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Name: singlemom34
[ Original Post ]
My husband and I have been married for three years, and we have one child. Lately we have been arguing a lot and he has moved out for a trial separation. I'm finding that I am lot happier without him. I'm considering divorce, but I am afraid that my child will miss out on having a dad. any suggestions?
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Name: Jenni | Date: Jun 22nd, 2005 8:25 PM
My parents are divorced, and I never remember them being together, and I would say for the most part, I turned out just fine. My mother ended up remarrying, and my step father was more of a father than my dad ever was/is. Plus it's not like you are erasing him from his/her life, he will still be there...but of course I don't know him or what kind of man he is. Well, good luck with everything. 

Name: Beth | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 8:43 PM
I divorced my children's father 3 yrs. ago and I toiled over it for hours and hours before making my decision. I was worried about the effect it would have on them. I make sure that I never speak badly about my ex in front of my kids, ages 14 & 12 and he lives close so they can see him most anytime. Just make sure that your child's father plays a part in his/her life. I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful man and have recently remarried. He is a dream come true for me and is a terrific step-father to my kids. You never know....you may find the same good luck that I did. You have to make yourself happy......nobody can do it for you! Good luck. 

Name: kelly | Date: Jul 23rd, 2005 12:30 AM
go to counseling 

Name: VRYCONFUSED | Date: Aug 23rd, 2005 8:20 PM
Me and my husband have been together for 18 years 8 years of those married and he is always accussing me of cheating and I am not. We have 4 children oldest being 18 youngest being 8 I am a stay at home mom. We are always fighting about the same thing and he always takes off for about a week or so cause he says he needs time for himself that things just got to heated between us. This is not the first time he has done this it's been three years in a row. I am getting tired of the same stuff different day, any suggesstionsHelp!! 

Name: Regina | Date: Oct 26th, 2005 2:17 PM
Singlemom - If you're happier without him then the choice is clear. Its probably more disruptive to grow up in a family full of arguments than a single parent family, especially if the father is still involved in the child's life. I'm assuming your child is still young, do it now, while he/she still doesn't understand what's going on.

Vryconfused - Seems your situation is a bit more complex. Analyse whether you are dependent on him. Financially and emotionally. If you feel you can live well without him, then maybe make yourself happier by leaving him. If you can't live without him then well, you have no choice but to bear with all these. My view is that these things will eventually take their toll on you, so you might as well get out of it now. Or on a good day, you initiate a heart to heart talk and convince him. I know you might want to avoid the topic on good days because you dread the clashes but that means whenever the topic comes up he'll be in an agitated mood and nothing good will ever come out of it. Try? 

Name: CATERINA | Date: Mar 19th, 2006 10:27 AM
YIASSAS, TI KANETE?
PIOS ETHO MESA KATALAVENI TI EYRAPSA? 


Name: sonia | Date: Mar 19th, 2006 10:07 PM
A trial seperation will not hold your marriage together. If this is what you want then you have to be living together. If this is not what you want then get the divorce and move on. 

Name: iwillsurvive | Date: Apr 7th, 2006 1:38 AM
married 4yrs with a 17 mos old. We argued all the time and are now separated and working on divorce. Willing to chat: [email protected] 

Name: alonejenn | Date: Apr 17th, 2006 5:28 PM
MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 13YRS! HAVE TWO GREAT GIRLS AND I'M MISERABLE WITH HIM. HE TREATS ME AWFUL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. YOUR CHILD WILL ALWAYS HAVE A DADDY AS LONG AS HE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED. I'M CONFUSED IF I SHOULD GO THROUGH A DIVORCE MYSELF...ANY SUGGESTIONS? 

Name: Ami | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 5:00 AM
I married my boyfriend after he came back oncemore! He was not there when our first daughter was born through C-Section. Even before the child was 2 weeks, he accused me of being like a 'dead body' and wanted me and the child to move out of his life. --socks have not been picked up,---- my clothes are not pressed-- we'll live separately, somebody will take care of me'..... and everytime accusation ends in .. move out.... I listened to this for this far. My baby is just close to 9 months old. I am planning hard to make the decision to move out and live seperately. My daughter will miss her father but living separately is the best solution I have started feeling than feeling low, insulted at home. My work in the office is getting effected. I am not able to concentrate well and work. I am failing at the work place with everything that is happening at home.... Advice me --- any suggestions, for me? 

Name: Ami | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 5:15 AM
Hi SingleMom, Am only thinking for the 'living seperately' right now. I too am afraid my child would miss her dad. But one day she/ he will understand that the living together would have been more worse than having to grow up alone - when the child would be big enough to see you argue, see that you are not happy with each other, see that her friends are better off without one of them..... Be Strong. I wish you happy motherhood... 

Name: Not telling.. | Date: May 11th, 2006 8:50 PM
My parents divorced when i was 13..and every moment through it i became depressed i cut myself etc...
Im NOT ! saying your so would do that..
just make sure you make sure this doesnt hurt him. cause it killed me inside. 

Name: pditty | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 11:15 PM
i am basicly still married just because of the children. I often think though maybe they would be happier and have a better relationship if we did divorce we would be happier and they would not have to hear us fight anymore 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 7:06 AM
Divorce and give your ex lots of visitation. 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 7:11 AM
To vryconfused,it sounds to me like your husband uses any argument as an excuse to leave the house,but for a whole week!? My guess is that he's cheating on you and quite possibly living a double life. I'd wisen up if I were you. Hire an investigator for proof and then take him to the cleaners!!!!! 

Name: blank | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 1:59 PM
i am a 20 year old soldier and just got back from iraq. i got married to a girl 2 months later and i dont know why. i like here a lot and did love here but i dont want to be married any more. im to young and dont want to be married. im in germany and i want to live my own life. what can i do? 

Name: blank | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 4:08 PM
Yes, don't get a divorce. There are many problems later on that will never go away. Work your problems out and the both of you need to really listen to eachother without interupting, listen, take it all in, think about what you heard from eachother. work on the problems without blaming. If one of you starts to get upset, walk out of the room, and don't return till you've calmed down. It's hard but you have to atleast try. You guys came together for a reason, don't lose it. Good Luck. 

Name: stayathomemom | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 2:55 AM
I have three kids, no job(have not worked since married), but want a divorce. My husband says I will be left with nothing . He says he will fight to get custody because I have no income--how can I support myself? 

Name: Lizzi | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 5:59 PM
Blank,you confuse me! 

Name: sherry | Date: Jun 15th, 2006 2:04 PM
Thinking of divorce,been seeing another man on and off for 26 yrs. Ive been married to this husband for 11 yrs and one before him for 9 yrs 

Name: noname | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 8:48 PM
I have been married to my husband for 13 years and I have two wonderful children. The problem is that all we do is fight and most of the time it ends up in front of our children. We are having financial concerns at this time. No matter what I do or say it always turns into a big blow out and I am seriously considering divorce. The problem is that I am afraid that he will talk my children into staying with him because he will give them materialistic things that I can not, and that they will be able to stay near there friends. HELP I need some advice!!! 

Name: Rick | Date: Jul 6th, 2007 5:51 AM
Is this a live chatroom? 

Name: bessie | Date: Jul 23rd, 2007 12:54 AM
I have stayed in a unhappy marriage for 22 years for The sake of the children. Now that they are of age I relize that was the wrong thing to do. One of my children ask me why I stayed in the marriage that I should have divorced long ago. Staying in a loveless marriage showed my childen no love or respect between me and my husband. Now I am 40 some and still very unhappy. 

Name: reedpelzel | Date: Jul 27th, 2007 1:55 PM
I just seperated from my husband and I have a daughter from a previous relationship and trust me, your child will be fine. As long as you both express that you will be there for him/her. My daughter is doing great now and couldn't be happier. 

Name: CHERYL | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 1:42 AM
I DO BELIEVE IF YOU CAN WORK IT OUT ITS A LOT BETTER FOR THE CHILD. BUT YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY TOO OR THE CHILD WILL SENSE IT. SOMETIMES THE SECOND TIME AROUND WITH A CHILD IS NOT THAT EASY. BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THE CHILD COMES FIRST NOT NOT YOU. ITS HARD. GOOD LUCK 

Name: Joel | Date: Aug 15th, 2007 1:04 AM
He should stay involved with his child. 

Name: momof 2 | Date: Sep 3rd, 2007 3:47 AM
i am kinda in the same boat but i have been married for 13 years today and we argue alot and i think by now it should be a little better but i find myself getting more unhappy with each day. i have 2 children and i grew up in a house that all my parents did was fight and just 5 years ago my dad left my mom after 35 years of marriage, i do not want ot be my parents and figure out i wasted all these years. i think that kids desere to have happy parents and i myself have realized that i am a better parent when he is not around. does this help. 

Name: new mom | Date: Sep 9th, 2007 9:19 PM
Dear Mom of 2,

I am a new mom. My baby is 2 months old and all I think about is how long I should wait before I leave my husband. I feel trapped. I can see myself in your situation 13 years from now. My parents got a divorce last year, after 30 years of marriage. I don't want to follow in their footsteps and be miserable for 30 years. Did you ever love your husband? I don't think I ever loved my husband. We dated for 5 years and have been married for 2. I stayed with him all these years because it was easy and I didn't want to be alone. I wish I could look back on a time when I was happy with him. I can't. Did you try or consider couple's counseling? I'm trying to figure out if it's even worth it. 

Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Sep 9th, 2007 10:29 PM
new mom im not going to try to talk you out of it but have you considered that you may suffer from postpartum depression if it truly is the way you say it is then get out before you waste any more time being unhappy but if you didnt think about it until now you should contact your obgyn and have a talk about your feelings 

Name: cherisalorraine | Date: Sep 9th, 2007 11:03 PM
if you want to get good feed back try starting your own topic at the stay at home moms forum they are very helpful people and some people wont even look at this when they see how old the original post is so you should almost always start your own 

Name: bug | Date: Sep 29th, 2007 3:05 AM
i want a divorce from my husband but i can't afford the fee. another problem is that we moved in this house together and the house is in his name and he say that i have no part of it. Is this true? 

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