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Name: Lauren
[ Original Post ]
I'm a 21 year old single mum and very lonely. I love my son more than anything in the world. I lost most of my friends when i had my son because i made the decision to stop drinking and going out and none of them respect me for that, they just left me stranded. The father of my son messed me around so much that i don't think someone could ever hurt me like that again but yet i'm getting ready to ask him to come back just to have someone in my life and will put up with his drinking and verbal abuse. Are there men out thier who date and take interest in single moms and will i ever have friends again who can respect and understand my ways to make my sons life the best. Does this feeling ever end, crying myself to sleep every night is my only option at the moment.
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Name: san | Date: Jan 17th, 2008 7:15 AM
yes the awful feeling ends, gets replaced with wisdom, strength, and the pride of knowing you stuck it out and did the right thing. Your "friends" are not your friends. They are immature and lack the experience and skills to deal with you. You're moving on. Yes, it's painful for now, but you will succeed if you stick this out. Look toward the future. And, yes, guys DO take interest in single moms all over the place; don't get fooled, and never settle for an abusing, drinking falsehood of a man. 

Name: Lauren | Date: Jan 17th, 2008 11:58 AM
Thanks san i just wish the awful feeling would hurry up and end 

Name: linda-mate | Date: Jan 23rd, 2008 2:08 AM
hey my name is linda and im 23 i have a 2.5 yr old daughter and my daughters father bashed me and abused me . i would not go back to your babys father as it wont get better it will get worse one you will wake up and your child is dead cause the father was drunk and hurt your child as he was drunk even if he meant it or not. or you will end up dead . u should only c him when he visits you child and only when is sober. if the welfare office finds out that you r in an abusive relationship they will tell you to leave him or they will take the child into care.after i was made to leave my daughters father. i went into another abusive relationship . now i meet a wonderful guy on the net that loves and adores me and my daughter. and im currently 7mths preg now with his child so yes there r guys that love and will take care of u. if your friends r like that then there not real friends there just moles who want a good time. in a few yrs they will be preg because the got drunk and had sex.and they will have no1 as they pushed you away. you should go to playgroups an meet mums that r in the same boat as you. it took me a yr to get over it. here is my email msn me 

Name: linda-mate | Date: Jan 23rd, 2008 2:10 AM
[email protected] . so where r you i live in australia in victoria 

Name: emandalovesbrooklynn | Date: Jan 26th, 2008 9:57 AM
Hey Hun! i'm 21 aswell.. and probaly in the EXACT or close to same situation.... It's funny how ppl you never thought would leave you...left in you in the drop of a hat for alcohol/drugs. really sucks! The father is bittersweet on my end..only shows concern for my lil baby girl when his (bad word-lol)new girlfriend isn't around or it's just convient for him. Things are hard... but in time the WILL get better.... i have msn if you ever want to chat about things!

[email protected] 

Name: Jason/Chatrat | Date: Jan 27th, 2008 5:11 AM
Hi Lauren...first of all dont go back to Hell...that special man will come along...dont give up on him or urself. u can do it. Ur to yung and way to smart to give in and fall back into that crap...cuz it wont stop and will probably get even WORSE. U mighta lost friends but u will meet tha ones u dont know u have yet. Main thing is...is to keep a straight and clear mind. Dont panic and dont give up...there is ALWAYS A WAY. Sometimes it will come to you...other times u have to find it. That doesnt mean sit on ur butt and do nuthin....it means while u r lookin for it that it could come to you. Nuthin is worth anything if u dont try. Nuthin was ever Achived WITHOUT Enthusiasm. U can do it. Funny thing is, im in tha same boat as u but without child. Good will come your way. Have faith in God and Urself. U can do it! 


Name: jayde07 | Date: Jan 27th, 2008 11:25 AM
hi lauren im 19 and i hav a little girl and i knw wat u maen im not a single mum but my bf is at work all day every day so im stuck indoors all day as i have moved away frm my friends and i am really findin it hard to get the confidencse to make new friends and i hate th thought of my daughter havin to stay indoors all the time 

Name: SingleParentChat.net | Date: Jan 29th, 2008 9:19 PM
Cheer up Lauren. You have a beautiful life companion in your child. Focus on your son and cherish the moments with him because time passes so fast. And with time, you will find friends who understand and respect your position as a single mom. If your son's father is as you say, you will only replace the feeling of loneliness with other negative feelings by asking him to come back. If you do want to make a go of it, ask him to give up his drinking and verbal abuse before u take him back. Good luck and god bless. SingleParentChat.net 

Name: lana_81 | Date: Jan 30th, 2008 8:30 AM
Hi there ! Iam 27 and a single mother of 4 young kids! ages 1 2 3 and 5! Yeh crazy i know but i love them.. I thought it would be hard but My ex didnt do that much to help me.. iam actualy better off now.. I do get lonely though and think all the time no one will want me.. i have 4 kids! But one day i might find that someone 

Name: leah | Date: Feb 17th, 2008 9:04 PM
hey lauren. I am 22 and i am in pretty much the same situation and have the same feelings as u. i do believe that the sun will shine and things will get better 

Name: jukebox | Date: Jul 5th, 2008 1:50 AM
I wonder why would you take all this drinking and abusing bit from your child's father...? The point is not whether or not your friends or your partner respects you. The point is: do you respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself. The point is: do you believe in yourself to do the right thing. The point is: do you feel you have no options of finding love and respect again, and you need love so bad that you are willing to get back into the very mess you have come out from. Finally, do ask yourself what makes you want to be a doormat and a 'welcome' container for other people's garbage. 

Name: motherdearest | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 12:03 AM
what ever you do DONT go back babe its not going to get better and all the feelings of hate and love will drive you crazy. Stick it out ma i when back because i to was lonely very loney and all i have it pain and the crying started again. we get strong and think yes we could handle it now because i dont love him but its really not true time heals pain but the heart will not forget and the littliest thing will bring it to the surface and ther it goes again the pain and the crying. IT HURTS SOOOOO MUCH BUT WE HAVE TO STAND OUR GROUND AND I NOW THAT NOW BUT I STILL CRY AND HURT SOOOO MUCH ITS REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY. 

Name: titch in tummy | Date: Jul 9th, 2008 5:49 PM
i am dreading feeling like this when my baby is born and i know i will. i don't see my friends anymore either and the dad is totally absent. i cry myself to sleep at night. 

Name: David | Date: Jul 20th, 2008 8:54 PM
You shouldnt consider taking him back. It will be bad for you and the baby. I will talk to you 

Name: halfpintohoney | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 2:09 AM
I'm 27 and my son is 17 months old !!! I love my son's father very much but we're like oil and water. So we just don't do well as a couple !!!! I went through the same feelings of wanting to ask him to come back just so I didn't have to spend another ngiht alone in my bed. DON'T DO IT !! I was single for almost 2 years before I started seeing someone !! He had a 6 year old daughter. Things went great for a while and well I'm single again !!! I cried myself to sleep every night for almost 3 months before a bell went off that said " You did it for almost 2 years and were happy, suck it up" I got a hair cut, a great tan, painted my finger and toe nails !!(do what makes you feel good) I feel like a new person and I'm almost happy again.!!! If you don't feel good about yourself, it's hard for you to expect anybody else to either ;) My sister was a single mom going to university and getting no help from her son's father. She dated some real losers over the last 8 years, but 2 years ago she met one of the most wonderful men I've ever met. He loves and treats my nephew as his own son. He get's along great with the whole family. He is just one of the nicest people you'll ever meet !! They are out there hun, but we all have life lessons we must learn before we find them !! Until then, make some new girlfriends who have kids, do lots of stuff together as much as you can. And when you're going to go out for a girls night you can plan it and everybody gets sitters ;) Only Mom's know what it's like,lol. If I didn't have the friends I've made in the last 3 years I really don't know where I'd be !!!

http://www.helium.com/users/368729 

Name: LA Life | Date: Jul 22nd, 2008 5:52 AM
I have been a single parent for almost 5 years and have yet to find someone I would want in my life let alone my daughters. I does feel lonely at times and I have wondered if it would have been better to stay married to someone who did not respect me and treated me poorly. And every time I start to think that I tell myself what would I say to my daughter if she were in that situation? I believe it is far better to be lonely and alone than lonely in a relationship with someone. 

Name: k_man | Date: Jul 27th, 2008 1:10 AM
Things WILL improve. Do not go back to the alcoholic loser who cannot take responsibility for his actions. You are a dedicated loving mother (those are rarer than you think). He will never be good enough for you. I can't give you any advice as to where to go from here, but there will always be men who respect the strength that you so obviously posess. Don't settle for some dead-beat. 

Name: lisasing | Date: Jul 28th, 2008 1:09 AM
Being a single parent is not easy. Sometimes we need others understanding and help. But where is the good place for us ? www.singleparentloving.com is the largest community for single parent. There are Blogs, Forums, Live chats, and lots of hot photo galleries ! Free to join and meet you soulmatch in your area! 

Name: Jade | Date: Aug 19th, 2008 3:17 PM
I'm so sorry...I know how you feel and I'm there too...I'm 27 and my son is 5. I've been really lonely myself since I had him...his father and I aren't together.. and I let him take advantage of me even while HE had other people in his life because I just wanted to be with someone. So I know how it is to feel as though anything is better than nothing, but you know, and I know that we hurt ourselves more in the end by accepting unhealthy relationships. So the best I can offer is to remain strong and try to focus on your little boy and yourself. Everyone tells me this, and while it's easier said than done, I suppose that's what this time is for. We're supposed to work on ourselves. Try to do things that occupy your "ME" time. Have someone watch the baby and hit the gym, take a course, dance class, art class, whatever it is that can take your mind off of being lonely and get you circulating with people again. I date, but my problem is that I'm picky because I have a son and I need to be careful who I let in, but still I can't seem to find anyone I connect with, and all my friends are getting married so that being by myself can weigh on me sometimes. But underneath it all, I believe that the right person is out there for me. And he's out there for you too. I feel that we have to stop caring whether or not the person will come along and then...they will. That's how life works. 

Name: burnsmesiter | Date: Aug 20th, 2008 1:50 AM
get help the lot of u, sad fcks!! lol 

Name: badest | Date: Aug 24th, 2008 11:09 PM
dont take him back u have your self on the right track stay the course .things will come together in time .be true to yourself and your son fore u do have some one u and your son have each other 

Name: nice20008 | Date: Aug 26th, 2008 3:25 AM
No. Actually you can totally join the great single parent community www.soloparentdate.com**** chatting with other single parents near by ,sharing your passion with others who feel lonely. It's really a great dating site for single parents! 

Name: youngzhang1982 | Date: Aug 27th, 2008 12:34 AM
thanks for the message, i think you catch my attention is not just by your looking, i prefer the women has her natural beauty in their heart. i am an adult and i do not believe in true love, but i trust life-long marriage. so my wish is my future wife is never married before, if they have children, that is fine, we can raise them up together with my own children. oh, my hobby is walking, reading and enjoy the good food. actually, my plan is after my marriage, i will give my wife 50% my salary, if we have children. i will give her another 10%, i need keep 40% my salary is enough, maybe 20% to support my mum and dad later, i think i just belong to the middle class, one house and one boat, two or three car, own my own land and some restaurant business, i want to open my own sushi bar later in San Francisco area. anyway, life is short, i will try my best, work hard and glory the God, help more people. i think i believe in god since i am a postgraduate student in england nottingham, i need do two part time restaurant job to survive, pay my rent and pay my tuition fee, life goes the hardest way, every night when i finish my night shift job, i pass by one 700 years old church, jesus picture is just there on the window, i pray him to give me some peace in my heart, Jesus is always ready to listen and he is a great father. i think i will follow his rule whole my life, i never married and so far i have no children, but i do not want divorce, i can sign contract with my lawyer, if i divorce due to my family affair, i am willing to pay 80% my salary to my children as penalty fee, i believe i am the only few can do this in Seattle area, haha.....nice talk to you, if you want to meet, i think i have time next week, by the way, if you really want to go step further on our future relationship, i think i do not need bother to date other women, i believe i am a honest man and i am a good family man too.
best regards
young
ps: my resume
4748 19th AVE seattle, WA 98105, Tel: 206-816-5015 Email: [email protected] / Gender: Male
Education:
Ph.D in University of Washington, focus on organisation design and financial management. (January 2006- present)
Master degree in research (Mphil) in manufacturing engineering, manufacturing organization research group, Loughborough University, Leicestershire, England, UK. (Sep 2003- Dec 2005)
Dissertation topic: Building a boundaryless leagile manufacturing organization through HITOP method. Advisor: Professor Neil Burns (editor of IJPR) ( Email: [email protected] )
Master degree in Science (Msc) in Electrical engineering, University of Nottingham, Nottinghamshire, England, UK (Sep 2002-Sep 2003) Thesis topic: Extra high voltage (EHV) power transmission control in China three Gorges project using Newton Raphson method and Mathlab computer iteration method. Advisor: Dr Dave.Thomas (Email:[email protected] )
Bsc in Mechanical Engineering, Dalian University of Technology, Dalian city, China (Sep 1990-July 1994) Thesis topic: Testing a new diamond cutting tool material performance in Japanese Sanyo Company through comparing with other traditional cutting tools. Advisor: Dr Hong Tao Zhang. (Head of cutting tools research group)
Experience:
Academic Research: I: I worked as a research Assistant at Wichita state university on the subject of Industry engineering. The main focus of the research is on lean and green manufacturing system design for Boeing Company in Wichita, Kansas. Since Boeing Company set the goal to be "100% lean and green company" in 2011, I as a researcher focused on waste management and energy conservation in order to achieve the goal. After years of experiment on a small motor workshop provided by private companies, we have achieved to reduce the waste and contamination by 35 percents. The quality of the motor increased by 25 percents by detail cleaning and better combustion technology.II: When I was completing my master in electrical engineering at University of Nottingham, I worked at fire-power station in England Nottingham city. I worked on power transfer through super-computer. The use of C++ and Java was needed and the station was responsible for providing power for more than three million people in the surrounding cities called East-Middle land area including Birmingham city, Nottingham city and south Manchester city.
Working experience:
1: Electrical engineer: Seattle Trident seafood company, help solving the seafood manufacturing line mechanical and electrical problem.01/2008-Present.
2: Manufacturing supervisor: Japan Mabuchi motor company in Hong Kong china, in charge of one plastic injection molding workshop following ISO 9002/ 14001 standard. (Sep 1994-Nov 2001) This company has worldwide reputation on mini DC motor products and its customers include Sony, Toshiba, Sanyo, Sharp and HP, Ford companies, through Japanese Just-in-time management, my workshop quality has been improved from 67 percent to 95 percent, on October 1999, my workshop quality reaches to 100 percent , because of this distinguish quality improvement, I won Tokyo silver medal for Quality improvement.Language: Fluent in English and Chinese. A little bit Japanese and Spanish and France language.
you can find my photo at www.hi5.com, user name is [email protected], password is 12345. thanks 

Name: guest | Date: Sep 15th, 2008 10:15 AM
what colour panty you wearing sexy 

Name: guest | Date: Sep 15th, 2008 10:17 AM
man i love kids ditch that slob guy he a jerk i be you online boyfriend 

Name: Shankar PONCELET | Date: Sep 24th, 2008 4:18 PM
There is a way out of all your problems. You have to be able to work from home and generate a decent income. I think some of you have never thought about that possibility. Well, then check out my webpage http://www.you-can-do.eu . I can show many single moms that now lead a life in wealth. Just checking out does no harm, so I'll all see you on my page! 

Name: Ang | Date: Oct 5th, 2008 12:25 AM
Find something for YOU! Take up bowling, golf, pool, writting, readingYou don't need a man to complete you. There are lots of good men out there that will love you and your son. FDon't put yourself into a situation that you can't get out of! I'm 35 and have been raising my 2 kids for 7 years alone (they are currently 11 & 8) I get lonely ALOT, but I have friends and I throw myself into raising my kids and finding "me" things!!! GOOD LUCK!! STAY STRONG!! 

Name: Tony | Date: Oct 19th, 2008 6:42 AM
Don"t t go back to him unless he stop drinking.pray to God...

Name: steve-o | Date: Oct 24th, 2008 5:14 PM
im a guy that would be interested i love childern and i can comfort you ;) 

Name: hello | Date: Oct 26th, 2008 2:53 AM
I'm a 50year old single mum and very lonely. I love my son more than anything in the world. I lost most of my friends when i had my son because i made the decision to stop drinking and going out and none of them respect me for that, they just left me stranded. The father of my son messed me around so much that i don't think someone could ever hurt me like that again but yet i'm getting ready to ask him to come back just to have someone in my life and will put up with his drinking and verbal abuse. Are there men out thier who date and take interest in single moms and will i ever have friends again who can respect and understand my ways to make my sons life the best. Does this feeling ever end, crying myself to sleep every night is my only option at the momen 

Name: Christina | Date: Oct 28th, 2008 3:04 AM
Stop thinking about yourself in terms of being alone. You are not alone. You have a wonderful child that is depening on you to make the right decisions for the both of you. Asking an abusive alcoholic, back into both of your lives is not the right decision and I think you know that.

Surround yourself with good friends and family- ones that will respect your situation and not depend on you to be a "party friend"- these are a dime a dozen people who don't really care about you. Go to the local gym, or communitiy club. Try online dating- there are pleanlty of men out there. Don't waste your time looking to the past- look ahead to your future and realize you are incontrol of YOUR actions. Don't let your situation determine or change who you are- fight because the people you look for are there, maybe you are just looking in the wrong place and for the wrong reasons.

(ps i'm a single mom too fighting this battle everyday and winning) 

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