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Name: eatingprob

[ Original Post ]

I have had issues with my weight for 11yrs. I have always wanted to be thinner. When I was in middle school, I was a little on the heavy side. My mom was not happy.. So I was sent to a specialist for my prob. It helped i watched what i ate. I became compulsive. I was skinny about 105. That was until I got married and pregger, I was 179lb. I lost all the weight except for 10 to 12lb. That just wanted to stick around. In the past to keep my weight down I would pop some pills here and there for energy and apitite control. 2yrs ago I started using them all the time along with other forms of speed. For a long time I could control my eating w/o speed. Now I cant. My husband and I would do some together or with friends sometimes. He never new it was all the time w/ me. He made me stop and no more ever in the house. I was so thin. I like it and I liked myself. I could bye great clothes and look good in them. I felt good about
myself. That was 6 month ago. I gained 18lbs. Can't fit into 1/2 my clothes. I feel so ugly. When look @ myself I feel grose. Somestimes I wish I were gone. I have seen docs and I have been hospitolised 1 or 2 times, it was always breef. Hell i cant spell. Anyway what it comes down too. I needed serious help long ago. I am beyond help. I will never be perfect enouph , it started with my mom.. If this is just starting for you get help now!!! Let me tell you if you have a eating disorder it will kill u. I have Heart problems and i dont care. I want to be thinn. ↓

Name: Cos | Date: Dec 20th, 2005 8:47 PM

Read what you wrote. You DO care about yourself! It's just hidden behind how you want others to see you. Look to the depth of your pain. Who do you want to look thin for? Your husband? Your mom? Yourself? Think about it. Immprove those relationships and take your time. Don't focus on your eating. Eat what you want. Picture this] How do you see yourself in 10 years? Still obsessing about your weight and drugs? I've been there hon, I'm still there. Much love your way! ↑

Name: Christene | Date: Jan 11th, 2006 4:49 PM

I can understand how you feel I was a chubby teenager and that's when it all started...I am in the worse place right now..I can't stop the bingeing and purging. I like the feeling of control. But I know that it is soooo unhealthy for me. I have gone between anorxeia and bulimia and they truely suck! ↑

Name: barbara | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 11:29 AM

i guess you don't mind dying then. I don't understand how you could sacrifice your life without even trying to get better when you have a child that needs you. I have suffered greatly thru anorexia, and still am, but at least I am trying to get better. Of course you don;t want to, no one with anorexia really wants to unless they experience a near death experience as i have. i have posted my story of my experience with ana on some of the other threads (Re: the girl who posted" i want to become anorexic". it's nice and all to tell everyone that ana could kill you, but ddo you listen to what tyou write here? Ask your child what they's do without mommy around. At least get better for your child. Before your situation gets worse-i beg of you. Take it from a girl who is severely ill from anorexia and is attached to a feeding tube and fighting to live. ↑

Name: Depressed Boi | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 1:50 AM

Is there a reason wemon are so vain....? seriously your husband loves you right? you arent fat with heath problems? YOUR SKINNY WITH THEM!!!!!! 20 years down the road if your still alive you will regret this because youll realize...... you were cared about and still are being vain isnt going to help one bit and if you ABSOLUTLY MUST lose wheight WORK FOR IT execize, diet(like adkins not anorexia or bulima].]) I can understand your vainityto a certin point.... you want your husband to love you but i seriously doubt that.

no one is beyond saveing... they are just beyond careing and if you passed that then ask your husband if he would rather have u dead ans skinny or normal and alive............

P.S. i cant spell ether lolz ↑

Name: easton | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 10:19 PM

think thin. ↑