I need advice, I need help, i just need a friend. but let me warn you first, its a very long, shocking story.
I became pregnant with my second child nearly 3years ago, I'd fancied her father for years beforehand so when we finally got together I felt like all the pieces of my life were finally falling into place. He would be a perfect father figure to my other child and I was in love. He was everything to me, definitely my Mr Right, but the saying LOVE IS BLIND has never been so right. I didnt realise that during my pregnancy he started to get very controlling, I just thought that was because he loved me too, that he just wanted me all to himself. I didnt realise that was how it would end up, because after giving birth everything seemed ideal. We looked like the perfect family, and I thought we were too. But when the baby was 15weeks old, her father brought her to me from the other room where he showed me blood in her mouth, my immediate reaction was a dash to hospital, where she was examined by the doctor. He asked me to remove my babys clothes, which I did, no question. It was then that a bruise, 7cm in length was discovered on her arm, along with bruises on her neck. I thought that the marks on her neck were a rash as they didnt look like a normal bruise, i since found out that they are better known as grip marks. The blood in her mouth was from a non accidental injury. I had no idea what was going on at this point, and was soon informed the police were on their way. Me and my BF were arrested and my beautiful children placed into care. I fought for my innocence for months as well as fighting for my BF too. I had known him years, he wouldnt hurt our baby surely. So i defended him. In the many months that passed he managed to alienate me from all of my family and friends, so that the only person i was around was him. When you have nobody then you cling to what you have, and he was all I had. I was told by social workers that he was one who had caused these injuries but i just couldnt belive it. I genuinely believed that he couldnt and wouldnt do something like that. Eventually, i was told if i ended my relationship then my children would be returned to me. No matter how much I loved him, I loved them infinitely more. Finally at the trial, where all reasons and explanations and causes for the injuries would be uncovered, my ex-BF stood up with his solicitor and admitted to hurting my baby. I was in pieces. I loved a man that could hurt a baby! I was glad the relationship was over but I felt sick knowing that I had defended him, and pushed everyone else away. Luckily as my relationship with him was over the children have since been returned to me. But I just cant get over the fact i let this man into my life. to make matters worse, before the court ordered our separation, he had started seeing another woman, who he is still with now.
And what punishment did he recieve.........NOTHING! o he has to be supervised when he sees his child, He is happily living the life of riley with his new GF, having a great time as if he hasnt done anything wrong while i am now finding it extremely hard work, as a new single mum. and here's the icing on the cake....He will be allowed to see her unsupervised within the next few months. and i probably wont be able to do a thing about it, because apparently he is not considered 'a risk'.
I dont know what to do, this whole situation is eating away at me, and I just dont know where to turn, because although my family and friends have welcomed me back with open arms, things that were said, can never be taken back. I feel very lonely and very scared that I will be alone and carrying this round with me for the rest of my life. I also want to warn other people that just because you have known someone for a long long time, doesnt mean that you actually know them (he was also a pathological liar)
If anyone has any advice for me, i am willing to try anything. Please help me if you can ↓
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| Name: Isabelle | Date: Jul 14th, 2011 8:02 AM |
| Always move on forward with your kids and forget about the past or it will eat your soul away, don't remember the negative, stay focused on the positive, on your kids, this man is not worth your love or the love of your kids, don't let what happened ruin you ↑ |
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