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Name: stacey
[ Original Post ]
Well I must say there are so touchey issues going on here..lol I am a step mom and and ex wife so i see both sides of it. i have three children from a previous marriage and was lucky enough to have a little 3 year old step son, when my husband and I meet the twins were 6 and Jacob my oldest was 9 and the baby which is my step son was 3 .. story goes/ ex wife was remarried the 3 year old called the stepdad a nick name not daddy. When my stepson meet me because of the other children he never called me by my name just mommy. My husbadn and I jsut went with it.. The next time he came ver he said he was not allowed to call me mommy , his mommy was mad i swhat he said. I told him sweetheart if thats what you want to do that thats ok with me .. he said but you are my mommy too .. I told this little it's ok .. years have went by and when he comes i am mommy to him that is what he calls me . he also calls his step dad daddy . I am sure it was hurtfull to the Bio mom and it was hurtful to my husband the first time he heard his son call someelse dad.But it works best for the stepson. Now he just tells everyone he is lucky and has two families 2 moms and 2 dads.. To flip that when my ex remarried and my oldest started saying stuff refering to to new wife as mommy yes I was hurt , I did not love my son any less. as I had to stop and think. ok this women is helping raise my son . if he asks like a mom to him that its ok. it is about making the child happy . thats what it is about.. I will throw in just because our familes between the exwife and the new husband and myself and my husband are ok with the phrase mom and dad.. we still do not get along and she is still mean and hateful to me.. any suggestions on how to deal with a mean and mean ex wife?
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Name: Jen | Date: Mar 8th, 2006 5:07 PM
I wish I could help, but my husbands ex is like the 3rd member of our marriage. She is full of anger and there is no way work with her or talk to her because she is mad at the world and everything is not her fault. She makes my life hard and gets it her way because if she doesn't she goes bullistic. My step daughter loves me, but when she's been at her moms I can tell when her mom has been saying things about us because she treats us differently for about a day, then it comes out what her mom has said, we address it, then she is back to normal. I keep telling myself to always be the bigger person and one day it will all come full circle. This ,however, does not always make it easier. 

Name: Melanie | Date: Mar 30th, 2006 9:19 PM
KIll her with kindness. My husband has 2 kids with his ex w. She is a piece of work... to say the least.I am always nice to her especally in front of the kids. When I know she worked or was ill on a time we drop of thekids I always say be nice to Mom or try and help her out tonight wshe is tired or what ever the case.
Mind you I can not stand her she is manipulative example she wanted pictures of her kids at My husbands and my wedding. The photographer was supose to take some shots of JUST the kids... well he never did so the only phots I have is of the kids with us. I told her he did not take any so sorry. She said if she does not get them she will make things harder for us.
WE have the kids every FRiday to Sat . night. 3 t0r 4 times a year we ask for a weekend off . So she is saying she doe not have to do that anymore but she forgets that we take them on Sundays when she needs us to and during the week and so forth. I hate to be blacked mailed to to giving her pictures of our most private time together as we became a family. I worked so hard on making everthing for the wedding and set up everthing. To me I would have given the photos to her the photographer was to take (out side) Of just the kids but it did not happen. I do not feel I have to give them to her. and to black mail us makes me ill!!
Well as you can see we all have our crosses to bear.
Let me know you thoughts
Best of luck Stacy!! 

Name: nicole | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 3:21 AM
kill her with kindness, befriend her and take her by surprise. It is always in the best interest to make the relationship as healthy as possible and act like mature adults for the benefit of the children and their development of healthy relationships as they become adults. 

Name: Heather | Date: Apr 19th, 2006 8:08 PM
i know exactly what you all are going through. I have two step-children and have to deal with my husband's ex-wife every week. I am so nice to her and try to help out whenever i can ever since the kids were 2 and 3. I never made the kids call me mommy or anything because i did not want to confuse them at all. I care too much about them for that. Well my husband's ex wife got remarried and the two kids call him daddy and it really bugs me because my husband is a terrific father and was there from day one and it seems to me that his ex wife is trying to get him out of the picture to his kids. He pays for all of their doctor bills, sees them for 3 days out of each week, left them his trust fund that was meant for him so they could go to college and everything, left the house for his ex wife so the kids would not have to be uprooted, and a lot more. He works 6 days a week and pays child support and barely can make ends meet and when she causes problems i just want to smack her but i think of the kids and am so incredibly nice to her for them. I am just afraid that the kids are just going to be out of his life forever once they are old enough to decide that where they want to be and when his daughter gets married i am afraid that she is going to ask her step-father to walk her down the aisle. I don't know what to do because everytime I see her or after I hang up the phone with her i get in such a bad mood I don't even want bothered because i think of all the things that she put us through. Please help 

Name: To Heather from Serina | Date: Apr 19th, 2006 11:10 PM
Court order will not let her take the kids away#1 and if she is getting support good tool to make sure she does not. He should ake her how she would feel if the kids called you MOM then hea should ask her not to let them but to me wht ever makes the kids happy is the best rule of tumb re this matter.Just because they call some one else Dad does not mean they do not know who the real father is. How long have you been married I mean realy you are worried about weddings that may never happen . If he is a good father and is their for his kids that is all that mattersNot who might wlak a daughter down the isle. She might as both of them to walk her but I would not worry about that now. She may never get married.Who knows
Good luck 

Name: JE | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 7:58 AM
I am pleased to hear that you are concerned abut the childrens welfare. that is what is important and too many parents get cought up in fighting eachother using the kids. I am in that situation being the step parent. however the bio mum is very viscous and uses her children to her x husband (my Partner.) its just so sad to watch and hard. its a big circle. you have the right attitude. 


Name: Serina To JE | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 1:00 PM
Maybe you are more prepaired them most to be a step parent.You know what pain it can cause the child when exs do not get along esp. in front of the kids.All you can do is be as kind as you can be to the ex and just love the kids with out any concern to the ex. The childern will learn from your example even if it is only part of the time.
My step kids now do not do bad things in our home and now are doing it less at home lie saying bad words and leaving the coat on the floor ( the hang it up now with out me saying a word.
I tell them that they should help out at home and they are. They are the ones that are the heros in all this brave and strong.
Good luck to you in your effort to have a happy home life. 

Name: ClayGirl | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 8:16 PM
Hello everyone 

Name: Dianna | Date: Apr 24th, 2006 5:05 PM
Kill her with kindness. Mother always said " Keep your friends close and your enimies closer" Good luck. 

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 12:54 PM
I am also dealing with an ex wife. Please see the e-mail she just sent to my finace and me this morning. Her and I had a falling out a few days ago because she said their daughter was only to view our home as a "place to visit" and I told her NO, your child will always be allowed to think of this as her HOME, too! My honey had two kids before he hooked up with his ex wife already and she was mean to them, according to my hun and his kids, and she told him that SHE came first before the kids. I called her out on that too. Here is what she e-mailed me today:
] Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 04:58:17 -0700 (PDT)
] From: T Muller []
] Subject: Re: I agree
] To: Lee and Christy []
]
] Hello again,
]
] Christy you said some very hurtful things towards me that are so stretched out beyond the truth it is not even funny... I am a good person and I have a huge heart and for you to say the hurtful, mean, out of place things you did- well you can imagine why I got so mad... But I am also a very forgiving person.. Mike cannot understand how I can be the way I am... he once asked me if someone spit in your face and then came back and apologized, would you accept? Well My answer to this is Absolutely...
] And the things you said about the kids- Christy- you have no clue... did I make some wrong choices? Absolutely- but I also realized that once I had my own child and did everything in my power to change the way that I was in the beginning.. If Lee could ever be honest with himself, he would tell you that!!!! I was the one who got Courtney into dance, got the family into camping (in the campers) for a family activity, rode bikes with the kids, went roller blading with the kids, took Courtney everywhere with me, baked cookies with them, played with them... etc, etc... And my heart misses them SOOOOO much- you have no idea what this has done to me to have demolished my relationship with them.... I NEVER tried to be their mom Christy, only a friend and mentor... I always told lee that as well... I tried to put myself in their moms shoes if I had a child, which I ended up having... And as far as Mine and Lees relationship, I never said it wasn't anything other than
] terrible!!!!!! It was terrible- but that did not change the fact that I loved him more than anything- and I always will!! And I wanted things to work out for the family sake and especially Breahnas sake- Lee and I got "lost" a long time ago and just never found each other again.. But I will say, whether you can handle it or not- Lee was my ONE true love and this makes Breahna EVEN more special because she was created out of a love/bond so strong (back then) that she is truly a love child....
] I am just glad that we were both able to find someone who makes us happy again.. Life is too short to be miserable... And rest assured, and make sure that Lee knows that no matter how angry him and I get at each other- HE IS ALWAYS BREAHNAS FATHER AND I WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THAT RELATIONSHIP.... Just because him and I are spewing venom at each other- He is still Breahnas daddy and she loves him to death....
] Please also keep in mind that there are two sides to every story and every horrible thing you think about me because you have "heard" - maybe it was blown up a bit or changed a bit- because all my friends/family/co workers/child/Mike can't be wrong- I must be doing something right in life to have the friends/family I have...
] We all make mistakes and I do not claim to have died on the cross or to be able to walk across water, therefore I must make mistakes as do we all!!!!
]
] And as I said before- MIke and I dont' keep secrets, trust me- he knows every converstation we have, every text message sent and every upset we all feel...
]
] Take care and I hope you two can find some peace in this... God Bless, Tawnia 

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 12:57 PM
Can anyone tell me how I should deal with my huney's ex?? Any advice? See her e-mail...posted on this site minutes ago. 

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 1:00 PM
Here is the first e-mail that started it all with my huney and his ex....
Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:55:38 -0700 (PDT)
] From: T Muller []
] Subject: Re: Great advice
] To: Lee and Christy []
]
] Alright- enough- You have crossed the line!!!! I don't know why we are having this conversation.. I know you are trying to help, But honestly, this is none of your busines... You have NO clue what has happened between me and Lee and to sit here and "listen to Lee" please!!!!!!! You have crossed the line and I would appreciate it if you would keep your "help" to yourself!!!!!!!!! You are in NO position what so ever to give me advice... Breahna is my one and only child who is the most important thing in my life and I think I know what is best for her, along with her father.. Honestly, Lee and I have been doing pretty well I think and for you to continue to add your two cents, Keep it to yourself.... I don't mean to be mean- But honestly, Breahna is none of your concern... Whether you care about her or not.. .Keep it to a friendship as that is all you will EVER be to her...
]
] Lee and Christy [] wrote: Here is an excellent website on how to deal with parenting after a divorce and having two homes for a child. I think the experts (counselor's, psychologists) who have studied these issues- really are the ones who have it down when it comes to what's best mentally for a child when going between two homes of divorced parents. I know you might be thinking differently here but I think Lee and I will have to agree to disagree with you here on what's best for Breahna to think.
] See website:
] http://www.divorceandchil
dren.com/parenting2.htm

]

] Here is a great book, you might want to think about picking it up and reading it. We highly recommend it.
]
] http://www.divorcesource.com/
webcart/twohomes.html.

Let
us know what you think...
Take care,
Lee and Christy

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 1:03 PM
Sorry- THIS is the e-mail that started the whole fighting thing.

Date: Saturday, April 22, 2006 10:45 PM
From: T Muller []
To: Lee and Christy []
Subject: Re: Pics of Breahna
Size: 5 KB

Hi there,

We understand your concern and appreciate it, but Texas is becoming Breahnas home now..Please try not to confuse her when she is there to visit... She is confused enough and is still adjusting... I can understand how excited Lee and the kids must be for her to visit... We are too as she is so excited to see her father...
Where is Riley in the picture? Breahna asks about him often and I think she would like to have a whole family picture if that would be ok.
I am sure she will like her new room that you re-did, I know she likes it when her room is decorated. She really liked her room in the past when her Auntie Jodi, my friend Lisa and I did her room back then, and at that time she really liked it.
I am sure she will be very surprised when she gets there and see's her new room.

Take Care
Tawnia, Mike, Breahna and Smokey

Lee and Christy [l] wrote:
Here are some pics of Brea for you- and one family pic for her- we will be sending it as a photo via snail mail, too, so she can have it in her room!

We miss her and can't wait to see her- we are counting down the days until she gets to come home.

Let her know we are redoing her bedroom Princess Purple Style for her, with the color she picked out on the paint strip paper!

Lee and Christy 

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 1:14 PM
Here is what I said to her that got her REALLY mad at me: NOTE: This woman downs a pack of beer every night, she drinks in front of their daughter all the time, she constantly is text messaging my honey on the weekends telling him to give her another chance- she was the one who divorced him! She is constantly trying to act like I am not in his life, and when I finally after 1 1/2 years say something, she called Lee and told him that he could no longer see Breahna and swore at him up and down and called him and me every name in the book. He and I talked last night and I just decided to e-mail her and apologize to her, which she replied with that e-mail saying she loves him and stuff. I am 26 years old, she is 37. Lee is 37- they were married for 5 years, from 1997-2003. She would sit in his driveway at night in her car, drunk, calling him begging him to talk to her. What should I do? Run before I marry him? Does it get better dealing with ex wifes? Was I out of line?

The things you say and do regarding Breahna affect BOTH my and Lee's life. . Beings that I grew up in a divorced home, I have a very VERY good understanding of what it's like to have a selfish step parent come in and try to tear apart a family. I could and would NEVER stoop to the level you did with this family.

What is best for Breahna when it comes to how she can feel about this being her home or not- is something Lee and I will and have discussed and agree on. Simply- This is Breahna's home, too, and always will be. We determine what's best for the kids in our household- what is best for them ALWAYS comes first. There are lines here that you can no longer cross with your whacked out thoughts and idea's. That is what happens when you divorce someone and they move on to something better for themselves and their kids. Get used to it.

I don't know how drunk or off on cloud nine you get to make yourself believe that somehow your life with Lee was something other than terrible, because I have been told otherwise. Now- you can be assured that I will never BASH you in front of your only child, I have enough respect despite all I know, to do something like that to you and I only hope you will do the same for me, as I will be Breahna's step mom soon.

I will NEVER ask Lee to put ME above ANY of his children. I don't take ANYTHING from a person who is so selfish that she tries to come in and destroy children's lives with their father by telling him that she and her feelings should come first before his childrens.

SO- Until you read the book I suggested and THEN if you STILL think you can argue that it's best for Breahna to think of this household as merely a place to visit, please by all means, feel free to call me and I'll give you my opinion in person. 

Name: Christy | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 1:18 PM
Should I get out of the relationship with Lee now while I still can? I swear his ex wife causes so much stress for both he and I. 

Name: Terri | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 12:58 PM
Stacey, your story is very similar to mine in some ways.....I agree with Nicole, JE and Serina. It will be your attitude that will stick in the long run. You helped raise them and they do look to you as a parent for guidance. That is the part for you to remember, it is about the kids. As a reminder to myself more than anything (since I went searching for an web-site using the term "I havte my husband's ex-wife").... She will be in our lives from now on, do I want to spend this much energy hating her? My disdain for her has caused problems in my marriage that have not been worth all of the pain. Hang in there. 

Name: julie | Date: May 12th, 2006 1:04 PM
hello im on the other hand im the ex wife,and my ex husbands wife is always telling me what i do wrong ,i try to avoid her but she is so rude , i tried to kill her with kindness, and she wants things her way,all the time, what should i do? it hurts so bad when she tells my son to call her mom.she calls all the time she complains about everything,my ex husdand says she wears the pants and i have to listen to her, because she makes all the plans every other weekend.i have to get along for my little boys sake,please give me your advise. 

Name: Serina To Julie | Date: May 12th, 2006 5:46 PM
Tell you ex you will not speek to her any more and he need to make the arangements from now on. I would not put up with it.I am the new wife and I do not speak with his ex if I can aviod it.Is is alos very rude/and want everthing her way.
If you ex s wife calls I would just say I need to talk with the kids father regarding any further arangments. Thank you. tThen hang up.
I think it is up to the kids if they asked to call her Mom then that is how it is but if she is telling them to call her mom she is very wrong.try to think of how it is for the kids regarding this matter. Talk to them about it. See it from the kids view.
Very best luck!! 

Name: ? | Date: May 14th, 2006 1:00 AM

Name: suz | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 2:37 AM
I feel for you and what you are trying to do. I am in a situation where we have 5 kids together (2 are mine and 3 are his). We have been together for almost 4 years now and I have bent over backwards to be as nice as possible to my husband's ex-wife. Of course she is nice to my face but when she is with the kids she has all kinds of mean things to say about my husband and myself. The kids come back and tell us everything that she says and when we confront her on it (most we let go but she has gotten very nasty also) she denies it and tells us the kids are liars. We end up getting the kids back in raggy clothes, hair not combed, teeth not brushed, etc. Of course we can't tell her what to do in her own home but I am now to the point where I am done. She has finally driven me off the deep end with her comments and strange behaviors she has the kids doing. Does anyone have an idea how I can get myself back on track and stop this situation from ruining my marriage? I honestly cringe when I know she is coming to pick up the kids and my blood starts to boil. I hate that she is able to do this to me. The hardest part is that she is teaching the kids to call other people freaks if they are what she considers "beneath her" and she has been like this for years but know one has ever put her in her place. She has been allowed to walk all over people and treat them so cruel. Any suggestions on how I can get a handle on my own feelings and get things back in order? 

Name: pj754 to Suz | Date: Jul 6th, 2006 12:19 PM
You have to tell yourself, she is who she is and you can't change her. You have to try real hard not to let her get under your skin. Don't let her see it or even let the kids know it bothers you. She is probably using them as her little informants to report back to her about everything that goes on in your home. Even though you are hurting inside put on the happiest face you can and keep it there. Think about all the good positive things in your life. Like, your kids are healthy, you are healthy, you and your hubby are happy together. You all are happy together as a family. Show the love you have inside. Most importantly---kill her with kindness. It will eat her up more so than you. You are doing right and she is the one, who is wrong. If she can get away with it, let her because to you she is very insignificant. She puts her pants on the same way we all do. She is no better than anyone else. People like that pride themselves by hurting weak ones. You are strong. Continue to be that way for the children's sakes. Be sure to talk with the children about right and wrong. They have to see it for themselves. Yet, constant repitition will keep their minds on the right track. It may take a while for them to understand but when the get older they will remember the positive things you have said. They may make bad choices down the right but you and your hubby are there to guide them, help them to make the corrections and learn how not to make the mistake again. Yes, saying all this is easier said than doing but know in your heart you are right. Trust your heart. Suz, you are not alone on this one. This kind of stuff happens to alot of us. So, don't let this woman get the best of you. She is narrow minded and that will never change. Just focus on all your children in teaching them not to be narrow minded like her. Focus on your hubby, too. Talk things out with him and reassure him why he truly loves you. As a family, you can't beat this. I'm speaking from experience and I'm dealing with the same kind of B.S. with my ex. Yet, I have two out of three children that recognize their father's behavior. I'm still working on the one, my oldest, who worships the ground his father walks on. I'm not willing to give up. It might take me until he becomes 30 years old to realize how ignorant his father is but at least he will always know how much I love him and stood by him through thick and thin. So, hang in there. Keep your chin and think positive. I hope this helps. 

Name: Serina S | Date: May 17th, 2007 2:52 PM
Bump re calling step Mom 

Name: jaytammy | Date: Jun 8th, 2007 6:30 PM
Hi Stacey, My idea of dealing with her is to not deal with her at all. The only time you need to speak to her is if she contacts you with a question or such. Even in those instances I would let your ex answer the phone and deal with her. She is controlling you through the children - which is wrong. I think it is plain and simple - be done with her. When the children come over be all you can be for them. She does not have to be a part of the picture. She must know she is getting to you both. Plain and simple DON'T LET HER. You don't have to explain yourself or your actions in any way. It sounds like she is jealous and needs to take her own inventory and look in the mirror and deal with herself. For your own piece of mind let it go and ignore her. Go on with your life and put yourself and the children first. I can say all of this because my situation is somewhat similar. I use to drive myself nuts trying to please everyone including the ex. I am to the point that I just don't care what she thinks. I am not in a relationship with her. I know that she is unhappy with her life and the way it is going and she hates the fact that the children Love me. It is so backwards you would think that they ex would be happy that the kids are around a person who loves and cares for them. It all stems down to there own insecurities. So please don't let her do this to you anymore. It will drive her crazy at first when you start to change and avoid her at all cost. That is for her to deal with not you. Your job is not to please her it is for you to take care of yourself so you can be there for the children and your husband. I have myself been nice and went out of my way for my future husbands exwife. I was new at this and did not want any trouble. I quickly realized that she is not worth it and that I am not dealing with her anymore. Since I have done this I have peace of mind and am able to concentrate on my family and the love we have. If she can't handle it oh well. If you do this you will be a much happier person. No one has the right to make you feel a certain way. The key is not letting them because then they enjoy causing trouble and thrive off of it. Just Love yourself and be confident in the choices you make. You sound like a loving mother. Life is to short to let anyone like that affect you. Have a great day and hopefully I have been helpful,
Tammy 

Name: april | Date: Jun 12th, 2007 10:13 PM
his ex embarrassed me in front of the whole town at their daughters game, called me trash and told me she was still sleeping with him, of course she was trying to get under my skin..any suggestions on how he or myself should handle?it was the wrong place and time, i walked away for sake of child. 

Name: Dona | Date: Jun 27th, 2007 5:36 PM
Hello everyone. I am new in dating a divorced man with three children. We have a great relationship with him and the kids. For now we have a long distance relationship, but we are talking about the future and me eventually moving to his state. I won't rush into things I know for sure. My concernis that his ex is the one that divorced him after twenty years together. The divorce was final last year and he has moved into his new home last January and because of the kids it's about 5 minutes away from hers. He does everything for the kids (sports etc..) . He's always at her beck and call everyhtime she needs a babysitter. He hstill has a key to her house "because of the kids". When she's out of town, he walks her dog. I recently found out that she has a key to his new house. He says its for the kids and the emotional relationship with her has been over for about 10 years. I hae faced him with this situation and he says that its normal. Is this true? Please help me before I make a mistake with this man.
Alos when the youngest daughter went back to her moms house, she raved about me and my boyfriend received a very nasty phone call from her. I have treated those kids like I do my nephew and niece and without stepping over the line.
Thanks.
Dona 

Name: The New Mrs P. | Date: Jun 28th, 2007 1:23 AM
Dear Stacey,

Your situation sounds so familiar, its hard for couples to let go sometimes as I have gone through what you are going through,
my husband left me and we ended the realtionship with divorce. I met a wonderful man who was also getting divorced, and who i have married since. I was amazed how he got on with his ex- it was all nice nice, and here am I wondering why the hell did they seperate in the first place!!!! Anyway he had keys to her place and would pop in and out, at first I tried to understand and i put up with a lot of things, but it did get to a point where i said enough is enough, by them being so nice to each other and him visiting was doing nothing but confusing the children. She at one point wanted him to attend Easter Mass with her and the children, I thought this to be outrageous as the Greek community would think that they are back together, I mentioned to him that he had a decision to make Me or Her as to me going to church together was saying that they are still together! He didn't go Hes stated to her " Its not appropriate that they are seen together in a holy place" it would confuse the community and start idle gossip. As time passed and our relationship deepend I would mention to him that he needs to start seeing her less and less, pick up the boys at the front of the house rather than going inside, have dinner with the boys on his own have father and children time without her! and slowly he did less and less with her. I love him very much and he is a very gentle and kind man, when i speak to him I tell him that I think it would be good if........ rather than saying I don't want you too........its just not what you say, but how you say it! Trust me
if he is a good man then its worth being pateint with him its hard I KNOW. Since then she has made it obvious that she wanted him back and she even told me that my marriage to him is nothing but a lie! What ever! we are very happliy married now and he has very little to do with her. SO hang in there. Wishing you all the best. 

Name: j | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 2:16 PM
visit www.bonusfamilies.com 

Name: s | Date: Jul 11th, 2007 2:16 PM
you will find your answers at www.bonusfamilies.com 

Name: Christy | Date: Jul 12th, 2007 10:45 PM
Here I am over a year later. Married to Lee now, STILL dealing with a snotty EX wife! Lord help me all I can do is try to ignore her comepletely, or TRY to be nice to her. She called my hubby up a few months ago during the workday and bashed on me got a good 30 minutes, he listened because he couldn't get a word in edgewise, and also because he was intrigued with the stories she was fabricating, telling him that "her master plan is to destroy your life....and that I'm trying to ruin his relationship with his family and children and eventually will destroy him" When he told me all this I was like WHATEVER! I don't have any plan for life other than to appreciate everything I have in my life now and to be happy everyday. My goodness this woman will not stop! Also, my step daughter has made comments that her mom hates me, which makes my step daughter Breahna sad, I can see it in her eyes. Why can't my husbands ex wife just STOP her attitude and think about what is best for her little 8 year old girl. Brea is uncomfortable to get too close with me because she doesn't want to hurt her mom's feelings! I think that is SAD!

NOW, that said, let me say I am also an EX WIFE, and my ex husband has moved on, and I share my 3 year old son with them. Now when I heard my ex husbands girlfriend say that she loves my son to death and thinks he is great, my heart jumped for JOY! I WANT him to be in a home where he is loved when he is with his dad. I know that she is like his other mom. That is the reality of the situation and the only thing that matters to me if that my child feels LOVED no matter whose home he is at, and more power to the girlfriend if she takes care of my child as if he were her OWN! Hallelujah and AMEN to that people! THINK ABOUT THE KIDS FIRST and put stupidity and jealousness and all the other negative thoughts and emotions aside and try to be positive, as hard as it may be, for THE KIDS SAKE! It will make them a lot more comfortable with their lives....BELIEVE me.....I am a child of divorced parents and I had wicked step parents and all I wanted was for them to love me.....which never happened but all be damned if I'm not going to love my step kids just as much as I love my son~ 

Name: johnny adams | Date: Aug 6th, 2007 12:28 AM
my ex wife has custody of my daughter and just up and move to west virgina and not tell me what do i do about this 

Name: mandy | Date: Aug 10th, 2007 6:17 AM
I am in a similar situation but not about the name of mum or dad.
My partners kids and I have a great relationship, as do my kids with my partner.Unfortunately the chidlrens mother will not even ring our home phone number and will not let me into her home to give the children a present for their birthday. I have been the best person to her boys and always uphold their mother to them and when my partner and I took the boys away on a holiday I spoke to her at ;the airport and told her how wonderful the boys were and they are a credit to her and their father. I like her and think she is a great mum and person, but she just wont acknoledge me. Unfortuneately the boys suffer when I have to go to a park to give them a present. Their dad can go into their home but not me.We am not going to put the kids in the middle and deprive them of their father at important occassions. At least, my partner and I have the best relationship and all this just brings us closer as he always honours me.. 

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