Hi i need some advice, I have an 11 year old, soon to be 12 girl that is, Her attitude is out of this world, let me give you some examples. When she asks to go to a friends i say yes go but be back here at 5pm, she comes back but also to find out she went to the store without permission, she should have called and told me where she was going, she does not seem to think she did anything wrong, and also yesterday and "boy" called, and asked for her, and i asked who is speaking, and he told me, then i said she is going to have to call you back, then she finally calls him back, and i told her to get off the phone because her homework is not completed, and she said ok i will call you back. to find out he calls 5 mins later, and then i tell her again, Like most kids when the phone rings they run for it, and then it happens like 4 more times, then i got fed up, and i asked her straight out, "why is he calling" she sat there with her head down saying, he is a friend calling to talk, i said like 5 times, No no, there is a reason why he is calling, i said tell me why,. and she came out and said " I don't have to tell you why he is calling" And i said Really , when you are in my home and using my phone, i have the right to know why he is calling this house so many times,
I almost lost it with her, she seems to think she has done nothing wrong, you can take the computer away her phone talk time away , not going out side away does not work, So her birthday is Saturday and i told her that she will lose her birthday if she does not smarten up, then she was like, you can't take that away, its my Birthday, and i said watch me, and then she calls me Mean, You ruin my life, and she tries so hard to make me a bad Mother, i am not, i told her if she would do what she is told , she would have more freedom, and she does not seem to listen, its like talking to a wall, I repeat my self over and over and over again, she treats me bad, I told her there is no way am i going to let her away with that attitude with me, I told her if i ruin your Life so much, why don't you go live with your dad, and she was like, I am not going any where , this is My house, You can't make me,
See what i mean ?
Disappointed Mother,
Help i need advice i am going Insane, perhaps someone has went through almost the same thing. ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 21st, 2007 7:50 PM |
| O.k. for starters you need to cease her phone calls entirely. Or if you want you can eavesdrop in on another phone and find out that way what her and the boy are up to. If she doesn't respect you then she doesn't deserve a birthday party,plain and simple.Tell her once she can do as she's told, and answer your questions without attitude,then MAYBE she can have her phone priviledges back again but for now she is going to have to EARN it! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 21st, 2007 7:53 PM |
| postpone her b-day a couple weeks and see if she shows improvement. If she does then go ahead with a party,but if not,then she doesn't get one at all this year! Tough love! You can't let her walk on you and still get her way. ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 1:03 PM |
Hi, I know how your feeling! I have an 11yo. daughter who wil be 12 in May. I just got told this a.m. I am the "meanest" mother in the world among other things....b/c I took away her horse riding lessons this week. She has the same attitude. I knew she thought I was gonna give in to her this a.m. And...I admit, in the past I have. I too am tired of her smart mouth & attitude towards me! (lack of respect)
As Lizzi says...we must stand our ground...tough love! It is going to be sooooo hard for me to not let her go this afternoon or tomorrow. Lord, I can hear her in my ear now! And...it breaks my heart to hear some of the things she tells me...b/c she is my life! I'm going to need all the strength I can get today!
p.s. we have taken away the phone, t.v., comp. etc. to no avail. Hopefully this one works for a few? Wish me luck! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 2:52 PM |
| GOOD LUCK Lory!!! I heard on a talk show once that if your child has never said they hate you then you AREN"T doing your job,LOL I fall lenient with curtis at times instead of sticking to my guns. I know I shouldn't do that but sometimes it's just too hard to stay in the punishing mood! Curtis is an only child so he is a little spoiled I guess. He is growing up on me so fast.Sometimes I cry when I think back to him as a baby and toddler and compare him to now,this tall skinny kid who's about to turn 16!!!! I miss him being little so much some days. But yet when he was little it seems I couldn't wait for him to be bigger,older,and more independant! I should have never had my tubes tied and then when curtis turns 16 I could have tried for a second one and lived those days all over again with another baby but oh well,what's done is done! We couldn't afford another one anyway so I guess it's just as well that things are as they are. I'll always have the memories! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 2:58 PM |
| ....................and a grandbaby one day but that's not the same! :( ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 3:19 PM |
My bio clock has been ticking lately! I actually brought out her baby book the other day, and thought alot about these last 11 yrs. all the way back to my pregnancy! I brought up a baby to my hubby (which I cannot have anymore either) and he about died. What?..oh, he!! no...I'm tired of being broke he says. As if she's the one who put us in the poor house! lol butthole!!!!
Yeah, Lizzi she's an "only child" in this house. And...I have spoiled her too. Now...I guess I'm paying the price. lol
I do have "step-grandbabies" but...don't get to see them as much as I would like. (the x) That's actually what my hubby told me to do to cure my clock...go visit Mel (oldest daughter) She just had her 3rd child Feb. 20th. She's 21!! He said that would cure me!! Nah...not right now it won't!! LOL!!! ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 3:28 PM |
| Name: Gloria | Date: Mar 22nd, 2007 5:44 PM |
Thank you everyone, She acted out again lastnight, screaming at the top of her lungs, saying i deserve a birthday party, and also screaming saying i am a good girl for attention, for someone to feel sorry for her and come to her rescue, She is doing it for me to come running, But i did not, she got me so angry, I just can't believe kids these days, I told her things could be so much easier if she would just follow the rules, Her saying was. " Mom is part of growing up being this way" Ha ha, Funny, because i told her, no its not, I said when you come in this house you walk in here with Respect, and do what your told, what you have attiude out this door is one thing, but in this house you don't even think about it, I am not letting this child walk all over me anymore, End of story, It hurts being called Mean, i ruined her life, I use to to cry it hurts so much,
But i can't let her win, She needs to wake up and start acting the right way!
Anyways thank you everyone, And good Luck Lory, Its tough, But don't give up, Sometimes its hard, But you have to stand tall and be tuff ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 23rd, 2007 1:15 AM |
| Yep Gloria,it's better to straighten her out now than later. It is hard but if your effort pays off then all the hard work was worth it!!! Kids need to understand that they have PARENTS for a REASON!!!!! They might not always like our RULES but hey we only have them for THEIR protection and to hopefully mold them into respectable young adults. They may not always understand the "why's" but when they grow up they will look back and THANK us for being tough,(hopefully)! And when they have kids of their own,that's when it will REALLY click with them on WHY we were the way we were with them FINALLY!!! and then they will be the SAME way with their children! We're only trying to be good parents,that's all. And being a good parent also means discipline as well as love and rewards! ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 23rd, 2007 8:44 PM |
Thank-you Gloria for your words of encouragement! No...I'll never give up on her....just the hormones raging I'm assuming?lol You hang in there yourself. Lizzi always has the best advice!
Have a good one!! ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 23rd, 2007 8:54 PM |
| BTW....I gave in...she went to her lesson!! I know....I need to get stronger!! But...she pinky promised her Dad that she would get her room clean "before" next weeks lessons! LOL!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Mar 24th, 2007 9:38 PM |
"Pinky promised" Lory? LOL Well o.k.,but you HAVE to make SURE she cleans or she REALLY doesn't go to the NEXT lessons!!!!!! LOL
By the way,thanks for the compliment,(that i give good advice),I try!!! :):):) ↑ |
| Name: Lory | Date: Mar 25th, 2007 7:04 PM |
| Yeah Lizzi, I think she has her Dad wrapped around her lil finger more than myself!! LOL! He's a huge push over when it comes to her! Daddy's girl! LOL! ↑ |
| Name: CutsBruises | Date: Mar 30th, 2007 4:24 PM |
| i think your being really, over causious and strict, shes only 11 or 12, btw dont ever say to her go live with your dad, that hurts love.. pesonal experience their.. and when you go out you do wonder off places, she doesnt need to call you if she says ill be at the park and goes to the toilet.. also tgat boy calling sounds like her boyfriend.. now friends are that persistant, ciao darling ↑ |
| Name: Holly__rp | Date: Apr 11th, 2007 11:49 PM |
| ok by being a teen you are way to controling. if a boy called you should let her talk to him. and i dont see why she should tell you where she goes as long as she tells you who shes with. you should never postpone a birthday party cuz if she crakes she might run away. Would you like if she answered the phone and it was for you and she told them you would call them back? ↑ |
| Name: britanyhrei9 | Date: May 18th, 2007 3:42 AM |
| im 15 me and my mom go through this stuff. im a guy by the way. all the time she tells me to do certain things like go to bed and get off the phone. theres probably nothing wrong. shes just trying to make you mad. ive done it plenty of times. just ground her for a while. its not that hard. parents make a big deal about nothing. whatever you do, DONT RESORT TO PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT. thats just stupid. last time my dad grabbed me, we got into a fist fight. he hasnt done it since. i dont have anger problems. just if people touch me i retailiate. just a nice long grounding. ↑ |
| Name: DefendUs | Date: May 29th, 2007 12:07 AM |
| Pospone her b day. Or cansle it. What ever works. Then block said boys phone calls. ↑ |
| Name: jess93 | Date: Jun 12th, 2007 4:49 AM |
| i am a teen and i will admit i have a really bad attitude but since my mom sent me to my dads for a week i have straightened out a little and she took my curtains and my windows are on the side that the sun comes up in. she also took my door[she copied a movie] and i couldn't stand it so i have gotten better and a whipping also helps[hurts but helps] it straightened me out real quick when i got my first smack for cusing and i haven't done it since. she will always have an attitude but it can be brought down to a minimum like mine was. and if you have to "ruin her life" as long as you have to cause it will get through her skull eventually ↑ |
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