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Name: lost

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ok i met my dreamman over a year ago he is perfect in everyway, his only fault i should say is that he has been married before and has a 3yr old daughter. being a 24 year old girl with no children it has been hard for me to adjust but I have tried my best because i know he is the one i want to spend my life with. his ex however is making it very difficult for us. when we first started dating i would go with him to pick his daughter up and drop her offm, at the time his ex had a boyfriend so she didnt seem to fazed by my presence. the drama started after she saw my boyfriend and i out on the weekend we had his daughter. we are both young so of course we go out, even when we have his daughter since she falls asleep by 10, my mother and his mother offer to take care of her for us so that we could still have a social life. well when we saw her out(she had never really seen me before besides in the car) she got really mad and started calling his phone saying it isnt right that he's out if he didnt want to take care of her then she would of never dropped her off and so on...then she said she was calling his mom to pick her up...that he's a bad father and thats why she didnt want to be with him....etc. he proceeded to tell her that its his weekend and he can do as he pleases on his weekend. since that day its been a rollercoaster. sometimes she will make excuses to call him and ask him questions that sometimes dont pertain to his daughter. when she calls to schedule a pickup or drop off/ she will make excuses to talk longer like do you have her crayons...(she never brings crayons) or her pink jacket(what pink jacket?)...she also calls about the childsupport, did you send it and when etc...she has even found my myspace and now writes mean stuff about me on hers like your just a rebound, its me he wants, i can get him back if i want. i have never done anything to this girl if anything she should be happy that i treat her daughter with right and with respect. i know this doesnt sound like much but i have never been in a situation like this and i need to know how to handle it please any suggestions would help. ↓

Name: Catherine | Date: Nov 20th, 2007 5:45 PM

I wish I had some advise for you. I have been married for three years and my husbands ex wife still sends him text messages about having sex, etc and pictures of herself. She holds their daugther hostage. I was allowed to be around her for a time but her daughter started liking my daughter so now he has to go by himself to see his little girl and she has to be there. Its more so she can see him. She monopolizes his time. I am to the point of asking for a divorce because he sees nothing wrong with it. I confronted her and she says that he asks for the pictures. I know she lies because she has lied to our faces about boyfriends, getting married, etc. She wants him until she has him. My husband and I separated for three months our first year of marriage because she told him his daughter was dying so he moved back in with her. Come to find out she is not even sick. She calls him all day long and if she knows we are doing something she will call or send text messages. I know I can't live like this for 10 more years but my husband sees nothing wrong with it. My advice is to think long and hard before getting mixed up with someone who has a ex like the one you described. She will likely never go away. Mine hasn't. We gave his daughter her Christmas presents last year at a gas station because I am not allowed at her house for some reason but we can't have the child without her but my husband still talks to her. He is mad when she does things like that for awhile but she always seems to get him to fall into her spell again. I wish you all the best. ↑

Name: Nadia | Date: Nov 21st, 2007 10:06 AM

Welcome to the Club...!! The Ex-Wife-Is-Jealous-Because-He-Is-Happ
y-and-wants-to-make-his-life-miserabl
e
Club. Every single word you have spoken has happened to me. Only worse... because my boyfriend's ex has never had a man in her life since they divorced and she absolutely hates it. Hates it more because his 2 girls (10 & 12) think I am wonderful. So she tried to put a stop to that. Very cunningly though. Not by badmouthing me (that would be too obvious and juvenile) but by putting silly thoughts into their head. Having heavy discussions with them... "I know you still want dad and I to get back together & I know you would probably rather that Nadia is not there to take all your dad's attention away. But your dad is happy and he will probably want to move in with her soon and so I guess you have to learn to accept that she will be in your life all the time and that your dad might not have as much time for you as you as he had before." That was it... the eldest child turned from hanging off my every word, hugging me and saying how happy she was that dad met someone nice... to totally ignoring me. THEN... the ex calls a family meeting to say that it is obvious the girls arent coping with me in their lives and that I shouldnt go over when they are there. That my boyfriend should spend more time "alone" with the girls. There are a hundred more stories like that and what irks me is that she THINKS she is pulling the wool over our eyes. It isnt the girls who are having adjustment issues... its her. But what can you do? Unfortunately there is no answer except PRAY that she meets a man and gets off your back. The best way to react is not to react. Be a bigger person. Seems that is what you are doing anyway. My man used to take his ex wifes calls whenever she rang... but now he doesnt. It took him a while to realise what she was doing and now he has control. Of course she hates that. Yes, it is your boyfriends weekend and he can do what he damn well pleases... she isnt the social police. My man's ex even went as far as telling her daughter to take my photo off the fridge (at my boyfriend's place!!) because it upset her. When parents use their children to vent their emotions it is very wrong. At least your boyfriends little girl is only 3. Hang in there. Your man is worth it... and just ignore the cow. Of course, you can get your revenge quietly by doing exactly as you please. The more she protests... the more you should do it. Let her know who is boss. Good luck.. ↑