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I'm not sure what to do...lately my 14-year-old daughter has developed some particular eating habits and I'm worried she may have an eating disorder. I never see her eat breakfast (she insists she eats when she gets to school) or lunch (her lunch bag is always empty when she comes home, but that doesn't mean she ate it) and at dinner her food has to be arranged in a certain manner on her plate. No foods can touch and she just takes so little of everything and then barely eats it. She definitly looks as though she has lost weight but everytime I try to get her on a scale she yells at me. She's also become really moody and basically doesn't want anything to do with me or the rest of the family anymore. She used to be so loving and friendly. Is it just normal teenage rebellion and moodiness or should I be worried? If she does have an eating disorder, what do I do? I'm so worried. Please, any help will be really appreciated. ↓
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| Name: Bella54 | Date: Jun 13th, 2005 8:57 PM |
| My daughter started off the exact same way. I don't want to worry you unnecessarily, but you should get her to talk to a therapist or someone. My daughter would mysteriously lose her lunch or forget to eat it every day of the week. The more I pestered her about it, the worse it got. It is important to have some other than you talk to her about it...maybe a friend, or teacher, or counselor. Anorexia does have a big rebellion component in it, so you getting angry can feed the problem. Try to remain calm, and do some research on counselors in your area. Even if your daughter doesn't have an eating disorder, she probably has eating issues that should be dealt with. ↑ |
| Name: Mikcam98 | Date: Jun 26th, 2005 2:08 PM |
| My 13 year old daughter has developed strange eating habits also. She actually has lost 30lbs since January. She was first diagnosed as pre-anorexic. At this point the therapist and doctors are calling it anorexia not pre-anorexia. There is an awsome book called "Surviving and Eating Disorder" by Michele Siegel, Judith Brinsman, Margot Weinshel. The therapist recommended it. This has been the hardest thing I had to deal with in my life. ↑ |
| Name: Erin | Date: Jun 28th, 2005 7:07 PM |
| Thanks Bella54 and Mikcam98. I'll take a look for that book...Since I last wrote, I managed to get my daughter to the doctor and he seems to think she's anorexic and is suggesting therapy. This is so scary. ↑ |
| Name: Mikcam98 | Date: Jul 1st, 2005 4:11 AM |
| I understand how you feel! You're right it is crazy. I just can't believe that this is happening to "MY" daughter. This is something you see on TV or happens to a friends friend. I went to the doctor also and started taking something for depression. My out look on the situation has improved so I feel like I am helping my daughter more, because I can keep myself together better. Good Luck! ↑ |
| Name: Angela | Date: Jul 4th, 2005 5:27 AM |
I just took a course on eating disorders and know what I'm talking about! Anorexia should NOT be taken lightly! She needs a mom that will take control and force her to get into some type of treatment. It is very common in the early teens, all the symptoms you mentioned are classic signs.
Also remember that Anorexia is a SYMPTOM of a much bigger problem.
You are brave for calling out for help! You may have alerted other women about signs of Anorexia! GOOD LUCK! ↑ |
| Name: Erin | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 8:51 PM |
Thank you all for your kind words. My daughter and I are starting down the road to recovery (I hope). The doctor said to expect some bumps along the way but also said that the sooner we do something about it, the more likely she will be able to recover and be healthy. I'm still feeling scared and overwhelmed but knowing I'm not the only mom to be going through this has given me courage that I didn't know I could have.
Good luck to you all and thank you again for your help. ↑ |
| Name: Sam | Date: Jul 12th, 2005 8:57 PM |
hi...im probably not the best person to help..im 15 years old and i am anorexic but i would really like it if i could help u and ur daughter. i started off by skipping breakfast and lyin about eating in school and i got much worse...i dont want to upset of worry you in anyway i just want to help.i am now seeing a shrink about my problem and it helped alot.i have now put half a stone back on in weight.if you want any more help in how i got to see the shrink you can email me at [email protected]
thanks for ur time and i hope ur daughter is fine :) ↑ |
| Name: Zara | Date: Jul 19th, 2005 3:26 AM |
| I am a 14 yr old girl, I recently started thinking about becoming anorexic, because of peer pressure. My dad insisted on me and i got help by going to a psychyatrist, it helped alot. Talk to your daughter and see if she is happy with herself, if she's not, keep on telling her how beautiful she is, and if not, you still need to give her support and tell her that what she is doing is not good for her survival. Good Luck, and you have my best wishes. ↑ |
| Name: oz | Date: Jul 21st, 2005 8:57 AM |
| hi. im 18 and i have an eating disorder. i am currently at 115 and losing about 5 lbs a week. ive lost 20 lbs in a month. i do realize its a problem, and if your daughter has the same problem i know she knows it too. its just hard with all the expectations on girls these days to have the perfact bodies, but it might not even be entirely about her size. for me its control. when i get very upset i wont eat for days or ill binge and purge. this might be your daughters problem, but the worse thing you can do is pester her, let her know you are there for her, and there's nothing she could ever do that will make you love her any less, that in your eyes she is perfact, that she has no flaws, but its natural to feel like she isnt good enough in todays medias eyes. but dont pry into her life. when she is ready to talk, she'll come to you, and she may never be ready to talk to you, just because it might be ackward for her, if thats the case and she keeps getting worse and worse, ask her if she'd be willing to talk to someone else, maybe a therapist or maybe someone who is acually going through the same thing, like me for instance, i have been in contact with girls from all over the country, girls who suffer fron anorexia, bulimia, and self mutilation...i have been helping them, and they me, because we understand one another. we all are living the same nightmare. but you will ruin your relationship if you go all Dr. Phil on her. be very sly, because she has put a a wall between the two of you, and obviously with the rest of the family. in my family they all gang up on me and have "discussions" about my eating disorder right infront of me like in not there, dont talk to your family about it if there is any chance she will learn of the conversations cause she will feel the family is against her, she obviously feels really bad about herself already...she doesnt need any aid, you know what i mean? i am really sorry for your daughter, i do know how it affects the entire family, but this is about you daughter, not yall. keep her feelings first, she is at a very delicate stage in her life as it is, and if she does infact have an eating disorder, it will be the hardest time in her life and she will really need her mommie on her side. just be there for her. my email is [email protected] if you ever have any questions just write im only a click away, im here if you need anything. i am really sorry for all the pain you are being caused. ↑ |
| Name: Jennyleigh | Date: Jul 27th, 2005 7:16 AM |
| Im 14 too, im anorexic as well... i dont want my mom asking me about it, i just want her to leave me alone and let me just do this my way. im a cheerleader and im a top. if i eat a lot, then i could lose my spot. i still eat a little, just not much. i eat like maybe a cup of ricotta cheese a day or a few grapes for a meal. ↑ |
| Name: Luke | Date: Jul 30th, 2005 5:05 AM |
| Hello, I'm a 14 year old boy... This story sounds much like mine and i can almost garauntee that she has an ED... You must make her get on the scale, and seek help ass soon as possible ↑ |
| Name: Nicole | Date: Jul 30th, 2005 5:19 PM |
| HI. I'm 5.2 feet tall and I weight 105 pounds. I'm scared. I don't want to be fat. I'm starting to eat less. Please somebody just tell me I'm I fat? AM I skinny? Am I normal? Please I have no friends or family to help me I just need an answer. I don't want to start anorexia but I don't want to be fat. ↑ |
| Name: heidi | Date: Jul 30th, 2005 10:53 PM |
| I went to a website that said if your around 5 feet 3 inches and about 125 lbs.your healthy actually desireable ↑ |
| Name: Dj | Date: Jul 31st, 2005 6:52 AM |
| I myself am living with anorexia, and just recently decided to seek help...it definetly seems like your daughter has some sort of disorder, the best thing I can tell you is dont push her it will only frstrate her and make her hide it from you more, you need to maybe talk to her there is probabley a lot more behind it then her just not wanting to eat, maybe something at school...or even i hate to say at home.....But dont and I really maen dont force her to eat...It will only make her angry and make her hide it more, she might start throwing up or not eating at all except for what you give her....If she is anorexic then it is extreamly scary and very hard to get away from and recovery is so much more than just eating...I hope I havnt offended you in any way and i hope everything turns out for the best ↑ |
| Name: sphinx | Date: Aug 1st, 2005 1:31 PM |
| i have been having trouble with my weight for years, i'm 26 and now weigh 6 1/2 stone. For years i was saying that i could'nt put any weight on, but secretly not eating enough. Now going for days not eating at all. My mum was on at me the whole time, but i never saw what i was doing to myself.It has taken this long for me to see a gp, and i have now been refered to a therapist and a dietrican. I wish u and ur daughter luck, its not easy and scary for the pair of u. Please tell her u love her and surport her, not to force feed her that will more then likley lead to other problems. If you would like to chat or even your daughter pls contact me [email protected], i would love to try and help. ↑ |
| Name: jolene | Date: Aug 5th, 2005 11:18 PM |
| im 14 years old too. and i have seen other girls with the same problem even if they wiegh less than me. i wiegh 93 pounds but am NOT anorexic i eat more fatty foods than anyone. my advice is to tell your daughter that she doesnt have to live up to a certain standerd of what a teenage girl should look like. i have wanted to gain wieght at times, but took the advice of my friends to not care what i should look like. if your daughter is overwieght i suggest a heathly diet that will keep her eating. my friends mom even joined a diet with her. but if your daugter is fit already, let her know that people will like you just the way you are. maybe take her out shopping to see how she is feeling. i love it when me and my mom have some mother-daughter bondigng. good luck. ↑ |
| Name: Irma | Date: Aug 8th, 2005 7:10 PM |
| I have just realized (duh mom!) that my just-turned 13 year old daughter has lost almost 10% of her previously thin body weight. We just moved from another state and she was horribly upset by the move (she had just fallen "in love" and that made it worse), in fact she was hysterical for a few days. Got her to see a therapist (once) and she seemed to get better. Somehow I noticed she was getting thinner (she is 5'4" and weighed 106 lbs, now she is 97 lbs), but when friends came to visit they noticed. She has been throwing her lunches away and has little appetite. Now I know from my adolescence that whenever I got very upset I did lose my appetite, and in fact, when I was 16 I got down to 95 lbs (at 5'5"). Never saw a therapist and recovered just fine. Anyway I don't know what to believe. My friend who is visiting says her daughter says Ariel has been talking about being to fat for about 9 months, but to me she always said she liked her weight. As recently as 3-6 months ago she was still eating a lot and showing no signs of weight loss or purging. My friend (who does tend to be a know it all) says she'll have to go into the hospital soon. But her bones don't stick out and she still gets a period. I am wondering if there is a difference between actual anorexia and weight loss due to being miserable and depressed. I am not in denial, just want to know how much to panic right now!! Any ideas? I did get a recommendation to a therapist. And she is eating much better now, I got her up to 1500 calories yesterday(and no, she's not purging--I keep her with me after meals!!) Any input would be welcome. ↑ |
| Name: jade | Date: Aug 10th, 2005 11:27 PM |
| i think my daughter has an eating dissorder because she has lost weight a lot over the last few weeks and every 1 is noticeing it even her frends are but she has just broke up with her boyfriend and her frends hav told me shes taking a lot ov tablets i never c her eat and she has gone down from a size 12 to a ten and i dont no wot to do ↑ |
| Name: Laura | Date: Aug 15th, 2005 8:45 PM |
| Hi, i'm Laura and i'm 15. I also have an eating disorder and i think it may be anorexia...can someone please help [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Ashleigh | Date: Aug 18th, 2005 5:38 AM |
Hey, I'm Ash and I'm 14. I have Anorexia Nervosa and it sounds like your daughter does too. I don't want to make you worry but you have to do something about it before it gets as bad as my case (I've been admitted into hospital 3 times and had to be drip fed). You need to take her to a doctor, but don't tell her why. It may seem unfair, and it is, but if she thinks people are going to make her eat then she definitely won't go. Let the Doctor decide if she does really have a problem or not. And if she does, then he will tell you what to do next.
I hope I was of some help?
And Goodluck. ↑ |
| Name: carie | Date: Aug 25th, 2005 2:12 PM |
| why do you feel this way about your self ↑ |
| Name: Louise | Date: Aug 27th, 2005 6:12 AM |
| The only way you can help someone with an eating disorder without physically forcing them to do things is to be there for her. I know it will be hard on your behalf and very frustrating, but the first step to recovery is for the victim to realise themselves that there is something wrong and that have lost control. If you are there and do not make yourself her enemy by going against her trust, she will turn to you. You are her mother, she knows you love her, but at the moment her pride is too high to admit she needs your help. At the moment I think all she needs to know is that her family still love her and are not against her, afterall one of the main causes of anorexia is low self-esteem, so to know that she is loved and not isolated from her loved ones will help her overcome that. I know it is hard, but realising the next step is a waiting game. I'm not saying that you should ignore that fact that she's changed her eating habits, but each time you approach her on the subject try to be tolerable of her mood swings and agression. She may say hurtful things to you, but it is probably just her aggression reflexes and defence mechanisms that she is using to try and stay in control. It is her way of coping and a common trait of the disorder. It will be frustrating for you, but just be there to love her. If she does become far worse you will have no choice but to involve a GP or take another form of medical action, but don't do this alone. You do not have to be alone in this either, it is quite common and many mothers know what both you and her are going through. Be brave. I don't know how helpful this is to you, but I was a sufferer so I know how your daughter could be feeling. It took time for me to realise I had a problem and it was humiliating admitting that I needed help, but frustrating when I found it so hard to accept. Another good piece of advice is not to force your daughter into impossible situations where she will feel intimidated and scared. e.g. try to avoid going out to restaurants, big meal functions etc. They're just small things, but will help her feel more at ease. Force is only a good idea if you have no other choice and her long-term health is at risk. I wish you all the best Erin, good luck. ↑ |
| Name: saskia | Date: Aug 27th, 2005 4:29 PM |
| hi am 13 years old and i have been makin my self sick and not eatin sometimes i dont know what to do also i have tryed everything to lose it and nothin has worked i would also love if some 1 would email me on [email protected] who has it plz i need to talk X thanks X ↑ |
| Name: Cheryl | Date: Sep 9th, 2005 10:42 PM |
| You should be worried and seek help for your daughter immediately. I have suffered with anorexia for the past 10 years. I am currently in recovery again and always working hard not to have a relapse. All of your daughter's behaviors indicate a strong correlation to anorexia especially the manner in which the food must be on the plate and her isolation from the family. You need to get your daughter in therapy immediately because the problem will only worsen, and you are not qualified to give her the help she needs. She will fight you on this, but you must take drastic measures to protect her. ↑ |
| Name: ashley | Date: Sep 9th, 2005 11:46 PM |
| Hello. i used to have an eating dissorder... it sounds alot like how i was.. i was very mean ti everyone because my hormones were messed up because i was eating very little. I was worried about wut others thought and i felt like i couldnt control anything but what i ate. It felt like everyone wanted me to be this person i wasnt/. so i stopped eating. Im still not sure if it was for attention or control. So my mom did alot of things to help me.. she had me see a doctor and she always reminded me that she loved me and would always love me no matter who i wanted to be.. she also helped me with things instead of ordering me around. try it and get back to me... ↑ |
| Name: Lauren | Date: Sep 18th, 2005 11:39 PM |
| im 12 and i just got over being anorexic i would take her to the doctor be safe i lost 87 lbs in 2 months i went from 145 to 58 lbs if she is pushing it around her food she proble is and she might not be take care may god be with you lauren NC ↑ |
| Name: Emily | Date: Sep 29th, 2005 11:58 PM |
| Im 11 and anexoric, I went from 110 ibs to 70 in a few months. Being anexoric is awful, let me tell you that. GET YOUR DAUGHTER HELP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. Im on the verge of death...:-( ↑ |
| Name: sarah | Date: Sep 30th, 2005 10:56 AM |
| well when i was that age (im now 20yrs old)everything in my life was bad.no one could tell me other wise especilly my mum.You see your daughter is at a age where nothing but herself matters.i think if you are asking her to get on the scales then you are telling her theres something wrong with her and if she does have a eating disorder this will not help.I can remember doing lots of silly things like that but when i think about it now it was all for attention.If this is the case i think the less attention you give her the better things will be.I know it must be hard for you but she needs to be able to find herself,she needs to able to learn from her mistakes.Dont live your life through her.Just love her the way she is,be a freind and let her know you are always there for her.good luck ↑ |
| Name: annie-rexic | Date: Nov 2nd, 2005 12:57 PM |
| am i anorexic? i have cut out on all foods and sometimes i have something to eat but then i bring it up...i want to be thin and ill do anything to become thin...the way that im going,am i anorexic?im 5,2 and weigh 8, stone..please,i need your advice. ↑ |
| Name: 123crofty | Date: Nov 2nd, 2005 10:36 PM |
| im 14yrs old 7st 2lb and i feel very fat as my parents are making me gain weight because they think i have a eating disorder ↑ |
| Name: johnny | Date: Nov 3rd, 2005 7:10 PM |
| get her to the hopsital as soon as possible, this is huge signs of anorexia. ↑ |
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