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I met my partner 10 years ago when we were 16 but we never became boyfriend and girlfriend even though we both had strong feelings for each other. When i moved back into the area I got back in touch with him and we started talking. He was in a 9 year relationship and was getting married. Well they married and we stayed in touch, but he left his wife just before their first baby was born. We have been together for 6 months and I will probably get lots of harsh critisism but Im finding it very difficult to accept the wife. Yes I love the fact that he can see his little boy and myself and my two boys see him too. Its just...am I jealous. They are still very close and they say they arethe best of friends. They text and email all the time and I find it very hard. I guess I am being unreasonable...I just dont know how to approach the subject with my partner. Ive asked him before not to discuss ourrelationship with the wife, but he refuses saying she is the only friend he has. The wife keeps making the comment that no matter what happens they are still married. What do I do? ↓
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| Name: winnmom | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 4:28 PM |
| if he is Married, it is up to YOU to step a side, NOT his wife, ... you are the inteference not HER!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Jemima | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 4:40 PM |
| Hes living with me. Has been for 6 months now. Hes not living with the wife anymore. Dont be so hostile. I only wanted advice not a slanging match! ↑ |
| Name: girly29 | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 5:40 PM |
| Jemima...I would ask him to stop all the unneccesary texting and e-mails because it makes you feel uncomfortable...I dont think he should have that much contact with the ex wife.......I understand he has a child with his wife but they shouldnt have that much contact....How often do they contact one another? ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 6:54 PM |
| You need to leave the (relationship) you don't even seem to have. I mean he has told you outright that SHE (not you) is the ONLY friend he has so what does that tell you?And he is still MARRIED TO HER!!!!!!!!! HELLO? DID YOU HEAR ME? HE IS MARRIED TO HER!!!!!!! Do yourself a favor and find someone who ISN"T married and sees YOU as his BEST FRIEND!!!!!!! You are short changing yourself,STOP IT!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 10:42 PM |
Until he is divorced, he is married to HER!
If he is discussing your relationship with her-his wife, and she-his wife, is his only friend, you NEED to step aside. He has not even cleaned up his baggage. YOU will be the one hurt. Get out and find a nice SINGLE guy.If he still talks to her about perdonal things there relationship is not done, it is not over. If they are over, then he needs to treat YOU with more respect. Tell him to make a choice, and dont back down, . If you really want this, stand up for yourself. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Sep 20th, 2006 10:50 PM |
and what his wife says is true "no matter what happens they are still married"
This whole situation sets of warning bells.
* this isnt hostility it is HONESTY] ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 21st, 2006 10:29 PM |
| Name: Jemima | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 12:25 PM |
| They text quite alot. He sees his little boy often which I think is fantastic. He doesnt have any other friends, well there is a male friend but he doesnt really discuss things with him. He talks to me alot BUT he does talk to the wife too. He says hes just trying to keep herhappy so he gets to see his son and they havent got any hostilities towards each other. He says he doesnt understand the problem I have with him talking to her all the time. He keeps telling me he wants it to work with me and that its me that he wants to be with. I think he seriously doesnt understand what it is he is doing to me. He thinks that having an emotional relationship with his separated wife is ok and that he can have both of us in his lives. ↑ |
| Name: Jemima | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 12:26 PM |
| Sorry for being defensive before...British emotions I guess!!! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 1:52 PM |
| Well eventually he will make a permanent choice and don't be surprised if you're left out in the cold. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Sep 22nd, 2006 10:28 PM |
I understand the defense Jemima, But we are only being honest with you. I truley believe that you will be the one to get hurt.
He can have a relationship with his son, and be civil with his wife, there is no need for a relationship between him and his wife if they are really over.
I seriously think that you should get out of this relationship. You really do not belong there.
I stand behind everything Lizzie and I have already written, so I will not re-write it all again.
* BE GOOD TO YOURSELF* ↑ |
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