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Name: Beth B
[ Original Post ]
My 14 yr. old daughter is currently "going out with" a 15 yr. old boy whose parents are both incarcerated. He is of a different race than hers and she says that "I am prejudice" when I tell her that I don't want her "going steady" with him. Race has nothing to do with it but she doesn't see the whole picture. Help !
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Name: geena | Date: Jul 5th, 2005 9:00 PM
Well, i can understand how you feel if both of his parents are in jail, but that's not his fault. It's not like he's in jail or anything. So relax. 

Name: Beth | Date: Jul 6th, 2005 1:49 PM
Geena - You're right. It's not his fault. But I know that he has been verbally and mentally abusive to one of their classmates (a few years ago) that resulted in the classmate requiring therapy and counceling. How cruel is that? I don't want him manipulating my daughter if he is capable of that kind of behavior at 10 yrs. old. I know kids can be mean to each other, but he went over board on this one! The other classmate struggled for yrs. and is just now getting over it. What kind of kid would treat another one so badly? I just don't want my daughter influenced by someone like this. It's hard to relax on this one. 

Name: Nina | Date: Jul 6th, 2005 7:47 PM
I can see why you're concerned but maybe you should try to take the time to get know him. I'd be concerned too if a 10yr old behaved that way but you need to keep in mind that that was 5 years ago. He may have "matured" (are 15yr olds really that mature to begin with?) since then.
As far as the parents go, though, I wouldn't base my opinion of him on the fact that they are in jail. He didn't get to choose his parents or decide on their actions so that shouldn't play a factor into your opinion.
I'd suggest you take the time to get to know him but also be aware of any "warning signs" that may suggest he is verbally, mentally, or physically abusing your daughter. 

Name: tara | Date: Jul 13th, 2005 1:59 PM
you can't rule ur daughters life. she will learn by her own mistakes ok my dads i prison my mum should be going soon, that don't make me a bad person 

Name: tara | Date: Jul 13th, 2005 2:02 PM
you can't rule ur daughters life. she will learn by her own mistakes ok my dads i prison my mum should be going soon, that don't make me a bad person. im in foster care and have been all my life. its ok im use 2 it. don't judge him, im sure if he wsa abusing ur daughter she'd tell u. im 15 

Name: key mom | Date: Jul 26th, 2005 12:52 AM
what about her makeing someone out of him what if he really like your girl and would be good for her, because of his experinces so she dosnt do them, do you think it might be good for this boy to see a family, and the more you tell her no the more shes going too. 


Name: chandra | Date: Jul 28th, 2005 8:49 AM
After 15teen No Problum Everybody care self 

Name: Amanda | Date: Jul 28th, 2005 9:38 PM
don't base what some boys parents actions are onto him. get to know him i'm sure he needs some attention and love from some parent figure being that his arent' doing the best... 

Name: Yasmin | Date: Aug 1st, 2005 5:51 AM
i don't think you should keep her from seeing him... that could only make your daughter lie to you to see him..and you loosing her trust in the end..and she's only 14 it's not like she is going to be with him for the rest of her life..just let her know that she's young and relationships don't last forever.... 

Name: Tasha | Date: Aug 6th, 2005 3:30 AM
hi i am 15 and i think its not hes fault he came into this world with 2 parents in jail it not like he wanted to be in that family so i would say relax a lil and get to kno him thin if you still think hes not for ur daughter thin tell her why and dont say bc hes parents are in jail bc that will piss her off 

Name: Natali | Date: Aug 7th, 2005 7:22 PM
let her make mistakes thats how she learns...everyone gets hurst when it comes to relationships you can't stop the natural course of things....the best thing to let her do it go for it and let her mature....just make sure she is clued up about contraception and sexual health. 

Name: heather | Date: Aug 14th, 2005 1:11 AM
you daughter may see the best in people and not care about race. to some moms it is an issue. its not like shes going to marry him tomorrow, they are still kids and they will explore way more. i know you know that when you get involved with a person, you most likely get involved with their families but he cant help that he wasnt raised in a healthy home. i dont think you should worry about it too much because they are still really young. 

Name: the best mom ever!!! | Date: Oct 8th, 2005 5:27 PM
its her life and if she wants to go out wiv him she can because if hes not been in prison thats ok and he may not be bad and she may like him for who he is and the same for him with her. And if she wants 2 have sex with him she can 

Name: just a teen, what do i know? | Date: Oct 16th, 2005 8:30 AM
it might help if you let her in on the whole picture....just because both parents are incarcerated doesnt make the kid a bad kid. its not his fault, and he must be doing something right to still be out with the public. and if race has nothing to do with it, why would you even bring it up? 

Name: Tabatha | Date: Nov 12th, 2005 6:47 PM
Im 18 and I use to date guys of a different race when I was about 14, my mom did not let me date them, I did it behind her back, whould you rather her sneek and be with him or would you rather her be honest with you and let you know what she's doing. You have to let her learn from her mistakes. I have a 7m old boy, he's mixed (columbian,white) his dad is mixed (columbian,white) if he wanted to date someone I did not aprove of I waould let her come to my house for dinner and try to get to know her, b/c if my son liked her their must be something good about her. You could Try to get to know him! Black,white and brown are just colors its whats on the in side that counts. Just try to get know him ask him questions about what he plans to do for a living, waht kind of music he likes, movies he like, he could be funny, you never know what the future holds, she might just like him b/c she knows its someone you dissaprove of, when I was her age I was trying to do everything my mom told me NOT to do!!! Hope I help 

Name: danny | Date: Nov 15th, 2005 5:59 PM
hi 

Name: KENNY | Date: Dec 3rd, 2005 1:51 AM
I WANNA MEET SHE MALE 

Name: kayla - 13 yr old | Date: Dec 5th, 2005 6:12 PM
theyve pointed out my whole reply :-p

good luck
and the only thing i have to say is

tell ur daughter that u trust her and let her go out with him a while. tell her that she can as long as she promises to come to u if she feels at all threatned....and make sure she knows that ur saying that because of past actions, not because of his race or parents. 

Name: Dannielle | Date: Dec 19th, 2005 2:23 PM
i'm looking for a guy that is 14 m north carolina elizabeth city u can e-mail me at [email protected] or my aim messanger at krazydann16 or for my msn is [email protected] 

Name: Angela | Date: Dec 21st, 2005 2:30 AM
Just set down with her and try to tell her why you don't won't her going out with him and if that don't work then write her a letter. 

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