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Name: maryjane4175
[ Original Post ]
Being a step-mom is so hard but being a step-mom of teens is even harder. My step kids live with my husband and I full time. My kids live with their father full time, because their father is dieing with a brain tumor. Their father is not as big on the kids staying innocent as my husband and I are. My ex does not teach them against sex, drugs, smoking, but I don’t want to make them move in with me because they want to spend as much time with their dieing father as they can and I don’t blame them. So what is more important, my kids spending limited yet valuable time with their father, or them growing up with good values, and ample teachings against all the things that most of us feel so strongly about.
Also, my step kid’s father has taught them some awesome values. His daughter as on A honor role and is a very good kid, his son is too. Neither of my step-kids would even think about sex, drugs, or smoking yet, and I don’t want them to yet, that will eventually come soon enough, so knowing that my kids are being taught the exact opposite than my step-kids I am scared that my kids will start becoming bad influences for my step-kids. As a step-mom, and my loyalty to my husband and his teachings I feel it is my duty to protect his kids from my kids, but I don’t know how with out making my kids feel like I love my step-kids more because I don’t I love them in a different way and it is not more or less but different. Please help!!!
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Name: lindalu | Date: Feb 13th, 2008 10:49 PM
If the step children are teens they are thinking about sex, sex is some thing that is a part of life and cant be avoided. I do think that your children should be allowed to spend as much time with their dieing father. Regardless of where they are living they can still be tough morals such as you mentioned above, the only thing you cant instill in them is to not have sex all kids will eventually have sex. 

Name: maryjane4175 | Date: Feb 14th, 2008 6:46 PM
hey lindalu
I have no doubt that my step son is thinking of sex a little, but thinking about sex and acting on those thaughts are different. No matter what a teenager having sex is not a good thing even if it is a part of life. How do I make sure my ex is teaching them morals, and if he does not teach them morals should I expose my step kids to them being taught the exact opposite? 

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