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i have a 13 year old teenager, and she wants to wear fishnet stockings, belly shirts/tubetops and mini skirts! not to forget high heels. when she goes to the mall, she buys them,and then tries to leave the house wearing them. i keep telling her to go change, and she just throws a fit, and tells me no. i just say fine your not going out, and she storms up to her room, and then tries again to sneak out at night! im so overwhelmed. nothing seems to be working. does anybody have any advice? ↓
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| Name: jaqueline | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 11:49 PM |
| sit her down and tell her what she is doing is un acceptable, and take away all of her things, [door,phone,tv etc.] sont use physical punishments. this could damage her emotional well being ↑ |
| Name: julia | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 11:52 PM |
| nobody has any real suggestions? i dont know what to do! ↑ |
| Name: Jo | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 1:33 AM |
| I think you are doing a good job as a parent, I guess I don't know what you should do since I am a teen myself. Thanks for caring about what she wears though, there are so many parents that don't. ↑ |
| Name: joe shmo | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 2:17 AM |
| I am a teen guy. You know most people wonder why guys are always so "turned on" by girls. Maybey if they weren't walking around naked all the tie we wouldn't be that temted. Just saying. ↑ |
| Name: to joe schmo | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 2:37 AM |
| Name: louis | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 3:07 AM |
| MAYBE A GOOD OL'FASHION SPANKING SHOULD GET HER IN LINE ↑ |
| Name: Karen | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 12:48 PM |
| Don't worry.I'm like that too.It's the fashion.Teenagers are like that.Probably to impress a guy. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 4:26 PM |
| Cease the source of where shes getting her money for starters! Take her shopping for clothes yourself and only allow her to get clothes that you approve of ! She may need to find a new group of friends too it sounds like. You need to get reacquainted with your daughter before more trouble other than what shes trying to wear boils up. At 13 she should not be trying to sneak out of the house at night . Shes up to more than you know ,thats my guess. Shes 13,take control of your kid back before shes busted by cops or pregnant!! ↑ |
| Name: julia | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 8:59 PM |
| her father gives her the money, were divorced, and dont talk anymore because it always ends up as a big fight. anyways he will just give her money behind my back, and he doesnt care what she wears. she will just buy it when she is with him anyways. and asking her to get a new group of friends is out of the question, because she wont listen! im not at her school to see who she hangs out with. ↑ |
| Name: jo | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 10:20 PM |
| Where does she get the money??? ↑ |
| Name: julia | Date: Apr 13th, 2006 11:14 PM |
| her father gives her the money ↑ |
| Name: sally | Date: Apr 19th, 2006 1:31 AM |
| i would ask her why she wants to dress like this and why she would want this type of negative attention and let her know that boys will think shes cheap and not respect her that type of thing. other than that you would probably have to ground her. ↑ |
| Name: help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 12:35 AM |
| my daughters ten and looks 15 she has been on a period sence she was 8 18 yr old s like her wat should i do im always the bad guy ↑ |
| Name: poptart | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 2:40 AM |
when she goes to the mall go with her and don't let her buy any rags like that
but first throw away all of those crappy, skanky clothes ↑ |
| Name: Sharni | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 2:55 PM |
Im 13 ... and were girls. What can you say? If we have the body and the attitude to wear that stuff ... dont we have the right to fluate it?
If its really annoying you, burn the clothes and have a teenage daughter that will end up hating you and be a lil bitch. ↑ |
| Name: nat | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 9:00 PM |
| im 17 and I started all that at 14. I'm no li whore as I've only been ith one boy and that was in a ling term relationship. She's young, why shouldnt she?? times have changed!! if anything say only one thing at a time or a short skirt with heels or a longerone with fishnets. She's only trying to express herself, be cool, fit in and impress some guy. Let her be herself!! I've dabbed in everything and I mean everything from skirts to drugs and in september im going to study law at university. Dont think that just coz she wants to wear stuff like that things will go wrong. Its part of growing up. Give her a break!! ↑ |
| Name: nat | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 9:01 PM |
| and oh yeah, mini skirts go with a top that doesnt show any flesh and a belly top with trousers. Never let her mix the 2!! ↑ |
| Name: nicole jones | Date: Jun 10th, 2006 3:29 AM |
| i'm 17 and i am diffinitly not a conservative dresser by any means, but there is a big difference between dressing attractivley and "flaunting it"... at 13 i don't think you should really be flaunting anything but a good hair cut and a sweet attitude. unfortunatly julia there really isnt a whole lot you can do - the fashion really is popular, and popular is the most comfortable thing to be at 13. sadly, it's pretty average. ↑ |
| Name: sara | Date: Jun 22nd, 2006 8:11 PM |
| Listen your daughter as you see is trying to act older then she is. Taking away phone tv etc. is a good idea but, it wont work. She likes it because you don't like. To get her to stop you must be her and she will see that your doing it and she will think that it's "un cool" because her mother does it. So she will tell you to stop but if you dont she will. Then you can have a serious talk with her about the cloths and that shes acting to old. ↑ |
| Name: q | Date: Jun 23rd, 2006 4:05 AM |
the only way ur going to get through to ur dauther is to take everything away ground her untill she shows u any respect... just give her a matruse and her sutable clothing (if there is any)
dont give her any money not even school money, make her her lunch every day drive her to and from school, dont let her out period and tell her that this is because of u not showing me any respect and that this is for ur own good. ↑ |
| Name: sophie 13 | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 12:30 PM |
| Name: steph | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 5:51 PM |
| tell her y u dont think she should wher them say to her u look grat but dont wher that because u r showing to much off and there is sick men about ↑ |
| Name: Catherine | Date: Jul 7th, 2006 11:33 PM |
| Perhaps, you couls find a middleish ground(something verry close to you stand point that makes her think your giving her what she wants). like set a limit to the length of the skirt, just slightly above where it ought to be. that way she'll think your letting her dress the way she wants and she won't push as hard against you.(But what do i know I'm not a parent.) ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Jul 8th, 2006 8:59 PM |
| Mom, who is the parent? I know it is difficult but you need to put down your foot! She has to realize that the clothing she chooses is un appropriate for her age. She most likely will not agree and put up a fuss. That is when you need to step in take the clothing away. As Lisa said cease the source! If dad is giving her the money talk to dad tell him to stop supplying her with it. We are called parents for a reason not to let our children do as they feel. You need to be consistant, it wont be easy. Stay strong for your daughters sake. In the end it will all be worth it! ↑ |
| Name: To julia | Date: Jul 8th, 2006 10:38 PM |
| You're her mother,SO BE ONE!!!! You take her to get clothes and only let her choose ones YOU approve of. Remember she's 13 not 18. ↑ |
| Name: sebastia guerrero | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 8:11 AM |
| i want to chat with teens ↑ |
| Name: WTF | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 6:18 PM |
| Wait until she gets violently raped and then disown her. ↑ |
| Name: Kandiss | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 6:31 PM |
| Well, considering she's THIRTEEN, take her money and don't let her buy the clothes. You are her mother, right? MOTHER HER and don't let her wear those clothes. Jesus. If her father gives her the money, take the clothes and throw them out anyway, and then ask him how he'll feel when his daughter gets gang raped at a party. Or maybe he likes looking at her in those clothes, who knows? What the hell is she doing sneaking out at night, anyway? How old are the people she's hanging out with? Get involved in her life. ↑ |
| Name: truth sayer | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 7:18 PM |
Explain to her that what she is doing is not right. She is dressing like a little prostitute and she is still going through puberty, that is sick. Sit down calmly with her and explain that it is not appropriate for her to dress like that, and that she will get lots of attention from pervert men that will make her uncomfortable. Tell her that she does not need to dress differently to be noticed, and that her personality will get the attention of the right guys, not shady perverts. Tell her she just needs to dress like a normal girl her age, you know, a non-revealing top and jeans. You don't have to make her dress in a smock...you don't have to dress like a whore to look fashionable.
You should get a refund for all of her slut clothes, and then go back to the mall and let her pick out some decent clothes. Also, keep an eye on what type of friends she hangs out with at school, it's probably those people who dress like sluts and she wants to be like them. ↑ |
| Name: ms.chigger | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 8:02 PM |
Agreed re compromise idea -- set limits, albeit probably ones a bit, er, sluttier than you'd like.
Tempting as it may be to ground and take stuff and so on; it just sounds like a way to get a lot of massive fights, and incredible rebellion at the same time; not the attitude that should go with fishnets. It's probably better for her to look a little trampy and get on well with you than to look decent and loathe all parental authority and advice.
Go shopping with her if you can; perhaps treat her to some things that're "cool" but not trashy -- which do exist. None of the four things you mentioned are critical to being fashionable. Though unfortunately, cheap is often, well, cheap -- a high-end designer dress might also be okay by her standards, but not many 13-year-olds will fork over the cash for genuinely nice clothes; may be worth it for you to _if_ that's an option. (eBay would be a good place to find bargains, I think.)
The clothes do sound (a) horrifying, and (b) part of normal teen-age rebellion and bad fashion ideas. I don't think you can somehow stop the rebellion altogether, but do suspect it might be more important at this point to keep your relationship with her a good, open one (especially if the father is less than responsible) -- one thing to dress foolishly, another to be hiding drugs/sex/etc. ↑ |
| Name: nat | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 9:37 PM |
| hi im 14 and i wear skirts and tops that show abit of my belly but ur daughter is going well past it tell her she needs to wear clothes that area curtain lengh take her out shopping and if she doesnt tell her shes not going out or when shes at skool or owt through her clothes away you dont want her wearing or dont give her money to go shopping with xxx hope this helps xxx if not mi addies [email protected] lol i no im abit to young but oh wel just trana hope xx ↑ |
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