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Name: Candied_yams
[ Original Post ]
My husband and I met two months before we were married. I have to admit we both have codependency problems. I believe thats why it happen so fast. I was in to church alot at the beginning at now I'm not. I was so tired of constantly having to prove myself but even when I would he would push away the facts so he could believe what he wanted. I felt like more of a bother to him. It seemed as if he looked at me with disgust 5 days out of the week. He has even roughed me up on 3 different occasions. Grabbing my hair or shirt and throwing me down. I moved out several times, last time I made my mind up that I wasn't leaving and I stayed until he eventually told me to leave. I would stay depressed around him. He would make an amazing husband to someone one but I dont think im that someone. So this last break up I went file for divorce and I started seeing a guy and we had sex. I swore I wouldn't go back but now he's saying how much he changed and how much he wants to be married because all his life he wanted to be married once. So I went over to lay it out on the table that I had sex and with that info he could decide if he wanted to work it out still. When I did things got way out of hand and he literlly threw me out house down the stairs. I knocked the window out of the peak whole of the door and he ultimately began chasing me around the yard and hitting and kicking me. I started going out with my girlfriends and enjoying the company of new friends, which I never really did either even before I was married. My concern is that I let him go and he'll actually have changed and I would miss out on a good man, he would cook and clean and do almost anything I asked but he had his mean side too. But right now I feel so relieved and free to be away from the drama even though its hard for me to think of not having someone to hold me when i need. Or to be alone for God knows how long before I find what I think I deserve. I love him, but I'm not in love with him becasue of all that we went through. I don't want to be one of the "crazy girls" who goes back to an abusive husband. If he didnt have anger issues he wouldnt be bad. I dont know if its to work on it or not. I want to be with im but I think at this point i'm more interested in my new friend and the single life. I know i cant have both so im trying to think of whats best for the long run. He's not the cheating type or anything. I'm so confused. Some one help me make sense of it all. We dont have any kids together and we have been married for a year and a half, living together for probably half the time.
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Name: wanttobesingle | Date: Jul 31st, 2011 3:08 PM
Just stay away from him... Really... He will alway be abusive. It always starts out with a push and gets worse from there. If you feel so good being away from him, then stay away. You'll find someone else when the time is right. Just enjoy being single right now. He says he'll change and be the perfect husband? Ummm... that's bull. Maybe for a couple months, but it'll all go back to the same thing. And he will always remember that you had sex with someone else and hold it against you. Please don't go back to him!!! 

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