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no matter what i do i always end up eating entirely way toooo much, throwing it up, and doing again, about 5 time a day. It is ruining me and i hate it. my throat hurts all the time and i hate being with people because i cant binge in front of them. I dont think i can ever be fine around food again. ↓
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| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 2nd, 2007 12:37 AM |
| I can relate to your dilemma. I feel the exact same way! I dread being around people, too. I want to stop this behavior...but the more I want to stop...it seems the more out of control I become. I know how you feel. I am wishing you the best. I hope we can talk and receive help through this thread. ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 2nd, 2007 2:08 AM |
| yeah i am realy trying to stop but it just keeps getting worse. How old are you? and how long have you had an ED? Im really hoping we can get some help too ↑ |
| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 2nd, 2007 3:19 AM |
I have been a bulimic for a very long time. Although, not actively the entire time. I am now 42. I started when I was 18. There have been periods of inactivity during those years. I am now actively bulimic and very unhappy! It is a very bad lifestyle which will probably result in my untimely death! I hope we can support each other. I am trying some tricks. I am trying to drink more hot tea, water, and low sugar natural juices, to keep myself feeling full so I am not tempted to binge. I am hoping it works.
Can you eat a normal meal without feeling guilty or remorseful? I can't. I want to be able to eat like a normal average person. ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 2nd, 2007 3:28 AM |
| yeahi know what you mean, every time i go out to eat with my family or something i end up eating so much, not purposely, and then finding myself all fidgety until i can get it all out of me. Every time i even think about food i try and firgure out how easy or hard it would be to throw up. I hate it ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 2nd, 2007 11:24 PM |
| how is the tea and juice working??? becuase maybe that might work for me too. youll have to tell me ↑ |
| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 3:16 AM |
Hi 951753,
Thank you for talking with me! Well I have just started the juice and tea over the course of the last few days. It seems to be helping a bit. I am replacing my urge to binge with the aformentioned liquids. I am hoping it will sort of detox my system as well...from all the sugar and starches I consumed during the holidays!
I am trying so hard. I purged once today. I am not happy about it. But, I did eat at least one "normal" meal sans purge! Thanks again for the correspondence! P.S. I drink a really natural and 100% Cranberry Juice....it is extremely tart! I cut it with diet ginger ale! It is quite delicious and refreshing! Yummy! Talk with me again soon okay? ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 8:57 PM |
if you want to talk some more my email address is [email protected]
it might be easier to talk back and forth ↑ |
| Name: AnA4LyF | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 6:21 AM |
| just stop frikon eating man its honestly not all that hard if you put your mind to it buster.I dont eat,anything,why must you eat?and Im obese. i weigh 123 kg thats enough to put you off food, for life and life after death although Im not actually to sure if theres life after death as Iv never died before haha a cat should know they have 9 lives, although this one time ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 5th, 2007 8:40 PM |
| dont you think that i would have stopped by now if it was that easy? you really dont help, you know that ↑ |
| Name: maggie sue | Date: Jan 7th, 2007 2:52 AM |
| hey i know what you mean when you say its hard for you to stop the crazy b/p cycle...ive been both bulimic and anorexic for over five years now...ive been in recovery multiple times. its hard...i still havent recovered from it and like you i dont think i will ever have a good relationship with food...its scary to think about so if you ever need to talk or anything you can always email me at [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:37 AM |
Hi 951753 and all others who take this site seriously, and don't want to use it as a "how to have an ED" site!
I wanted to update you. I have been drinking the pure cran. juice and diet gingerale and tea. I was doing pretty well, but then I went off the deep end! I started binging like crazy for about 2 days. Now, I feel like I am getting myself back in line. When I want to binge, I usually choose foods that are not terribly unhealthy. We don't keep junkfood in our house. My new craze is napa cabage! I love it! I make homemade eggdrop soup with bokchoy/waterchestnuts/mushrooms and broth. Then, I break up fresh cold napa cabbage on the top of it. It is very filling! If I am going to binge--at least I should try to eat food that is somewhat healthy! I just wish I didn't feel the need to binge....it always leads to a purge! ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 3:40 AM |
| well im realyl glad that it worked for a little while but at least you found something that is helping. The other night my sister was home (she usually never stays at my house) and she came down stairs when i was binging and asked me how i was eating so much and i just said that i was really huingry.. I didnt know what else to do and i was really nervous and couldnt binge becuase i thought she might get suspicious so i stayed in my room all night doing situps and stuff. it was horrible, much worse than purging. I dont know what i would do if anyone ever found out. ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 10:54 AM |
well try and see this as a kick back to reality, you didn't get caught this time but imagine is you were caught being sick.
I know what it is like turning your music up loud so no one can hear you binging and spraying yourself and bedroom of perfume to get rid of the smell of bile and sick.
When someone does find out all the peices of the puzzle will fit together.
Please see it as like a wake up call to get help.
Bulimia like other ED's are disgusting evil 'diseases' we should not let them beat us, why should we let food destroy our lives.
Instead of using control to control, what we eat, when we eat, when to binge, when to through up, we should use our control to control the ED so it goes away and we beat it! ↑ |
| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 1:16 PM |
Lucie,
I am trying to control my ED by choosing healthy foods and beverages that will help to control my binging behaviors. I am not sure, but it sounded like you think we enjoy this. I certainly don't enjoy this lifestyle. I am trying to change. It is not like a lightswitch I can turn off. It is much more complicated and difficult. I am trying, and I believe that 951753 is trying too! That comment about "let this be a lesson to you" sounded very judgemental. If this was not your intention, then I am sorry. However, that is how it sounded to me. I try to live by this motto: It is not what you say or how you say it....it is how it was and/or is perceived.
Fondly,
MadelineRose ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 1:21 PM |
Madeline,
i know how it feels i am Bulimic and no it was not an ofeensive thing what i said, it should be a wake up call for 951753. My mom found out i was bulimic when i was 13 and now when i am 19, i see it as a wake up call to get my life back on track!
it's not too late to change ↑ |
| Name: MadelineRose | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 1:27 PM |
Sorry Lucie....I was just feeling overly sensitive. I just know (and you obviously know too)how difficult it is. I am very impressed that you have taken the reigns and stopped this behavior. I only wish I had your strength to stop "cold turkey." I am trying to change my behaviors little by little. Then over time, my hope is that I will eventually find that I am no longer needing to binge and purge.
I hope I will talk to you again Lucie. I am sorry if I was oversensitive.
MadelineRose ↑ |
| Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 1:35 PM |
Hi MadelineRose
Lucie had bulimia and she hasn't made her self sick for about 4 weeks.
She understands hence her putting spraying her room with perfurm and turn her music up.
I think you took it the wrong way.
Lucie has tried very very hard and she has been succeful but she isn't fully recovered and may never been.
But i know it has been hard for her.
Any one who tries to give up an ED finds it very hard.
I tried to stop when Lucie did as we had each other for support but i failed and im not being sick anymore im just not eating at all.
I can understand how hard it is i tried so anyone that tries to give up have my 100% respect coz i cant do it.
Ally ↑ |
| Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 1:36 PM |
| Sorry MadelineRose didn't know Luciehad already answered. ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 2:27 PM |
thanks Ally your a star!!
madeline it s ok forget bout how you took, i take things the wrong way all the time!
my advice for anyone who wants to stop is to cut down the behaviour bit by bit. At my worst i was making myself sick atleast once a day then on the weekends it could be as many as five times.
i just cut it down to one day on and one day off and took it from there.
I only saw the light to stop because my mom found out and with the 100% support and friendship off ALLY i have been very successful so far, i don't want credit for it cus i beleive it is down to my mom and ally!
lucie
x ↑ |
| Name: ally murphy | Date: Jan 10th, 2007 3:22 PM |
Thanks chik
You wanted to stop so it was mainly you.
Remember it is only you that stopped it.
x ↑ |
| Name: 951753 | Date: Jan 11th, 2007 2:30 AM |
i had a really bad day today and purged alot and just couldnt stop
i even thought about different ways of ending this all
not good ways
i thought that if anyone found out how i would fix it and the only way i could fix it was to end it all
i even thought of the way to do it
backups
everything ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 10:20 AM |
if your talking about suicide 951753 then please think again. You can beat this evil ED trust me. Don't let it beat you that's what it wants!
x ↑ |
| Name: belle | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 7:24 AM |
| Too be honest I feel like I have had this dibilitating disease since I was 16. I have good days and bad days, great months and horrible month. I wonder how to really combat this, but this is a total trick of the mind, that's the most difficult to overcome. The body is easily fueled by good food and exercise, but how do you shut off your mind to stop reminding that bingeing even for a moment will make you happy and forget about your worries or problems or concerns. ↑ |
| Name: lucie | Date: Jan 31st, 2007 9:54 AM |
thats a hard one belle, it took time with me and a lot of it. and you have to find something else to make you happy instead of binging and throwing up. it is possible but it is truly hard and only attempt to 'change' this behaviour if you feel you are ready!
lucie ↑ |
| Name: jackie100 | Date: Oct 28th, 2007 9:43 PM |
| hey. At night in the middle of the night I will binge and binge and then drink laxitive tea so strong I have to spend the next day at home because I must be near a bathroom for the entire day. i am so sick of doing this to myself ↑ |
| Name: reximus | Date: Nov 1st, 2007 12:16 AM |
| i know exactly how you feel - i avoid any situation where there will be food and a lot of people because i know i will binge and am scared i won't be able to purge fast enough with people around. I can go only 1 or 2 days at then vety most without doing it and i keep telling myself when i make it through 1 day that this is the beggining of finally getting control but it never lasts. my email is [email protected] if you want to talk more ↑ |
| Name: danceR | Date: Mar 6th, 2009 8:34 PM |
| i feel your pain. somehow i have ended up on the same path.... at first i only purged after a bigdinner once every few months.. or just before a visit to my long distance boyfriend. But now, i am unemployed and do it everyday. it doesnt help that my boyfriend is contntly and easily losing weigh to reveal his perfect abs and loves girls with that "indie skinny" look.. i am very petite but have large boobs and curves. its so hard--- i want to stop.. i miss loving my body .. ↑ |
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