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I just feel that i had to tell someone. My husband left me on the new year and went out with his friends and they were all with girls including my husband. He lied about where he was, but i found out from my friend who was there too, well i had to put a lot of pressure on her to make her talk. Anyways it turns out he constantly goes clubbing with girls(telling me he only goes to bars with his friends) and my so callled friend never told me cuz he told her not, and she's so afraid of him. I'm so mad, at him, at her for not telling me before, i just don't know what to do, i'm just crying 24/7 even tough i'm trying to stay strong. We have 2 kids and 3rd is on the way. I have considered divorce before but now i'm 100% sure. I just wonder if anyone went through the same thing(especially the new year's)??? I feel like i really need some support cuz i feel i'll either go crazy or literally kill him, i'm exploding. ↓
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| Name: mad | Date: Jan 5th, 2006 6:24 PM |
| by the way i think they should have the forum for those who have problems or about to divorce or something like this, cuz there r people who r not divorced yet abd there those who r just considering one, and also those who just got personal problems. ↑ |
| Name: Been there too | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 3:12 PM |
| What you wrote could have came straight from me. When I was pregnant with my 3rd I thought we'd be divorced before the baby was born, but we stayed together for 4 more years which were hell. I caqlled myself a single mom with a husband who pays the bills. My lifeghas been soooo hard and I wish that we could have worked it out, but HE was not ready to be married and only looked at me as something interfering in his life at that time. Since then he has grown up and is in his thirties now and regrets being that way, but it was too late because I am remarried.My only advice to you is to not be a pushover. Put your foot down and mean it. Find a counselor and a church and go, even if he does not come with you. Become strong on your own before the divorce, get some schooling if you need to and prepare yourself for life on your own while still seeking marriage counseling. If the divorce happens and he doesn't see the light at least you will be strong. Good luck and hang in there. ↑ |
| Name: mad | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 3:44 PM |
| thanx for the reply. I'm working and did some college so i'm ready to move on, but i'm also scared cuz he threatened me last night that if i leave he'll kill me. i know we can't work it out, he doesnt wanna divorce but living with him is like being in hell for the worst sin. He's also physically abusive. Its like one million problems in one. ↑ |
| Name: tb | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 4:29 PM |
| Mad, Do you have familly around where you live? If so you need to first go get a restraining order(without him knowing) pack up yourself and your kids and go stay with someone you can trust. You have to get yourself out of that situation before he seriously hurts you or your children. Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: been there too | Date: Jan 6th, 2006 4:39 PM |
| Mine never threatened to kill me, but was a little abusive. After the divorce, he strangled me and literally let go within seconds of killing me. To this day I don't think he knew what he was doing--this is not an excuse!! But He never drank before we were married because alcohol made him very sick. After we were married and he started choosing his friends over me, he forced himself to dink with them. I always wondered if he was allergic to the alcohol, because his temper flare ups only happened after a night out with his friends. His BP and cholesterol also flew off the charts. He also "fell in love " with a woman from his work and I think his guilt from that contibuted to the way he treated me. If he has threatened to kill you, PLEASE seek help.That is not anything to joke around about and I would hate to hear about you aon tne news. Do you have people to support you?? If not PLEASE find someone and file a report at the police station. If you ever need me to look something up for you or what ever leave a message here. I check into this sight occasionally. ↑ |
| Name: tb | Date: Jan 9th, 2006 1:01 PM |
| Mad, good luck on your decision. Just be careful. Wish you the best of luck! ↑ |
| Name: peaceful listener | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 6:58 PM |
| Loose the dead-beat dad. Life can start over without him, just be brave. Hundreds of thousands of women deal with this everyday, so I am sure that there are support systems out there to help you transition. ↑ |
| Name: Kathy | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 11:56 PM |
| I stayed married to a military man for 22 years. What a mistake. Thought I was doing the best thing for my kids, but I am so screwed up now. I am more intelligent than him but didn't have the common sense to believe in myself. Get out before it is too late. You will end up with nothing!!!! ↑ |
| Name: outlawz | Date: Jan 28th, 2006 3:13 PM |
| Name: michael | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 10:15 AM |
| Sorry lady your hubby sounds like a COMPLETE ASSHOLE if you want to keep your family together a confrontation may be the only way tell him how you feel ask him the word 'IF ' by that i mean If we stay together please stop hurting me by screwing other women n ↑ |
| Name: saj | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 8:07 PM |
| dont kill him you will get caught and never never get to see your children again ↑ |
| Name: Kim | Date: Feb 14th, 2006 7:04 PM |
| I know exactly how you feel, I was in that situation 8 months ago, I always hoped he would change, but it never happened. He got worse as the time went on, my son had to be put in therapy for post traumatic stress syndrome, I also was in counseling because he was emotionally abusive and verbally. I ended up leaving him and moving to another state where my family lived so that I had a support system. I then got a TRO against him and now I am in the process of divorce. My kids are doing a lot better now and they look less stress becuase he is not around. I think you need to leave him too go back to your family and work on starting a new life with your kids, forget about him and his cheating ways he will never change my husband never stopped cheating on me, he just kept covering up and having other people cover up for him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Best of luck to you!! ↑ |
| Name: Flynn | Date: Feb 23rd, 2006 1:07 AM |
I am very sorry that your husband would do such a thing to you. The only advice that I can give you is to ask yourself a question " If he loved me so much ,why would he do this to me?" Then you will know the answer. When you get married and have a family then it is time to grow up. His actions have proven that he is not the man that you thought that he was and it is time to move on with your life. As painful as it is now, having been in a situation similar to yours,I can tell you that the more you are away from him the less pain you will feel and things will get better
Regards,
Flynn ↑ |
| Name: Hope I help | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 1:49 AM |
| If he did that to you than girl you need to drop him and move on. No man if worth your time if they are just going to cheat and lie. A say single mothers rule and that in being one you feel like you can handle it. And ur not going crazy... just pretend a pillow is him and beat the crap out of it ↑ |
| Name: someone whos been there | Date: Mar 2nd, 2006 12:46 PM |
| It seems hubby like the attention of all these women and I would venture to guess your attention is with the children. All men are led by their sexuality and he doesn't feel first in his own house. If he can't grow up then you're better off w/o him BUT remember divorce is not an easy road. I think you should try counselling first. ↑ |
| Name: cindy | Date: May 20th, 2009 3:27 PM |
| I totally understand how you are feeling. I went thru the same thing. I cry everyday and don't know how to feel better. If you want to talk about it just email me back. We are still together trying to work it out but it is so hard. ↑ |
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