Hi,
I'm 25 years old. I'm from the uk. When I was younger I was always naturally thin (very, very) so much so that people constantly accused me of being Anorexic or Bulimic!!! But seriously I wasn't I ate like a horse (didn't purge)...I know I was very lucky!!!! I never had to think about what I was eating or what I weighed. When I did weigh myself I was slightly under weight but never worried because I was eating!!! Anyway time passed and I had a few mental health issues which I was treated for!!! I met a guy and moved in with him and became a compulsive eater much more than ever!!! Slowly I gained weight until I became over weight...(approx a few stones) I completely freaked out because I was always thin...i couldn't cope with the weight gain!!! I was so depressed that I just eat more!!! Anyway recently I have been having trouble with my mental health issues again and felt so isolated and hated myself!!! My doc didn't help...he just gave me a questionnaire to fill in and said come back in a month...you know like on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want to kill yourself...Like you can fill it in if your dead (over the top but you know what I mean) !!! I started a diet to loose the weight but went over board only eating no more than 500 cals a day...I lost nearly a stone and felt so happy... but people noticed me not eating and also I missed my food so started binging....seriously!!! I became so guilty and scared...I tried to purge but couldn't at first (it was horrible, my eyes were streaming, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to breakout of my chest, I was retching, my nose was running and my face was red!!! I vowed not to try again!!!)...only prob is i'm still doing it and now i'm getting expert at it and i'm so scared !!! I just spiralling out of control!!! I can't stop...I hate myself for doing it but can't put weight on!!! The complete worse thing is I think I might be pregnant!!! I've missed a period, my nipple are so so painful (which they never are), I feel queezy all the time!!! I'm too scared to take a test in case I am and I have to deal with it!!! I'm scared I wont be able to stop...but don't want to hurt my baby!!! I know I'm being so selfish putting it off!!!...I know the risk even if I'm not pregnant!!! I just need someone to talk to I've never been so scared....and I know I'm not a wee girl so should know better but I can't cope!!!! ↓
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