| Name: lisasing | Date: Jun 19th, 2008 9:51 AM |
| Single moms and dads, if you are tired of being single parent and no where to meet the right one . Try our site today! http://www.singleparentloving.com Blogs, Forums, Live chats, and lots of hot photo galleries! Free join! Meet your soulmatch in your area ! ↑ |
| Name: Mz. What it Iz • | Date: Jun 20th, 2008 5:43 AM |
I married my happy ending sundae when I was thirty eight. Waited a long time to marry. Life together was delightful. Worked hard , paid our bills on time. Played hard. Then one day the man says he no longer is in love with me and that marriage is not for him. Ten years. Extinguished. He just flipped a switch. We tried to stay together for another year. I thought I was living with a stranger. Where did my man go. Deep inside himself and so negative. I'm better off without him now. We literally had the brass ring. Everything a happily wedded couple can have and more. ...I feel for him. After all we were great friend, passionate lovers, dedicated people until he took up with other women. I don't know what what eats them up inside when they turn fifty plus years old. Thank goodness I found this sight. Many topics here sure do help a lady in distress. I am blessed to have wonder family and friends. Counseling helps and working keeps us busy. Eat right. Rest. Hydrate. Exercise. Take care of you.
The tears I cry are for my lost estranged and hurting hubby. Lord only knows why he's let everything go. Every thing.!! Me, the house, the pet, our families, His job. The insurances, the hobbies, the fun, the down and dirty times. This doesn't seem like a mid life crisis. This looks to me like he has shunned all responsibility. Very depressed. I I have no idea where he is at at this stage in our lives. I filed for divorce. Now he can deal with the system. Freedom is definatlly not Free. ↑ |
| Name: Trowng | Date: Jun 30th, 2008 4:24 PM |
I am 45 years old now, i have two kids 14 year old girl, and 13 year old boy, they are both living with their mom, after 5 years terrifier of divorce, i am in fear to live alone, i could not find my new partner yet, i am really need someone to share things in rest of my life, can someone give a suggestions?????
Thank a bunch ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 3:17 PM |
| I am having a hard time reading all these posts. All of you are asking what does it mean, that my husband isn't having sex with me? What does it mean that he said he isn't in love with me anymore? What does it mean that he moved out? Really now. Do you all need a brick house to fall on your heads. It means just that. He isn't having sex with you because he is having it with someone else. Not only is he having sex with someone else, but he has fallen in love with someone else. Enter the "i love you, but am not in love with you speech". He left the house-not on a whim. Trust me he has been thinking about this for years or months. Let the men go ladies for crying out loud. Why do you want someone who tells you that they don't love you? Grab some self esteem, pick yourselves up and understand that you are no longer meant to be together. Stop obsessing that they'll come back. They left you long before they actually left your house. I am speaking from immeasurable experience, and just save yourself the heart ache of wondering, what if, will he come back. Deal with facts. Your husband left because he was unhappy. He loves another woman. That is the end. Get on with your lives please. ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 3:22 PM |
| A mid life crisis is an excuse that woman use when their husbands leave them. Did it ever occur to you that it happens around age 40 that men leave, because they are finally there own person and have the guts to live for themselves. They look around at their life and hate it. It isn't a crisis. It's just them not wanting to live a charade anymore. ↑ |
| Name: reality check | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 3:31 PM |
| I was the "other woman". The whore that broke up an 11 year marriage with two kids. We met at work-all the cliches rolled into one. But you know what ladies? It wasn't a cliche at all. We met, feel in love and struggled for 2 years to decide what to do. He couldn't prentend anymore in his marriage, and he left his wife because of our love. I know you don't like hearing it, but sometimes men actually do meet their soul mates when they are married to someone else. Once you love like that you can't ignore your feelings. His wife knew he was disconnected, unhappy and sad-but she couldn't accept why. They divorced and me and we have now been together for 30 years. So was it a mid life crisis? Hardly. Was he a jerk? No-cause he struggled for 2 years to leave her. We are soul mates and sometimes believe it or not the "other woman" isn't just a whore. She is the woman that your husband was meant to be with. Deal with it. ↑ |
| Name: Amanda L | Date: Jul 7th, 2008 3:27 PM |
| Just found out the same thing- married for 6 years together for 12, and he doesnt know what he wants anymore. Just found out he is seeing someone else although he denies there is anything going on-Is this a mid-life crisis? Is there a future for us- I love him dearly and was totally devastated by his statement of indifference to me ↑ |
| Name: youlover | Date: Jul 9th, 2008 8:11 AM |
| www.singleparentloving.com ******A single parent on-line dating community geared to single parents needs, information, and discussions combined with the largest single parenting social club . Free join ! meet your soulmatch in your area ! ↑ |
| Name: jessica | Date: Jul 14th, 2008 2:41 AM |
Hi I have been married for 3 years. My husband is a bossy and a controlling man he treats me as if he is my father .
1st year of marriage He used to talk bad about my brother.
Now I talk bad about his mom but I have my own reasons, because his mom whenever she visits us she makes a mass in my house. I feel my husband doesn't love me as he used to be. I asked him if you still love he told me yes I love you but the way he told me I felt he was'nt telling me the truth , he just didn't want me to be heartbroken. My husband has lots of pictures of his ex he was ready to get rid of them the 1st year of our marriage ,I told him it's ok keep them memories but now after I felt he doesn't love me any more I asked him to get rid of his old ex-pictures he told me he wants to make sure of our relation ship he doesnt want to get rid of them now I think he never wants to get rid of them he is just trying to fing an excuse.
pls help me tell me if he love me or not ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Jul 16th, 2008 10:26 PM |
| Jessica, sorry to hear you are going through this. I can't answer if your husband loves you or not. I can only tell you to look into your own heart. Your gut knows the answer. Listen to your inner voice. I believe that if you have to question your husbands love than he may not. You can tell when a man loves you, by how he looks at you, touches you, kisses you and takes care of you. ↑ |
| Name: Over It! | Date: Jul 19th, 2008 9:36 PM |
| Clarity: Thank you for giving it straight. You ladies have GOT to hear my story. I met my husband when I was fifteen years old and one year into our relationship he was arrested. I waited by his side for eleven years, visiting him in prison every single weekend and married him in the system at age twenty despite my family and friends pleas against it. He has been home for two years now, and it has been a nightmare. After all that time waiting for him, all he wanted to do was party with his friends and leave me at home. I have been through two miscarriages and gained sixty pounds from the pregnancies and the depression in our marriage. Last night, my husband told me for the third time since he's been home that he "loves me but is not in love with me". He told me that I am his best friend but he doesn't think he will ever see me as more than a friend. After telling me this the last two times, he tried to take it back and apologized, swearing that he didn't mean what he said. As a Christian, the idea of divorce frightens me. The truth is, I can't mentally take this abuse anymore and it is time for me to move on with my life. At 29, I have experienced more heartache than a lifetime should hold and for the first time in my life, I refuse to be a victim. I am going to talk to him this afternoon and let him know that we are in this marriage together and if he wants it to end, it's over. I deserve better than this. ↑ |
| Name: tylerbrie | Date: Jul 20th, 2008 2:59 PM |
| Same situation here. Although I have a different perspective because this is my second marriage, and I was the one to leave the first one, so I feel like the tables are turned on me. There are a multitude of reasons that people lose hope in a marriage. Some can be fixed. Some cannot. I am a Christian, and I believe in miracles. But miracles are rare, that's what makes them so special. We live in a world made up of broken people; so be strong, live fully, never forget your worth. There is something to learn from every struggle in life. Spend some time thinking how this can make you a better person rather than beating yourself or your partner up and move on. Keep your friends close by. ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Jul 20th, 2008 3:50 PM |
| Hey Over it! How did it go???! ↑ |
| Name: Over It! | Date: Jul 21st, 2008 3:30 AM |
| Thanks for asking Clarity! It is definitely harder than I thought, that's for sure. Where is that self-esteem you were talking about?? I could use a lot of that right about now!! I feel like an emotional wreck and my heart struggles between wanting to cry and beg him to stay, and the anger and rage I feel when I want to tell him to leave and never come back. I told him I wanted to make our marriage work but he refuses to go to counseling and says he will probably move out within the next month. I am starting to realize that his reason for wanting to leave is more than sexual attraction. He says he doesn't feel respected and feels trapped a lot of the time. I am going to let him go if he walks away - but if he wants this to work, I am all for it. I like how you told Jessica that "you can tell when a man loves you, by how he looks at you, touches you, kisses you and takes care of you." My husband takes care of me, but the rest is lacking. I'll keep you posted. ↑ |
| Name: lisasing | Date: Jul 21st, 2008 3:43 PM |
| Hey.. You can totally try to having another life ! I know there so many good guys seeking their soulmatch on the largest single parents club www.singleparentloving.com .maybe you can have a try there ! ↑ |
| Name: grenadine | Date: Aug 10th, 2008 4:13 AM |
| go to a marriage counselor or some one you both trust for advise. If he really doesn't love you and will not try, why would you want the heartache? ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Aug 11th, 2008 11:39 PM |
| To pissed off. Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't wait for your husband to call the shots. Tell him what you need from him and from the marriage. Don't settle for the way he is treating you. I know you love your husband, but remember to always treat yourself with respect. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't want the marriage, or treats you bad, then give both of you some breathing space. I know it is hard, but don't beg him-he will think you are giving him permission to treat you badly. You deserve more than this. Don't EVER forget that! ↑ |
| Name: pissed off | Date: Aug 11th, 2008 11:52 PM |
| Thanks for the advice Clrity and I know you right its just doing it, I do Love my husband with all of me, i am just scared if i give him that space he won't come back and that is whats killing me. ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Aug 12th, 2008 2:56 AM |
| Pissed off-that would be scary I know. Or he might realize he has been foolish and miss you so much, and treasure you. You never know what could happen. Whatever is meant to happen will happen anyway. You can however choose to be strong and keep your head held high. You can take whatever life throws at you! ↑ |
| Name: Pissed off | Date: Aug 12th, 2008 9:44 PM |
Again, thanks Clarity. Yesterday was a good day for us, i felt really close yesterday to my husband, we spent time together and it was all good. Now today on the other hadn i don't won't know until i get home from work. His moods change all the time, one day its all good and then the next day he is so cold and mean towards me i can just feel it. So we'll see what happends today.
But hinestly i am scared to death to leave him, even though I know its what i need to do. ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 3:34 AM |
| Pissed off-you'll do what you need to do in your own time. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Be strong. ↑ |
| Name: pissed off | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 3:19 PM |
| Thanks Clarity, I know I will. ↑ |
| Name: Clarity | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 5:44 PM |
| We went out last Friday and had a good time, in the beginning and all of the sudden my husband started trippen but don't know why. During the night i asked him for a kiss and he said no with this mean look on his face, and i didn't know why. Anyways we got into an argument but he initiated it, and it ended up with me taking all of my things and leaving before he got home. I went to a motel and i called him so he talk to his daughter and he talks to her and then i get on the phone and her tells me we are done, i don't want to be with you no more, we are finished, i will take care of our daughter but you and me are done, don't come back over here no more. I say no we're not don't just throw away our marriage and he hangs up. I call back and he tells his sister to not answer the phone so i leave it alone. Then his sister calls the room phone and i talk to her for a minute and then my husband gets on and he says we are done, finished and i said no we're not and he goes then thats you but we are done, you can stay here at my sisters until the end of the month but i will be gone to my uncles, when you come i will be gone and then he says i will talk to you tomorrow. But he calls back 5 minutes later and says come pick me up so i do and then we get back to the room and barely talk and then the next morning he says lets go home. What the hell was that? ↑ |
| Name: pissed off | Date: Aug 13th, 2008 11:24 PM |
| the last comment i posted at 08/13/2008 13:44:13, i forgot i already posted it, but anyways is that mixed messages or what, you say were done and you take us back home, now what? ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 4:06 PM |
| Pissed off, your husband sounds very confused. Unfortunately he is driving you nuts and you don't know what he'll do next. What do you want? Do you think he will go talk to someone to help him make sense of all of this? ↑ |
| Name: the other woman | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 4:08 PM |
| Pissed off, sounds like your husband is confused because he has perhaps a girlfriend on the side. Sounds like he is afraid of leaving the marriage, but has someone waiting for him. I would suggest a heart to heart. Don't accuse him, just have a conversation and be prepared for what he may say. ↑ |
| Name: pissed off | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 7:39 PM |
| I want to stay with my husband and work things out. I know he is confused and I KNOW he is not seeing anyone else, we talked about that alredy and I beleive him when he says he is not cheating. ↑ |
| Name: pisssed off | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 7:41 PM |
| Clarity i want to work things out that's why i am still here. i know my husband loves me he is just going through something right now. i do know he will not talk anyone though. ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 10:37 PM |
| Just because your husband says he isn't cheating doesn't mean he isn't. when my husband left he vehemently denied there was someone else. he swore up and down and seemed so sincere, i felt like an ass even thinking of it. imagine my surprise when i found out he was not only seeing someone else, but was in love with her, moved in with her and they became engaged 2 years after he left me. sometimes the husband doesn't want to inflict that much hurt. don't believe it just because he says it. ↑ |
| Name: pissed ogg | Date: Aug 14th, 2008 11:13 PM |
| You right Lucie, i need to chek into that. ↑ |
| Name: clarity | Date: Aug 15th, 2008 2:24 AM |
| that happened to me too lucie. he swore up and down that there was no one else. he thought i couldn't take it and he lied. imagine how disrespected i felt when i found out the truth. sometimes they don't tell because they lack courage. ↑ |
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