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Name: ann

[ Original Post ]

My little boy is only 7 and he HATES his dad. Granted in July he saw his dad threaten to kill me and shove a door into me...but for as long as I can remember I have had to beg and plead to get him to go see his dad. Daily I assure him his dad loves him and how much I would miss him if I only got to see him a few days at a time. But any time I try to encourage him to go see him he says no I hate him I am not going. If I did not know better I would really think he has done something to my son...or that my son is witnessing him abuse his new wife....I just don't know!!! My son was a new born when his father and I divorced so he has no memories of us being together. My son constantly BEGS that my husband be his dad...he just cries and says mom you just don't understand! He and I are very close, and my daughter too...but I cannot grasp why he struggles so much to go over there and even see his dad. He is afraid if he goes even for a few hours his dad will make him stay the night. I just don't get it!!! When I went on a business trip the other night he called me screaming and crying and said I have to go home NOW. I know his father does not care about my feelings but it breaks my heart for his dad that he does this. I even promised to buy him a new toy if he would quit crying. I fear what will happen if my son crys to much. Though his temper is directed toward women the court just does nothing when it comes to kids. I even take my son to a Christian counselor hoping it will help but so far no luck. Any ideas...and what do you think is the deal? Please be honest!!! ↓

Name: jenney131 | Date: Oct 8th, 2008 5:25 AM

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Name: probwrong | Date: Sep 5th, 2009 1:59 PM

Its simple- your boy feels secure staying with you and hubby. He sees his step dad as dad and is clearly telling you he does not want to go to his bio dad--
What would happen if you acknowledged the boys wishes and stopped insisting he goes when it sounds like his being is screaming I DO NOT WANT TO GO?. [ this i would find heart breaking. Your ex is the grown up here and responsible for HIS relationship with son-not YOU. How would you know what is going on when you are not in the room?
The bio dad needs to put more effort in, not you, certainly not your son.
Focus on your sons well-being -Take the PRESSURE that you are putting your son under ( to spend time with a man who he saw threaten to kill his mum) OFF.
The onus to build a relationship with your son is with his biological dad. Concerned re exes feelings? thats his business. ↑