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Name: robby
[ Original Post ]
hello
im 19 years old and have been raising my niece and nephew with my mother and other sister on and off for their entire lives. they are now 12 and 14.
i find myself really wanting a baby of my own. i dont have a boyfriend, but i have still been thinking about it a lot.
any advice, other then wait? :S
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Name: briseis | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 11:11 AM
I'm not suggesting for one second that you shouldn't have a baby, as it is every woman's right no matter how old. However, bringing a child into this world for the wrong reasons can be detrimental to the baby. I think there are some points you need to consider.

Having your own home, and being able to financially support your baby and yourself is crucial. Do you have a full time job, which can support both you and a baby? And which will pay Maternity Leave?

Being in a stable relationship is best for the baby. Single parents do fantastic jobs, but very rarely do people actually choose to be a single parent. Moreoften a relationship which involves children breaks down. I don't think you should ever set out to be a single parent. It's demanding and stressful for you. It would be detrimental to any future relationships you have. And it's best for the baby to have mom and dad together if possible.

You are very young at 19. You have your whole life ahead of you. I'm 23, own my own house with my fiancé of 5 years, and am 20-weeks pregnant with our first baby. And still I know I'll have to make a lot of sacrifices in being a younger mother. It's not a puppy you can rehome if the novelty wears off ...

Also how do you mean to get pregnant in the first place, without a boyfriend? You'd either need fertility treatment which is extremely expensive, or you'd need to find someone willing to father a child with a stranger ...

My advice is to wait till you're in a relationship, are a few years older, and have achieved independence ... 

Name: briseis | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 1:39 PM
I know you said you didn't want to be adviced to wait ... but it's the only advice I can offer ... If you were in a relationship, and had independence, then your age wouldn't be so relevant, and I'd say go for it if that's what you want. :) 

Name: atomicsnowflake | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 1:41 PM
You gotta be kiddin'.

Kids completely take over your whole life. Babies are fine - apart from the chronic lack of sleep and endless laundry. It's when they get to toddler age plus that the fun really starts.

A child does better with two parents as well.

Looking after a relative's children is completely different from having your own. I'm sorry, but there's no comparison. 

Name: dmt | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 2:17 PM
Go to college first. It takes a lot of money to raise a child. 

Name: briseis | Date: Apr 19th, 2007 3:09 PM
I went through that stage when I was 17; got a bit broody. I think every woman does. But I'm SO glad I decided to wait. I got a College degree in English Lit, got a full time job, moved out of home, rented for a while before buying my first home with my long-term boyfriend, got engaged. I doubt I would have done any of that if I had got pregnant when I was 17. 

Name: Nessa | Date: Jun 5th, 2007 10:16 AM
Hi Robby,
Well, like others have said you must really really think through this to be sure it is really right for you and the baby. That includes thinking about how you will support yourself and the baby and get more education. It is a HUGE decision for you both.
But if you do think carefully, and you do already know what is involved with taking care of children from helping with the others, I think that it is your right. I am a daughter of a single mom (she got pregnant with me at 17) and our family has been great, just the two of us.
If you do decide to, then please think about how you want it to happen, as you will remember that as the start of your baby. I mean you can of course pay for a clinic to do artificial insemination, or get a friend to help you, or on a date with someone who you like, but don't want to share your life with. It is whatever you would feel more comfortable with. I personally don't like the first, cause it is too clinical and cold, and don't like the second cause it would be complex, so would go for the third. I am not sure if you have to tell the guy, probably but in some ways it would be simpler if he never knew.
Nessa 


Name: gaiamom | Date: Jun 6th, 2007 3:26 AM
What I can say to you,,,,is that there is this spiritual belief one of my masters told me...they say is no coincidence who our parents are....meaning that we before we come to this earth we choose who our mom and who are dad are going to be and we do it for a reason usually our babies come to teach us about ourselfves, so he or she already choose you...and he or she is just wating for the exact and precise moment when time comes to arrive to your life
I know you said you wanted other advice that to wait, but I wanted to share this spiritual belief with you
Bless 

Name: scattykat | Date: Jun 8th, 2007 10:44 PM
hello robby, the only advice i would say wait into you meet the right one dont just be with someone or meet any old one cos you want a baby . x 

Name: pock | Date: Apr 8th, 2008 5:54 PM
well tell me about you I might be able to help u with that I'm want a baby too soon email me ok [email protected] ok 

Name: Share Your Story w/ Us | Date: Apr 8th, 2008 7:27 PM
I'm casting a documentary that focuses on teen girls who are pregnant. The documentary is a groundbreaking project that will give the chosen girls a voice and an opportunity, to share what their lives are like as they enter the next chapter of their lives.

That being said, as time is of the essence, if you are a pregnant teen (or know someone who is), we hope to speak with you as soon as possible. Also, please know that if chosen, the girls will be compensated for their time.

Best Regards,

Lande Yoosuf
[email protected] 

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