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So the boys just arrived home from a visit with their Dad and when they got home things were okay. My youngest had taken his book for the weekend to read that he is to do a book report on. Oh, let's back up a bit first....they also arrived home each with a coffee from the coffee shop! My kids are not allowed to drink caffeine and their Dad knows that and I feel like this was an intentional thing he did! Anyway, so my youngest's book report was done. It had all been typed up in outline form and then all typed up on another page....at the bottom it was signed"lovingly typed by ..."with a little heart and her name! Tell me that was not intentional! Am I worng for feeling jabbed at once again? This has got to stop! I am so sick of being harrassed and now it is in a passive aggressive way! It's always her. Last weekend she took pics of her and the boys and their Dad with my father and step mother(whom I am on the outs with) and then sent them home with the boys! COME ON! When does it stop?! ↓
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| Name: Lory | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 4:40 AM |
| Hey! It does sound like she's trying to intentionally push your buttons!! I'm feeling offended with you! I think I signed a card once. She ripped it to pieces and sent it back w/6 yr. old. I have never signed another card again. I would just "tell" them happy b-day or whatever holiday it was. And, give them their gifts. I didn't want the babies to be put in the middle like that again! Here's something I didn't find too humerous at the time, but now LMAO about. (Showing how silly or crazy x is) She sent an old snapshot of hubbys naked, bare bum to us one year inside a b-day card to him. Also inside the card was a $1. The card read "NICE A**HOLE!" She's original!! Oh girl, you don't know how many times I've wanted to meet her in a dark alley and take care of business. (if this happens I didn't do it!!) LOL I've got many more...hubby dropped off kids on Easter w/their baskets one year. She sent them back to the car (I was not there) with the silly colored grass that came in them to give to hubby. Saying "I don't want that shi* in my house!! Just the grass!! lol I could go on with the ridiculous things. I guess my point here is...you just keep doing what your doing for your boys. Easier said than done, but...don't let her get to you! I'm hoping your laughing with me at this point! Or at least smiling??? I'm not in your shoes but I'm feeling it! Just keep doing what you feel is right in your heart! I'm praying for all of us too! Take Care! ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 11:28 PM |
| LOL! That was pretty good. Thanks Lory. I'm all about her helping the boys and loving them, but not in such a way she feels like she has to rub it in my face......BUT, that's what young people do at that age. She is much younger than all of us and I am thinking my X is starting to get a bit fed up himself. Anyway, thanks:) ↑ |
| Name: help4u | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 1:15 AM |
Billy22 she seems to succeed in getting you pissed, thats all she wanted, no your not wrong for feeling jabbed at as you stated but lory is right you will just have to be cool and blow some of it off. The coffee thing was very stupid on his part, childish to want them coming home to you all hyped up on caffine. I seem to sence some jealousy that they are together.
Are you involved with someone now if so does he do things with the boys? maybe she just wants to show you that they are good to them while they visit, and she is too stupid to realize it bumms you out. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 1:35 AM |
| billy22, just trying to make you laugh. Wasn't trying to offend. II wish nothing but the best for all of you. Have a great week! Chat w/ya sometime! ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:21 AM |
| I am FAR from being jealous of their "togetherness". I am married and have been with my hubby for 5 years and my ex and I have been divorced for over 6 years.....I wish I could explain and get the point accross to everyone about the crappola those two have been putting us through for the past year and a half. They just got married in November and have been together for a year and a half, ex hasn't ever had a problem communicating w/ my hubby and I about the kids until she came along and now we aren't even allowed to speak. She runs interference every time! ↑ |
| Name: help4u | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:51 AM |
| Well then this is just her, ....oic ........ your still going to have to be strong don't let her get to ya she's not worth that....maybe some day she will grow up or he will get sick of it and she will be an x too. After all a year and a half hasn't been enough time for him to get sick of her. never know ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 4:04 PM |
| If she gets along with your kids and treats them well then leave it alone. If she was mean to them and they came home to you crying about it then you would have a real problem on your hands,but as long as that's not the case then I'd leave things be. And as far as the book report goes,at least she cared enough to see it got done properly and nicely! Things could be far more worse so you should appreciate the fact that they have another caring person in their lives. So you may think some things she does are to purely irritate you,well,maybe,maybe not! But be glad she is good to your kids as that is truly what matters here and nothing else. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 5:02 PM |
HI Billy
I am comingat this from the step mom angelk ...since I am one. SO here goes,
BAsed opn just what I see here. I would do the same thing. Not to be mean to the mom but juts for the kids...including ht e heart .
I would do this because Ilove the kids..not indending to hurt the x not at all. I would think she would want me to and be happy that I do loving things for the kids.
That being said....
I know my step kid always want to take photos of the family home with them..maybe she was trying to be nice to them and not thinking how you would feel.
Just so you know I tell them that these are to stay home with us. I do give them photos of themself..well Iuse to untill the x & I and a falling out about my wedding photos...
I think that giving them coffee is nutz! I mean I do not even want them to have soad or gaderaid ( atually melts kids teeth) .
I told Samantha she can not have coff here .Now Her mother gives it to her everyday.I think now because I do not want her to have it but hey I am only the step mom. But she still cannot have it here. Oh do you think he would really remember what you want ...My dear hubby for gets things all the time..But you know the x better then I do
I do think that when someone has hurt you, is mean to you ..rude and so on ..it is hard to see a loving act from them to the kids or any one ... it comes with a nasty under toe.To you I think .if you know what I mean.
I remeber Samantha cane over and her top plunged below her bra..I fix it and the x got mad..SHe wanted me to ask her first.
What is ther to ask about your nnow 13 year ould chile is displaying her boday for the world to see looking like a 20 yr old.
So now the rule is if I see a top to low she has to take it off and not bring it here anymore or I will pitch it out.! 1 waring and gone it goes.
MAy be you all should have a sit down his new wife may not have a clue how she is coming off to you . Sit be as sweet as pie (I know vomit! been there done that) Tell then your expectaions what you do not want the kids to have . A;so I would make it clear that they are not to visit your parents ...It is a direct offence for sure.
His x is now going to my brother & sister inlaws church and she goes over there house after words...She lives about 3 to 45 min away from that church . They invited Samantha only and she came along and is now back in the family. SOOO messed up for sure.
Well I do hope I helpped some very best of luck !
Serina ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 10:01 PM |
| I, too, don't feel your wrong one bit. Perhaps the ex's wife is jealous of you. She's desparately trying to play mommy to your boys and win them over. Don't fall for her b.s. She's only doing all of this to get a rise out of you. Serina left you some good advice. I just love that woman.....lots of wisdom. You have to try for your own sanity to let the small petty things go. I don't mean to offend you by what I said but don't worry too much about these little things she does. It's the major things that you do that the kids will remember. She is trying to worm her mark in their social lives. Don't let the children see how upset you get by all of this. You don't want to speaking about upset you get to your ex because if they do get wind of it, they will keep doing it. Just keep on smiling, even though your hurting inside. Try to pretend that anything the two do doesn't affect you and you could careless what they do, as long as your children are taken care of. However, if there is something they are not allowed to have, you have every right to voice your opinion. Whether it does any good or not, it just shows how more concerned you are for their well being. I'm sorry if anything I've said hasn't helped. Believe, I'm walking in your shoes, too. I've been doing this for 3 years now and it doesn't seem like it will ever change. I used to climb into my ex's ass for something stupid he did but I've refrained from it. It didn't get me anywhere. Now, he sits back puzzled as to why I don't respond when he truly does something stupid. Although, when he left my daughter standing on the street corner for 45 mins. after the movie was over at the show, I was truly ticked off and said something to him. One, she could have gotten in trouble with the police because there is a 10pm curfew in town. Two, some ignorant maniac could have grabbed her and her friend and fled the country. All because he was too lazy to pick her up on time. Of course, after I said something to him, he got ticked off at my daughter for saying anything to me about it. However, she wasn't the one, who told me. It was the mother of her friend. So, he's not scoring any brownie points with any of my kid's friends parents. His true colors are shining and everyone is starting to see what a complete jerk, he truly is. The same will go for you. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 10:19 PM |
| I know for a fact she isn't doing things because she cares for my kids. She and my ex all but begged us to only have one boy at a time every other weekend during the summer because they couldn't handle them together! Then to make matters worse, my oldest came home upset one day, as he has many other times, saying that he didn't want to go back because he is sick of her always yelling and screaming at him. He then told of a couple incidents where she actually called him some pretty bad swear words and then grabbed him by the face and another time by the neck. His father was wittness to one of these incidents and still chose to leave her alone with my son adn then it happened again. When I confronted her about it, she got angry, called my son a liar and said he was no longer welcome in her house until he apologized for lying to everyone about her doing such a thing! Guess she forgot to check with my ex before saying all of that because he had already confirmed what had happened word for word what my son had told me. Ever since then, things have been very ungly! She has sandered me on the internet, sent bad letters to some of my friends about me, and has text messaged and voicemailed plenty of other buul! I have NEVER responded to any of it! SO I think it's sort of funny how she keeps hating me and talking bad about me, when I don't even fight back, so to speak. ALL of our communicating is done through MY attorney because she wouldn't allow for my ex and I to speak. SO! Now tell me, who has the problem and why shouldn't I feel attacked all the time? ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 11:48 PM |
Please, I'm hoping you will bring what she is doing to your boys up in court!! That's outrageous! I would never, ever lay a hand on my hubby's children! Nor would he let me!! And...never call them names!! OOOOHHHH!!! That really gets me!!
She sounds very immature! I am so sorry you, and your boys are going through this. ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 12:05 AM |
| Yeah, the sad part is that the boys miss their Dad so much that they just want to visit him anyway and put up with walking on eggshells all weekend. My ex needs to get some guts and stick up for not only his boys, but for himself as well. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 2:48 AM |
| Hi Billy22---You are going through a tough time!! She is a real pain. I know exactly how you feel about slandering. As soon as I left my ex, he went to everybody and their bother to slander me. At first, I truly bothered me and some days I just couldn't stand. Then, I realized that the honest, true hearted people that knew me would know there was more to it than what he was telling everybody. Lately, I just sit back and listen. As the saying goes, "A empty bucket makes the most noise!" I have found this to be so true. Keep in mind, if she's doing all these things to you, she's doing this to others as well. Right now, your the one, she has chosen to pick apart. She should be ashamed of herself. Only because there is children involved. Since, you only have communication through the attorney, you can also type or write on paper what you need to say regarding the kids. Make sure you keep copies of everything you pass along. This way, you will have the written prove at hand for when you do go back to court over these issues. This psycho nut has no business touching your kids. That's the parent's responsibility. What just because she's married to him, she thinks she can do whatever she wants? No, way. Everything she is doing will all come back around on her. Someday, the boys will turn on her. They will get sick and tired of the way she treats them. Eventually, they will stand up to her. I'm sorry you are have such terrible times. I wish I could make things easier for ya. Anyways, you take care and please, keep us posted. xoxoxoxox ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 5:20 AM |
| Thanks again Tweety...I would love your email address too if I can. I also have yahoo messenger so we can IM too. I will keep you all posted. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT! ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 1:52 AM |
| Hey Billy22--My email address is [email protected]. I haven't used instant message but I'll have my daughter give me a crash course on it. ↑ |
| Name: BrookeW | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 2:10 AM |
Billy, how old is their step mother? And also, how old is your ex husband?
BrookeW ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 2:25 AM |
| To tweetybird4 was wondering if I could e-mail @ sometime also? ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 2:55 AM |
| Don't know where the @ came from??? lol ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 13th, 2007 2:20 AM |
Hi Lory---Hey, anytime! I'd love to hear from ya. I've been prettty busy working on some child support stuff. I'm requesting a modification which means I have to get all the proof I have in order so I can get the support that I'm entitled too. The jerk has been cheating me for so long that they are finally going to stick it to him. Ha, ha, ha.....couldn't of happened to a nicer guy. So, forgive me but I will try to respond as soon as I can. I love chatting with wonderful people. Thanks---Your so Sweet.
Billy22---You are too!!!! ↑ |
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