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Ok, Well I am a newly wed, have a five year old son, 20 years old, 23 weeks pregnant, and I am in the rmy. Here's my dilemma. I just recieved my son from my mom b/c i had him at such a young age and once my baby turns 4 months I am supposed to deploy to Iraq. My husband leaves in November when the baby is around three weeks old. I want to get out so that I can nuture my children like an ordinary mother but if I do that I will lose my college money and have to worry about bills. My husband says that he will take care of everything but I dont want to put that strain on him. I don't want to leave my kids for 6 months to year though. Any advice PLEASE? ↓
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| Name: ginny | Date: Jun 27th, 2005 8:36 PM |
| Do what your heart says you should do. I know money is important, but if it is at all possible, stay with your kids. They need you now more than ever. ↑ |
| Name: Jenni | Date: Jun 27th, 2005 9:20 PM |
| I agree with ginny. You have to make a sacrifice for the family, but it will be so worth it, you will miss so much. 6 months - a year is a long time. ↑ |
| Name: Tonia | Date: Jun 28th, 2005 2:26 AM |
| Rachel, I am in the Navy 25y/o w/a 16month old son and am 7weeks pregnant. I am coming up on my EAOS and will most likely extend my current contract because now is not a good time to get out. So, I now all to well about the decision that you have to make and the weight that they have on the family as my husband is also active duty Navy. The only advice I have for you is that as hard as it is you ahve to look to the future and the benefits you current actions and decisions will have on the family. I know it's hard to leave and it takes a damn strong woman to do it. But, mothers are the stongest prople that I know. You do what you have to do and good luck. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in your situation. ↑ |
| Name: Star | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 12:26 AM |
| Iam pregnant by a married man, did'nt mean to but now I don't know what to do. Any advice ↑ |
| Name: . | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 12:37 AM |
| *Star* start a new topic, so people can see your message in the right place. I think you are in a tough position, but I do not feel sorry for you at all, you took a chance messing with a married man, and that is wrong. How do you think his wife is going to feel when she hears this news? This is terrible. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 5:10 AM |
| Rachel, you should do what you feel is right whatever comes from your heart and if you have a good enough husband then he should take care of you guys. you can always go to college for a different career right. remember this you can always replace a job but you cannot replace the same person. I wish you the best of luck. ↑ |
| Name: Kristy | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 5:14 AM |
| Star, I would say tell the married man but if you do not want to then another good thing would be to move on with your life. Did you know the man was married. but do what you may feel is right. ↑ |
| Name: Dani | Date: Jul 16th, 2005 12:50 AM |
you should be able to get substantial loans for school to pay back later... and you can go to school completely online. That is what I am doing. I am 22 with a 2 year old. It will be worth it trust me. It has been difficult financially but money is nothinc compared to the love I get from my son. You can accomplish SO much more outside of the military.
Dani ↑ |
| Name: Dani (to STAR) | Date: Jul 16th, 2005 12:53 AM |
Forget all the angry comments from people. Everyone makes mistakes. That is a difficult situation... you need to look out for your child now. You need to decide what you will do to provide for him/her. It sounds like your relationship with the baby's father is unstable. If you want to provide stability for your child I would disassociate yourself from him. Just my advice.
Dani ↑ |
| Name: *** | Date: Aug 3rd, 2005 10:28 PM |
| Rachel, when is your time up exactly? When you say lose your college money do you mean the GI Bill? Seeing you are deploying to Iraq, as is your husband, the income made there should be sufficient enough to cover you leaving, as Iraq would be a high risk area. ↑ |
| Name: ilene | Date: Aug 3rd, 2005 10:35 PM |
| hey.. well every family goes through struggles and things but to nurture ur baby like u want is a once in life time chance for that one baby, just think on it really hard and be glad that u have a man who will stand byur side and who is there for u just let him do what he said and u care for ur babies cuz later u'll probley reget it. things will get better after they get older and u can go back to working or whatever u did b4. ↑ |
| Name: netta | Date: Aug 6th, 2005 3:20 AM |
| i agree with Ginny. Pray about it. After you pray its in God's hands. Just remember what God has for you it is for you! I'll have you in my prayers! ↑ |
| Name: Ale | Date: Aug 6th, 2005 5:00 AM |
| I think that you should spend time with your kids while their young and enjoy every moment. You can also look into school online. You can also later get a job later that will let you have more time with your children. I use to let my mom take care of my little girl and to this day I feel that she is more attached to grandma. It really hurts when she crys for her and not me. I know that if you decide to get out of the military there are good jobs out there that you could qualify for. The good thing is that you can later rejoin if you changed your mind. My husband rejoyed again. ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: Aug 6th, 2005 5:08 AM |
Isn't your husband already in there? My sister in law and her husband were in the SAME situation...She has a toddler and now that the baby is born they want her to leave for 6 months. If you ask me--I think she is making the right choice---Her and her husband have decided to keep dad in and she is getting out. She feels that there really isn't anyone better to raise her kids but her. I agree with her. Everyone is different and I am sure you will make the right choice for your family. If it were me--It would be a hands down thing. I would stay at home with my children. I have always worked and now that I have the opportunuty to stay at home, I realize how much of them I really was missing....
Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: tiffany to star | Date: Aug 10th, 2005 6:25 AM |
| U Should B Ashamed Of Urself And So Should He. Shame On U Both. ↑ |
| Name: anon | Date: Aug 10th, 2005 7:03 AM |
| hi star, i agree with dani, dont listen to everyone else, im not saying ite right to fool around with a married man, but at the end of the day hes the one thats married not you, you dont owe his wife anything, and regardless of weather you should or shouldnt have done it, your in a situation in which you need some support which is why we all come on here, my advice to you is to find out what the fathers intentions are, if he doesnt plan to support you fully then you should stop seeing him and not hve anythn to do wiht him as it will damaging to your child to have him keep coming in and out of its life...find yourself a nice decent man who will take care of you both, because even if this man offered to be with you you know hes capable of cheating so will do the same to you....i wish you all the best xx ↑ |
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