My wife and I have been married for over 7 years, and recently we had a new born girl who's about 5 months old now. Now she's asking me for a divorce which comes to me as an unexpected shock. After thinking for several nights, I decided to make the story goes back 2 years ago.
on 2009, we were still working in the same company which I dislike a lot for various reasons. So I decided to start a small business somewhere else. I asked her to come but she didn't do anything (wages are no concern, and workload there is almost minimum) but staying there. And I closed the business by the end of 2010 since it wasn't making any profits but slowing eating up my savings. About 2 months before the business actually closed, she comes to my location and started to live together again. There were only 2 or 3 visits from her for the entire year. Regardless, when she tried to help, the decision was already made, and closing is unavoidable. I never put blames on anyone because that was my decision and I had to be the one who's entirely responsible for it.
When she comes to my location, she decided to have a baby and I agreed. It was easy, she got pregnant right away. We were both happy, and I started to prepare for the kid and caring for the mom ever since then.
by mid 2011, we had our little one come out, and it was a joy. I had her in hospital's after-birth care center for 3 weeks, for the reason that she needs good rest, care, food, and the 24/7 care for the baby.
However, everything changed after she returned from the hospital. First was the disagreement over how to care for the baby. I was the one who wants to "train" the baby to fit into our schedule, but my wife thinks the other way. She cares the baby almost 24/7 or whenever the kid makes a noise. It was hell for almost 2 months, after she took the kids and turns to her family. There were 6 more adults (grandparent level) who can provide a lot more care then just my wife and me. I decided to let them handle it for about a month and then I will go there.
As I expected, the kid became more needy. I was not happy at all, but I kept my mouth shut in front of her family. I kept it to myself and stay in my own place. After about another month, we take the kids home.
Then comes the shocking news. She told me one day that she wants to divorce me. As I asked for reasons, there are only 3 things I can hear from her. One is that she has no feeling for me, so she wants a divorce. The second is, she can still see me as a father to the baby, but not her husband. And the third, she's not happy with me.
I have thought this over 2 weeks now, and I am still holding up. Time's running out because I can't delay her forever. I know one thing that I can't force her not to do this, but I really want to see if anyone can offer me some good advices.
To clear other matters up, here are several facts that I am sure are true.
1. we haven't had sex since the pregnacy, and she won't even let me touch her.
2. we both are faithful, there's no cheating or so.
3. we did have arguement, fights, but never physical.
4. we been through weeks of "cold wars", but eventually it gets back to "normal" like daily life.
5. we do have some cultural differences, but it is not race, its the demographic!
Thanks for all the advices and suggestions I could get! ↓
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