I've been a bit obsessed with poetry since I lost my dog, but this poem is particularly lovely.
PAWS FOR THOUGHTS
Muddy pawprints on my floor;
Grooves and ruts trail down the door.
Fur has shed on couch and chair;
It's on my clothes. It's in the air.
A variety of spots and stains
Upon my carpet defies names.
Dog balls and toys are everywhere.
A chewie tripped me on the stair.
Just settled in a comfy seat;
Guess who needs out or wants a treat.
I hear a noise out in the dark.
The dog's asleep. He doesn't bark.
Try to eat a snack at night;
Two hopeful eyes watch every bite.
I planted shrubs outside last year.
They've been chewed up. They are not here.
To mow the lawn can be quite hard
With all the holes dug in my yard.
These problems seem so minor now;
The years went by so fast somehow.
Oh, what I wouldn't give my friend,
To have those messes back again.
~Nancy Brevak~ (A.K.C. Gazette, June 1989) ↓
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| Name: Lauren | Date: Aug 11th, 2007 8:41 PM |
I almost started crying when i read this :( I think of Heidi and now i feel guilty for getting a new dog. I'm not REPLACING her i know that but it feels so wrong. I've never felt it before, because i was caught up in the thought about my dream- something i've always wanted. Ya, Heidi wasn't mine but she stole a place in my heart. I used to tell my best friend-heidi's real owner- that your heart is divided into different parts. And one of those parts is labeled pets. Then THAT is divided into your different pets equally, so no one can feel jealous. That was when i was younger, now i'm a lot older and i know that that's not true. My baby, heidi, will always be in my heart but why do i feel guilty? I know that Heidi would want me to be happy, but heidi was always my favorite dog. I'm afraid that since this dog will be MINE it will be closer to me. :( I'm really sad, and Chloe comes home tomarrow- now i feel like she shouldn't be mine. :( I love BOTH dogs but idk...it feels wrong. I want to give Chloe all the love i can but i cant do that with Heidi still on my mind.
Sorry this is long im just scared :( ↑ |
| Name: briseis | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 8:24 AM |
Lauren,
I felt a little like that after my dog - Bono - died. He was the most beautiful chestnut and white Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, with a little brown round marking on the top of his head (the reason I chose him over his brothers and sisters when he was a puppy) Only 3 weeks after Bono died, my fiancé came home with a surprise birthday present for me, another beautiful chestnut and white Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy with a little brown round marking on the top of his head too. It was like looking at Bono as a puppy again. The new puppy - Nieko - is over a year old now, but although he looks like Bono, and has some similar characteristics specific to the breed, he does have his own personality and his own traits just as Bono did. And even though I have 2 gorgeous little dogs to love, they don't even touch the place in my heart that I hold for Bono. Little dogs don't live nearly as long as we do, and with a heart like yours Lauren, there will be many many dogs who you will love beyond description. But Heidi will always be different to all the rest, because she was the first dog you loved, just as Bono was my first. The place you hold for Heidi is very safe in your heart, and you'll always remember her as the first dog you loved and the first dog you lost. I have a framed picture of Bono in my family room which says 'I am forever changed, by having known you, loved you, lost you'. While it is heartbreaking that Bono and Heidi have passed on, they have left something fantastic behind, their own little legacy, and that is that they have lived for long enough to leave their own little pawprints on our hearts forever. So you mustn't feel guilty for loving again; you have a heart big enough to love many, but Heidi will take the central place in your heart simply for being first. :) ↑ |
| Name: Lauren | Date: Aug 12th, 2007 12:53 PM |
Thanks so much :) I felt really bad yesturday, maybe just beacuse it finally hit me-my dog comeshoem tomarrow. And i was listening to this sad song called i miss you and everything clicked-like i wasnt soposed to be getting a dog. It scared me really, because i had never felt like that. And yes Heidi will always be my gaurdian angel and no one can take her place :)
♥♥♥ ↑ |
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