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Name: Lisa
[ Original Post ]
More and more I see here where young children as young as 13 years old are engaging in sex acts and ending up pregnant or worried if they've possibly contracted a disease.What I would like to know is where in the world are these childrens parents and why aren't they more involved in their childrens lives to see to it that this type of behavior doesn't happen with their kids?Do some people think " we'll,I've carried you for 9 months so I've done my part now you're on your own or what?" It's very disturbing the # of teen pregnancies that there are and I believe it's because their parents haven't done their job raising them properly.What are your thoughts?
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Name: Sharla | Date: May 12th, 2006 7:49 PM
Why do you blame parents? It's not like they're forcing their kids to have sex. My dads a banker and my mums a teacher yet I ended up a teen mum. I was 15 when I had the twins. Give people a break, my god. Your kids will do the same thing, it's only natural. Stop complaining about everyone else and get a life. 

Name: amy | Date: May 12th, 2006 8:50 PM
probley lisa has had a bad up bringing and just blames people around her i dont blame my mum it was my MY choice to have this baby not hers 

Name: concerned mom | Date: May 13th, 2006 2:27 AM
Lisa I understand how you are feeling.I have an 8 yr old daughter and the thought of her getting pregnant at 13 or 14 yrs old scares me to death.Im very involved with both of my kids(I have a 16 yr old son)but that doesn't stop them from making wrong choices.I have taught them right from wrong and thats all I can do.The Lord promises "If you train up a child in the way he should go,When he gets old he will not depart from it ". And what else can I do but stand on his promises. 

Name: To Sharla | Date: May 14th, 2006 3:39 AM
Your parents were busy banking and teaching so you were probably neglected and that's why you were having sex in your teens in the first place.You have a pretty twisted way of thinking when you say that my kid will do the same thing and that it's only natural.No it isn't natural,not at all,and no it won't happen to mine because I have raised him up better than that like my parents Should have raised me.And I'm not complaining,I'm merely stating a fact that teen pregnancy is way out of control and ,yes,parents of those teens are much to blame because if they were doing their job as a parent correctly,their teens (some as young as 13) wouldn't be on here asking for advice because they're pregnant or may have a disease and don't know what to do about it.As far as you telling me to (get a life) goes,I have one raising my son into a fine young man and I must be doing a pretty good job so far because he is almost 15,still in school,gets descent grades,doesn't drink,smoke,use drugs,or have anyone pregnant.He doesn't care to do any of those things because he has been taught better than that and wants to achieve a better way of life for himself.If I was a slacker kind of parent he would probably already have been a father by now.And no I'm not putting down working parents,I'm saying that when you have children work doesn't end at the workplace. 

Name: To Amy | Date: May 14th, 2006 3:54 AM
Yes I had a bad upbrining and yes I blame my parents because if they were the parents they should have been I would not have been a teen mom myself.But I was smart enough to only have 1 and also I knew how to raise my son differently from how my parents raised me so that I could be sure he would NOT follow that dreadful path........and I'm happy to say that it seems to be paying off.I couldn't ask for a better kid and I'm proud to boast that I am a large part of the reason why he is making smart choices. 

Name: To concerned mom | Date: May 14th, 2006 4:02 AM
I'm glad to see someone understands my point of view! My son isn't perfect but he is pretty good and I'm very proud of him.He isn't running around making poor choices and behaving badly,and I pat myself on the back for that because if I wasn't the kind of parent I was,he wouldn't be the kind of kid he is. 


Name: sally | Date: May 15th, 2006 10:18 AM
You had better be careful lisa that it doesnt come back to bite you, he is still young. My sons 13 and a good boy, where as my daughters 8 and a real handful. Yes I discipline her, yes I spend quality time with her and she still plays up and does things she knows she shouldnt.Does that make you a better parent than me?and how come both my kids raised the same turned out so different? You shouldnt judge others until youve been in there shoes. 

Name: Sharla | Date: May 15th, 2006 6:38 PM
Lisa
I think you'll actually find that I wasn't neglected in any way. The only thing I can say my parents were/are far too critical. Thats about it. I was having sex because it's what I wanted, my parents had no clue and when they asked I lied. I have to this day only been with the father of my babies. When they were 3 months old he was killed in a car crash and for nearly 2 years now I havn't been with anyone else.My parents wanted me to have an abortion and I said no. Don't judge people because it can happen to anyone: black/white, rich/poor. I got pregnant, yeah, so what? My children were a blessing, they saved mylife. I was 'recovering' from anorexia, spent time in hospital and was on various occasions given a week to live. Doctors said getting pregnant saved my life beacause for my kids I started eating again. It was really difficult and when Jake died I had a relapse and am still getting better now. I have something to live for. Getting pregnant didn't ruin my life, it GAVE me a life, it stopped me killing myself. At 13 I was sectionned after having a heart attack caused by not eating. I look my babies in the face everyday and thank them for coming when they did because otherwise my parents would be visiting my grave and not my house.
You say that me saying sex is natural is twisted?? Hello, what planet do you live on?? Whether you're a teenager, a middle aged person or a grandparent, sex is the most natural thing in the world. Blaming a parent for their child having sex is ridiculous!! If they hadn't trusted me and brought me up to be independant and make my own choices then I wouldn't be a teen mum, I'd be a dead teenager. I don't blame them for anything because it was my choice to have the kids. They did their job as parents; Looked after me, clothed me, fed me, gave me everything I wanted etc. When I was ill, my mum quit work to try and nurse me back to health. She tried her best, but I just couldn't let myself get better. I love my mum more than anything in the world, she is the BEST parent in the world unlike some control freaks like you!!!!!!! One thing that has to be said about your like goody 2 shoes geek of a son, be careful your words don't come back to bite you in the butt. You say he gets decent grades, so do I, I am first in my year at school and always have been. I've always had loads of friends, don't smoke, don't do drugs and maybe have a drink now and again. I've never been drunk though. I'm sure he has tried those things, just like I have!! I used to say to my parents I didn't care for any of them beacuse I wanted a good life. Exactly what your son says now, so it wouldn't surprise me or you for that matter that he has tries them even if he's not doing them. Your son needs to get a life just like you because by the sounds of it he leads a very miserable one. I feel sorry for him, especially having you for a mother!!! You're a judgemental, snobby and a control freak who doesn't have anything better to do with her time than to critisize everyone else and say how perfect your son is. Don't think you're to thank just thank God for the personality he gave your son. Oh, and one last thing, GET OVER YOURSELF!! 

Name: TO SHARLA | Date: May 16th, 2006 2:05 AM
Clearly we will never see eye to eye. I have my reasons for feeling the way I do on the subject.Teen pregnancy isn't the norm though like you're making it out to be.I guess in your eyes it's perfectly fine for 13 year olds to go out and get knocked up so maybe you will be a very young grandmother and love it,have at it and good for you!!Frankly,I'm exhausted on the subject now but just wanted to see how others felt and I guess now I've got my answer so best wishes to you and yours!!!!! Thanks for commenting and sorry I ruffled your feathers!!! I knew when posting that this would be a harry topic so I'm not surprised really of the types of replies I've recieved.But I feel if you post it you accept the good with the bad so thanks again for your replies. 

Name: To Sally | Date: May 16th, 2006 2:43 AM
I get my (judgement ) on the subject from people who I know well who have kids who are in trouble alot and frequently dish out bad behavior.Like I said these are people who have been in my life and who I know very well.I see how those kids were brought up and see where their parents went wrong and why their kids act as they do.Be angry with me if you want but I still say that parents are partially to blame for their teens who end up pregnant.Sorry!! But it's how I feel!! (I knew this would be a harry topic).We are all entitled to our OPINIONS and all I wanted to do was share my view and ask for others opinions on the topic,(boy did I get an earful)!!! I also get my( judgement )from personal experience seeing where my own parents went wrong.I've seen the outcome of parents who raised their kids in a half -assed manor (people I know personally) not you or anyone else on this board, and know where my own parents went wrong with me and my brother and all I'm saying is from those observances I learned how NOT to raise my own son..And,I am proud of the son I have brought up in my way which was far different from theirs and it seems to be working well because of how he is turning out. O.K.,your turn to fire back at me Sally! 

Name: TO ALL from Lisa | Date: May 16th, 2006 2:50 AM
I'm almost sorry I brought this topic up at all but it's just something I had questions about. I didn't mean to anger anyone,that wasn't my intention. I'm sorry to those I've offended on this subject. 

Name: sally | Date: May 16th, 2006 4:11 AM
You didnt read my post properly or awnser my question. 

Name: Sharla | Date: May 16th, 2006 3:06 PM
Lisa I respect your view on it, but my main point was don't judge ppl before you get to know them, everyone has different circumstances and not all parents whos teenage kids get pregnant are the same. Don't tar everyone with the same brush. I never said teen pregnancy was the norm and a 13 year old having sex isn't the best idea. BUT, it does happen and if those girls choose the right option for them be it keeping the baby or having an abortion then good for them. A teenager having sex has to accept the consequences that having sex can bring i.e. pregnancy. I chose to keep my kids just like YOU did as a teenager!! By the sounds of it, your son is turning out ok so hopefully mine will to. I'm trying my best and thats all I can do. No, I don't want to be a young grandma, I want my kids to finish university and then settle down to have kids. Im dreading thre day my 15 year old kids say to me 'Well what kind of stuff did you do with your friends when you were 15, what were the party's like?' and my reply will be 'Sorry honey, I don't know, I never made it to a lot of parties, I was too busy changing diapers'. I want them to have the best life possible but if Livi does come home pregnant one day, I won't judge her, I'll help her as much as I can and will consider circumstances before I question my parenting skills. I can't do more than my best!! and neither can you. I'm going to University in Sept and it is a shame I won't have the student life all my peers will have: getting drunk, meeting boys etc but I if it wasn't for my beautiful lil angels I wouldn't even be going to university. I'll never regret having them, they are my world and they are my reason for greeting everyday as it comes. The only regret is that they're growing up too fast. They're lil angels and I love them more than can be put in words. 

Name: TO SHARLA | Date: May 16th, 2006 6:08 PM
I just read what you wrote last and have much more respect for your words there than I did with what you wrote previously.I understand what you are saying and now realize that I cannot nor should not base my opinion so harshly on situations of those who I know nothing about.I took my harsh attitude from a few situations that I do know well personally and branded all.I shouldn't have been so quick to do that and I apologize.I'm glad you get to go back to school and hope it goes well for you(sincerely).I know what you mean on how fast they grow up,I was just looking at pictures of my son the other night from newborn up to now and I just cried because I feel like my little boys grown up and feel that pretty soon he won't need me at all anymore and the thought of that breaks my heart!! But on the other hand I want him to be strong and independent too!! Sometimes I regret not having more but I only choose to have 1 because I knew it wouldn''t be easy and that I would be lucky to raise him up right.I am glad things have turned out as well as they have though.I hope everything works out for you as you hope for them too.In the future Sharla,I will not be so judgemental on those I don't know.Thank-you for making me see things from another perspective that I hadn't thought of myself. I hope you're not as angry with me now. 

Name: TO SALLY | Date: May 16th, 2006 6:30 PM
No I'm not claiming to be a better parent than you.Perhaps if I would have had another one my 2nd may not have turned out as well as my 1st though they would have been raised the same. I don't know why your daughter is different from your son aside from girls are different from boys,she is still very young so it's probably just a phase but with good discipline which I know you said you are giving,I bet things will change eventually,like I said she's still very young right now.I have told Sharla that I intend to stop judging others so harshly when I don't know their situation personally.I had been branding all from a few situations I knew personally and I shouldn't have done that. 

Name: Michelle | Date: May 21st, 2006 2:48 AM
I've read all the comments & I have to agree with Lisa. Here's my thoughts & reasons. I have 2 kids ages 17 & 21 yrs. old. Both are well adjusted, smart & made wise choices. No drugs, smoking or pregnancies. My comments to the teenagers with children below is who is helping you financially? I explained to both my kids that if they were to become pregnant accidentally, I would want them to get an abortion. If they chose to keep the baby, they will have to move out as I do not want them to live in my house & they will have to pay for all their expenses for themselves & the baby. There is no law that states I have to support my grandchildren. Also my health insurance covers my children - not the grandchildren. I also explained to my kids that its impossible to live on your own as a teenager, find a job & support yourself & your baby. Also most young fathers leave their girlfriends once they find out the girl is pregnant. Fortunately, both my kids realized I was right on target as they watched their high school "friends" mess up their lives by drinking, smoking, getting pregnant or doing drugs. Both my kids made the smart choice graduating high school on time & my 21 yr. old is graduating college June 1st. My 17 yr. old will be starting college in Sept. My choice is to pay for college education rather than supporting grandchildren who were born to teenage mothers. 

Name: to michelle | Date: May 21st, 2006 10:56 AM
WHAT ever ur kids arnt bloody perfect .... no bodys are and nobody should blame there parents for gettin pregnant okay just cause u and lisa are bad parents by the sounds of it dont blame us if ur kids make mastakes god sake! 

Name: btw | Date: May 21st, 2006 10:57 AM
you cant make your kids get abourtions not all kids want to be in proper good schools mums like you do my head in telling ur kids how to live there life but really there living urs 

Name: anyone ever....... | Date: May 21st, 2006 2:58 PM
has anyone ever hear the old saying...
"The apple doens't fall far from the tree....."
The way many, many MANY children, teenagers, and young adults are is a reflection of their parents....... 

Name: Lisa | Date: May 21st, 2006 6:24 PM
THANK-YOU MICHELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Name: BOTTOM LINE FACT........... | Date: May 21st, 2006 6:43 PM
SLACKER PARENTS are the ones who end up with F***** UP TEENS who do drugs,get pregnant,smoke,drink,and get into trouble! Some people should'nt have kids because they care about their own lives more than the lives of their children. Like the mother who puts whatever man is in her life at the moment before her kids,or the parent who won't properly discipline their kids because it's EASIER to just let them do whatever in the hell they want. It's THESE types of parents who aren't doing their job that end up with out of control,troubled,and pregnant teens!!! And for those of you who say,"Well,I know I raised my son/daughter up right and they still turned out pregnant at 16 or into trouble!" I say B.S.! It's OBVIOUS then that you weren't doing your job as a parent as well as you thought! Like it or not people,the cause always stems back to the PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!! 

Name: sally | Date: May 22nd, 2006 6:34 AM
to bottom line fact yep your right. my mum always put her many boyfriends first and yep i ended up pregnant at 18! 

Name: amy | Date: May 22nd, 2006 9:24 AM
hey im 16 and pregnant but my mum isnt a slacker so why did i get pregnant a mean shes done her best to surport us when my dad left her shes got hers and our life back on track i wouldnt ever blame my mum for getting pregnant for a few days my mum couldnt look me in the eyes for getting pregnant but not shes done her best her best to surport me through it, none of us out of my family dink or take drugs my older brother smokes but were not trailer trash kids just because im pregnant at 16 i think you have got some mixed up teens mixed up with some teens what are accually quiet the family type im not here to cause a row im here sticking up for the teens parents what aint trailer trash 

Name: Sharla | Date: May 22nd, 2006 12:48 PM
I agree with you Amy, I'm 17 and have 2 year old twins. When I got pregnant my parents kicked me out, told me they shouldn't have bothered helping me get through an eating disorder because I 've just gone and 'messed up my life' anyway. They wouldn't be seen with me when I was pregnant because they said it was sheer embarressment. They are still embarrassed that I'm a teen mum. I only really started talking properly to them when Jake, the kids dad, passed away in a car accident. They help me out financially and that and are so proud that I'm going to University being a teen mum. I can't blame my parents for getting pregnant. They really wanted me to have an abortion and I said no, so thats why the kicked me out. I'm not stupid and do just as good a job as any other aged single mums. My kids are clean, well-fed, healthy, happy, polite etc and are the most impotant things in my life.
the idiots who wrote that stuff before, really should read what was written before their comment and maybe they wouldn't judge all single mums. We have a harder job than anyone else because we're so discriminated against and everyone waits to see and hopes we screw up. It's not fair. There are exceptions but our kids are the most important things in our lives and we're more determined to succeed just to make them proud and make sure they have the best life possible. We've given up our lives for our children just like older mothers and personally think we'll do a better job because we can teach our kids not to judge ppl on the outside, that circumstances are different for everyone and to listen before speaking, something that by the looks of it older mothers don't do. We live, breathe, get on for our kids despite all the obstacles. My kids have a big, loving family who just want the best for them, especially me. 

Name: amy | Date: May 22nd, 2006 8:22 PM
sharla have you got msn? i think these people who write this stuff are just the sad and pathectic people who they think us teen mums are we do better jobs than them im so looking forward to my daughter been born its unbeliveable but people put me down when i get my high hopes on just because im young if it wasnt for my mum god i wouldnt no where i would be 

Name: Sharla | Date: May 22nd, 2006 8:38 PM
Amy, my mail is [email protected]. Yeah I agree these ppl annoy me. 

Name: Michele | Date: May 24th, 2006 2:14 AM
Well, not all parents who's kids do that are bad or did a bad job at raising them, you have to look at the other side of things that the teen could be a very good liar or hides things well.

--- The NONE mom here --- 

Name: Just asking | Date: May 24th, 2006 2:37 AM
Has anyone else noticed that some posts require you to be registered before commenting while others do not?? 

Name: Lizzi | Date: May 24th, 2006 4:18 AM
I agree with Michelle and Lisa 

Name: Shorty | Date: May 25th, 2006 7:13 PM
Well it's true, I think parents need to get more involed in the kids life my son is 11yrs old and he's very hansom and already little girls are calling him and i ask the little girls that l if there parents no that she'a calling my son and she says no so look these little girls are 11 and want to talk to boys already and think the way they got my number was from the teachers desk so these little girls are watching to much t.v and listening to too much raido. We as women need to show are girls how to be young ladies and to respect there bodys. 

Name: omg | Date: May 29th, 2006 8:48 PM
how do you no your kids are going out into the world and knowing that there good i bet half of your kids have been beind your backs just stop pushing them you kinda parents are the ones what make your kids turn to drugs and that its called letting them have a life you control freaks! 

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