I was in schock!!! My heart sank and I just started bawling!!! I asked him if this was a regular thing for him and he swore to me that it wasn't and that that was the one and only time and that he didn't like it and would never do it again. I asked him why he did it and he said it was peer pressure. That worries the hell out of me because I think what happens when he is 'peer pressured" into doing a drug or taking a drink? I want to trust my son but am scared because I didn't know he had tried smoking,he kept that from me until i found out another way and confronted him about it. I do feel i have to give him credit for being honest with me though when i asked him you know? He gets extremely good grades and really is a good kid. We talked about it for awhile and for now at least i am choosing to trust him but keeping a better eye and ear open. It broke my heart to find that out though,i tell ya! I did far worse things by his age than just smoking a cigarette so i feel i can't come down on him too hard but yet i know i have to take a stand that my parents didn't with me and let him know these things won't be tolerated. ↑ |
| Name: dragraught | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 4:32 PM |
| hi i just wanted to thank u for ur advice. maybe my mom can get on somtime and talk to u. dragraught ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 5:23 PM |
| Hi Lizzi---You did the right thing, you talked with your son. Good communication is the best thing you can do. Plus, like you said, he came right out and was completely honest with ya. That is very commendable. Hopefully, the curiosity on drugs won't be like the cigs. I know when I was in my much younger years, I refused to do drugs when I was asked because I didn't want to become hooked and dependent on them. Perhaps your son will realize that one when he's asked about them. As for the alcohol, I think almost every kid tries it. Hopefully, your son will make the right choice about that, too. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 5:31 PM |
| Dear Mini Mouse---I've missed ya! Sorry things with your daughter are on a slow burn. Peeling back the layers is hard to do. I know when I was a teenager, I kept everything bottled up inside. I refused to let anyone get close to me because I didn't want to get hurt. Sadly, I'm still like that now. I rarely trust anyone. Oh, I can chit chat and carry on some good conversations but my true honest feelings remained covered so I can't allow anyone to hurt me. It wasn't until my husband now, that I've finally been able to open up. Even that is a little at a time. He senses greatly on how much I keep myself well protected. Yet, your daughter is not seeing your support just yet. She will, she just has to feel for herself that she can trust you. Please, I'm not saying you did anything wrong, it just something she's trying to work out for herself. Her character is still building a strong foundation for her to stand on her own two feet. That's going to take some time. Patience is all you can offer her for now. Just communicating with her is a great plus. Well, I feel for you and how your heart mends soon. You take care, happy belated holidays to you and your family with great love. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 5:32 PM |
| Sorry---I meant I hope your heart mends soon!! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 6:56 PM |
| Tweetybird4, as of now,Curtis is totally against alcohol and drugs because he has seen what they can do to a person by watching (and I hate to admit this) his own father. Curtis views it as a total waste of life and money. He sees it that way clearly on his own so I'm kinda glad in a way that he has experienced the consequences of those things through someone so close to him. Because i think maybe seeing it for himself and living with it has really steered him away from it mentally so0 in a way living with itthrough his da has somewhat been a good thing,(if you can make since of that?) I'm still bothered by the cigarette though. Why the hell did he do it? Why? His dad smokes,so it's not like he's not been around it. He knows it's just as worthless of a habit as drugs and alcohol. He has even admitted to me in the past that he has said "No" and walked away before when offered a cigarette,so why did he cave in THIS time?! Do you think it had something to do with his cousin being a part of it? ↑ |
| Name: mini mouse | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 7:56 PM |
| Lizzi... Well... I don't know what to say about your son but at least he is talking to you now about it. He may have buckled easier because of the cousin but he could have just done it to say he did it. Hang in there with them this may just open him up to share other things with you . At least your communication lines are open. Chalk it up as an experience and hopefully the taste of it will linger bitterly in his mouth...he knows you care. ↑ |
| Name: mini mouse | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 8:04 PM |
| Tweetybird...Thanks for the nice words. I know what you mean about trusting...I came out of a hurtful past and did a lot of the same things you have mentioned and keeping people at an arms length to protect myself is something I learned to do a long time ago. I am learning so much too with my husband now...he is teaching me to trust again. I will be patient ... I love her so much and even though things aren't where I would like them to be at least there are baby steps being taken. Thanks again and hope your holiday's were good as well. Mini Mouse ↑ |
| Name: mini mouse | Date: Jan 6th, 2007 8:08 PM |
| dragraught...Hey thanks for your reply . I would love to talk to your mom...If you need to vent we are here for you...Thanks Smile....Have a good day dragraught...Mini Mouse ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 3:11 AM |
| Hey Lizzi---Yes, his cousin could have something to do with it. Trying to fit in, be cool or even an attempt to impress a girl. Tell him----speaking from experience, that a girl doesn't like kissing an ash tray. My parents have smoked all my life. When I was 17, I did it as a social thing with friends. We all would buy a pack of cigs and split them with everyone. At the end of the night, the things would end up in the garbage. It was a phase and it didn't last long for me because I did quit. So, it could just be a phase of trying to act cool. However, if a girlfriend happens to tell him how much she can't stand cigs, he'll probably stay clear of them. I hope this is the case. He's a good kid, you should be very proud. You have been doing your homework. I wouldn't worry too much about it because I don't think he'll make it a habit. Plus, when he saw cry, he sounds like he has a weak spot for you and to see you hurt like that probably upset him, too. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 3:14 AM |
| Mini Mouse, you are welcome anytime. We seem to have alot in commen...you and I. At least your trying to break the cycle of what you went through by helping your daughter anyway you know how. Your love and patience will be greatly rewarded!!! ↑ |
| Name: dragraught | Date: Jan 17th, 2007 1:45 AM |
| hey write to me and i will have my mom type on my page. its called dont know what to do. ↑ |
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