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Name: Karen

[ Original Post ]

I been with my husband for 17 years and have tried to do the best I can. But recently, when I asked him about having a third child, he told me I was being selfish. I knew there were underlying issues and I pressed him on it. I asked him about trying new things in the bedroom and experiencing new things in life. His response was "It's too late and why now after 17 years?" He said I was too old and that doing new things and using new toys in the bedroom would have been fun years ago. I'm only 38 but a comment like that makes me feel like I'm 60 or over the hill. I said that neither one of us has ever been with anyone this long. His response "maybe there's a reason for that. I said that my father and his second wife have now been together for 18 years. His response to me "Are you saying that second marriages are better?" When I don't press the baby issue, things are OK but he's questioning my motives for wanting to go places and do more things with him. He says "Why all of a sudden do you want to start going places?" PLEASE HELP. DOES HE WANT SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS YOUNGER. He's 44 now. Is this a stage that men usually go through and will it pass? Is anyone else going through something similar and are there other men out there who could give me a male perspective on this issue and what a wife could do to change this. I could really use someone to talk to. I love him so much and don't want to lose him. My parents are divorced. My dad left my mom for someone younger and I don't want my marriage to become a statistic. We never fight but I think he's bored with me. Is there anyone who would want to exchange e-mail addresses? I could really use the help. THANKYOU TO ANYONE WHO CAN HELP. ↓

Name: mizzescalante | Date: Jul 9th, 2007 5:24 PM

use reverse psycology on him. it always works. if he says he is too old tell him he probably is. here are more examples:

The underlying principle here is agreeing with her objection by taking the same position as her. It also evokes the scarcity principle and it makes her run after you like a moth to a flame.

This is what you do...

Her: "I just want to be friends."
You: "That is exactly what I was thinking and was going to suggest it myself. I think you and I would be better off as friends anyway."

Her: "I am not ready to make love."
You: "Now that you mention it neither am I. I think we should wait and really get to know each before we even consider having sex and just cuddle."

Her: "You cannot come upstairs."
You: "Now that you mention it, I am tired and really do not want to come up. If I was to come upstairs with you I could only stay for 10 minutes and then leave."

Her: "I am tired and I want you to take me home."
You: "Yes, you look tired and it's better I do that. I am tired myself and want to go home as well."

Her: "I have a bf/husband/no time/busy/pet died/not my type."
You: "Well I was just thinking that you seem interesting. I too have a gf/wife/no time/am busy/pet died/not my type and thought we could be just friends. I think you are a little too presumptuous about my interest in you here. If you cannot have a casual coffee with me then you can leave now." ↑