Home » Pick Your Crowd » Divorced Family » Should I just let him go or try to fight for the marriage

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Name: Confused

[ Original Post ]

My husband of eight years had to move to another state to work for his company. When he first left we thought he would be gone for 6-12 months. Well, that was 2 years ago and now he says he is not coming back and doesn't know when he will be able to. For the last 5 months or so he had been asking me to move out there and I have been reluctant because we were going through a very difficult time right when he left. He kicked me and the kids out and then came running back to us the next day. I did not go out there initally because I was afraid this would happen again and I did not want to be 1200 away from home if this was to happen. He is able to come home once a month for a few days but this has put a strain on the marriage. I recently found out he has been talking to another woman because he was tired of coming home to no one and feeling alone. I too feel the same way but I am also trying to take care of our 2 kids. I know he feels alot of resentment towards me as I do him. I want to be able to resolve this situation and be a strong family again. But if he was already seeking to be with someone else should I make that move or just let him go? Thanks for any advise. ↓

Name: pj754 | Date: Jul 25th, 2006 5:41 PM

Does your husband come back home to see you and the kids once a month? A long distance is tough on anyone's relationship. If you are willing to work things out then move out there with him or at least, go out and visit for two or so weeks during the summer before school starts. See how things go while you are there. Why is he talking to another woman? Does he go to her home or does she come to his? Just because he's feeling alone doesn't mean he has to right to seek comfort in another female. I would be very skeptical about that. Think about the times you had together before he left. Was your relationship reallly good or was it sort of rocky? You might want to ask yourself those things before you decide to move out there. If you know in your heart things will work out, then go for it. I'm surprise you have lasted this long in a distance relationship. ↑

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 3:11 AM

I'm glad I'm not in your shoes but if I were,I'd let him go.It kind of sounds like it's all over but the divorce anyway. ↑

Name: Layne | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 3:21 AM

He did ask you to move out there so it doesnt sound over to me. try and work it out for the kids. ↑

Name: confused | Date: Jul 26th, 2006 8:30 PM

He is able to come home for about 3-4 days a month, so that is the only thing that has kept this situation going on for as long as it has we have just came to a point where it has to end. Our marriage was going through a very rocky time for about 6 months before he left. That is why he took the job out there our intentions were we would just get caught back up on our bills, which we have, and then he would be back. My problem is we own a home here which I love, but he does not want to sell it he just wants to rent it out to a friend which I am sure would be a whole other problem. But that is why I am afraid to go out there, he is already seeking another women which he says he has done nothing with they are just friends. I just don't think it will ever get back to the way it was and I hate to move to another state and him say he wants a divorce and me to be stuck out there. I just feel so bad for the kids they want their daddy so bad. Thanks for the suggestions. ↑

Name: angel | Date: Dec 21st, 2007 9:36 PM

hi ↑

Name: ana | Date: Dec 21st, 2007 9:39 PM

work it out ↑

Name: ana | Date: Dec 21st, 2007 9:40 PM

am sorry for what has happen in you´r life tell me all about it and do not ly to me ↑

Name: lucy | Date: Dec 22nd, 2007 1:52 AM

I would not give him up just because he acted stupid one time. A marriage cannot survive with both of you living separate lives. You said that you want to be a family again so get down there and give it a chance or you will always wonder, what if. I would not let him go. ↑

Name: cjsims | Date: Jan 18th, 2008 4:28 AM

You can always move back home, if something does happen. ↑