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Hi, I'm a single mother raising children by myself. Their father has been locked up for about 2 years now. Its really hard and stressful sometimes taking care of 4 children by myself. Are there any young mothers going through the same or similar problems. How do you handle the stress? Do you think it is okay to have another boyfriend while your man is away? HOLLA BACK!!!!!! ↓
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| Name: tamika | Date: Jan 15th, 2006 3:06 AM |
| I understand what you are going through! I have three kids and their father got locked up about 4 months ago. I'm not sure when he is getting out but it has been hard on me taking care of two kids and a newborn baby by myself. I have been going to school and trying to work and pay for childcare for the kids. That is also very expensive. ↑ |
| Name: Angie | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 2:37 AM |
Hey Nikki,
Im a single mother of a 1 son his fathers been locked up for 4 yrs now and my son will be a man by the time he comes out. Its not easy and I know it stressful but just remember everything you do is for your kids on those days when you feel like you can do it anymore or fed up look at you children and know your blessed. As for holdin you man down while his locked is up to you? ↑ |
| Name: Paulette | Date: Jan 28th, 2006 6:44 AM |
I have four children and my baby father has been in jail for a year my children range in age from 2-8 so hell ya its hard. But when I look into their faces and realize I am the only one they have,its not a choice I have to keep pressing on. As far as boyfriends go I do not need one. What I need is a MAN
As for all you women a man is not going to take away your stress or you pain. Do for you and your children! Do we ever stop to think how we get into this mess? ↑ |
| Name: liz | Date: Feb 16th, 2006 3:06 PM |
i ave a child wit a father in jail its ok 2 feel stressed but if u want a new guy i tink its rite 2 break up wit ur guy but stil let him c ur kids
gd luck in da future
xxxx ↑ |
| Name: april | Date: Feb 19th, 2006 8:46 PM |
| hey i was just going to say that my fiance is currently in jail and it just so happens we concived the day he got taken away so to say im due in june so i dont know exactally when he will be out but it will be around the end of summer hopfully but if you have ne ?'s feel free to ask im 19 on march 9th btw sooo bye ↑ |
| Name: preggy with #2!!! | Date: Feb 22nd, 2006 2:36 PM |
| my cousin is in your boat but her man has been there came out been there and out and now back again she has a 2 year old and she has found some one her son hasn't even been around his daddy met him either I don't know haven't been thru all of her buisness but she has a great guy sticking by her and she also has twins now and the kid has someone to look up to as daddy! I think it is ok because she is young 20 one year older than me! ↑ |
| Name: justine | Date: Feb 24th, 2006 5:11 PM |
| im 16 and my babies dad lied to me about his age and he is married and has a little girl and a little boy from different girls and now im pressing charges so he will be spending his time in jail for all those times he lied not only to me but to other young girls that he did lie to or was going to oh and he told me he was 17 but hes really 25 ↑ |
| Name: Susan | Date: Feb 26th, 2006 7:28 PM |
| I lived through the nightmare of my children's father going to jail.We lost our home ,we had to go on welfare because I had not worked since I was 28 and I'm 47 now. I am in school and guess what? He is now out. I resent him because he comes back into our lives but plays Santa Clause to his 2 children on Sundays.All the pressure on me while he was away was less then it is now because he is constantly trying to buy his kids but, only wants to see them on a limited basis.He also spends a good deal of his time underminding my authority . I think it was easier for me when he was away quite frankly and I truly beleive it is a matter of time where he will start to repeat the old patterns that put him in jail in the first place.The most important thing it to take care of yourself ,go to school if you are not in a position to find a good paying job and find a man because,these men usually turn out to be repeat offenders. ↑ |
| Name: nikki | Date: Feb 27th, 2006 5:03 AM |
I have 4 children by this guy and he got locked up two years ago. I really miss him but I also feel a need to move on with my life. He has been in and out of jail for the last 10 years of our relationship and I am sick and tired of him going back and forth to jail.
This time he is in jail for something really serious and I am not sure when he will get out. Part of me wants to stand by my man and the other part is telling me to just leave him alone.
Does anyone have any comments on what i should do? ↑ |
| Name: nikki | Date: Feb 27th, 2006 5:09 AM |
Hi, Susan
I am in the same boat as you were in. The father of my children is still locked up and has been for two years.
He gets out and does well for a year maybe two, then he starts doing the same things that keeps putting him in jail.
What do you think, I am a young mom who wants to keep my family together but sometimes I think I can do so much better than that loser I'm waiting on to get out of jail? ↑ |
| Name: krystle | Date: Mar 10th, 2006 6:22 PM |
| if i we re you i am a kid speaking my dad isnt arojnd but not in jail but for the kids sake i wouldnt have a boyfriend y ou think you have stress now when my mom started dating a guy it was horrible for me so i hated it it just causes more arguments so i would just be careful ↑ |
| Name: hi nikki | Date: Mar 13th, 2006 4:02 PM |
My boyfriend just got locked up and my baby is due in two months! I am so scared i dont want to have a baby by myself.
This is going to be my first child. I cant believe he got locked up. ↑ |
| Name: Jennie | Date: Mar 15th, 2006 2:31 PM |
| My son is 10 and his father has been in and out of jail for his whole life. Patrick, my sons father, and I have not been together since before our son was born. My son is starting to realize that his dad hasn't always been there for him and it is taking an emotional toll on him. My fiance is very supportive of my son and is a constant that my son can count on. I do think it's okay to date other people besides the father of your children, especially if the dad has made mistakes that lands him in jail time and time again. My sons father just got out again and my son doesn't even want to see him. Life gets stressful when your a single parent with children, I have done it for the 9 years before I got engaged. When I would get stressed out, I would take my son to the park, let him run around and burn his energy off. I am currently in school for nursing and my son is starting to realize that the only way to succeed in life is to continue your education. I feel your pain, but your not alone! ↑ |
| Name: ashlynn | Date: Apr 6th, 2006 6:41 PM |
| My man is in jail too, many of his friends say its okay but I dont think it is they only have us on the outside we are what keeps them going and yeah we may be the back bone and raising kids but deep down whatever he did wrong he is regreting 110% cause this is 2 years of his kids lifes he is messing! ↑ |
| Name: Avvi | Date: Apr 6th, 2006 9:16 PM |
| Hello ladies im 15 and 9 days overdue with my first baby, a day before my due date my boyfriend got sent to prison, i hope it will do him some good and teach him a lesson, besides i dont want my baby to grow up with a criminal for a father, i mean what good father knows that he is on his very last warning and that he has a baby on the way and goes drink driving in a stolen car on a driving ban with no licence mot tax or insurance, i hope he has changed when he comes out. ↑ |
| Name: Just sayin............... | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 11:46 PM |
| If your mans in jail then hes not right for you or your kids anyway,hes a convicted criminal.Most people try to keep their kids away from those types.The best thing for you to do is move and sever all contact with the inmate and start fresh with you and your children and build a better life and meet new people who are good and descent. ↑ |
| Name: inupiaq_ice_princess | Date: Oct 7th, 2007 9:51 AM |
| i feel the same my man is in jail but i don't know how long and im a felon so i can't even bring his daughter in to see him i hoping for the best but only time will tell ↑ |
| Name: houston713 | Date: Oct 10th, 2010 2:05 PM |
| Hello nikki, well I have two boys 4 and 8 and both fathers are in jail, one serving a life sentence, and the other one 3 years, I've been withmy ex the one serving 3 years for the past 6 years and I love him I really do, he even asked me to marry him while he in TDC which I was about to, but then I was thinking what about if he dont chnage his bad habbits when he gets out? so I said no, that I would wait til he gets out cause the last time I went to visit him, he was all full of tattoos, and I mean everywhere, neck, head, both arms and legs, so I was like what the hell, he supposely wanna change and he all tatted up gang related so what future can he give me and my kids? so I decided to start dating other guys, having friends and go on with my life, I guess when my ex gets out , we will see what happens, but for now Nikki I ↑ |
| Name: houston713 | Date: Oct 10th, 2010 2:09 PM |
| for now NIKI, I truly belive you need to do your own thing, and I dont think is bad if you are dating other guys, cause what about if it was the opposite and you were in jail, and he out in the free world, now come one serious. do you think guys can really handle being single for 3 years??????????? as for my ex, helll nahhh.. not even a month.. so think about it.. life is too short... you gotta live your life to the fullest sweetie. ↑ |
| Name: CANDACE | Date: Oct 12th, 2010 12:25 AM |
| YOU WILL BE JUST FINE. I'M A SINGLE MOM WHO JUST CAME HOME FROM PRISON AND I'M SLOWLY GETTING MYSELF BACK TOGETHER. MY SON'S FATHERS ARE CLOWNS AND MY BEST FRIEND IS LOCKED UP AND HAS BEEN SINCE 1993 AND HE STEPPED TO THE PLATE TO ADOPT MY YOUNGEST SON BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAS STARTED A NEW LIFE WITH HIS NEW LITTLE FAMILY AND DOESN'T WANT MY BABY TO RUIN ANYTHING. JUST KNOW THAT BABIES ARE GIFTS FROM GOD AND NOT EVERYONE IS BLESSED WITH THESE SPECIAL GIFTS. AS FAR AS HAVING SOMEONE SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE. JUST MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO HIDDEN SECRETS AND BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT BRINGING ANYONE AROUND YOUR KIDS. KEEP THINGS HONEST WITH BOTH MEN. ALWAYS MAKE YOU HAPPY, BECAUSE YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE AND IT TRULY BELONGS TO YOU. DON'T LIVE IT WITH REGRETS OR COULDA ,WOULDA , SHOULDA'S. GOOD LUCK ↑ |
| Name: terri | Date: Oct 20th, 2010 1:58 AM |
| im also a single mother raising children while their father is away and i was kinda looking for advice myself ....i think u might have more tips than me seeing as u have four children where as i only have 2 and because your man has been locked up 4 about a year more than mine. but what im asking is.....do u ever feel like u r drowning??????with all the extra responsibility u have had to take on with him gone...?as for dating someone else i wouldnt know cuz i have no time to breath lettle own date!but if u can find the time i say go for it ↑ |
| Name: Chastity | Date: Feb 1st, 2011 11:47 PM |
Hey Nikki,
My husband has been in prison for four years and we have two children together. I can't tell you the amount of times I have cried because it just seems like it never ends and the stress is almost unbearable at times. I have family who tries to be there for me but, unless you have been there. There is just no way to make them understand how hard it really is. ↑ |
| Name: cassie | Date: May 21st, 2011 1:57 AM |
| hi, i am going through the same kind of situation. my fiancee has been locked up since october and still has to serve 2 yrs. so i know what kind of stressful time you are going through. everyday i pray to god that he helps me through it and return My Fiancee to me safe. Also we have a four year old daughter together not to mention his other children ↑ |
| Name: jodie | Date: May 26th, 2011 9:58 PM |
| I feel your pain I am going through something similar to oyur situation my childs father currently got sentencted for 20 years he didnt even kill anyone, his case is still on appeal but the only problem is he isn't a american citizen so most likely he will be deported back to Jamaica, I am still trying to be there for him but am also trying to move on with my life it is hard because i love him and he love me. We have a three year old daughter together , i feel your pain but only difference is that you have three kids i have one so i know it is harder for you. He was a good guy took good care of our child, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. but nickie keep your head up be strong keep taking care of your kids. ↑ |
| Name: Baby Jaiden | Date: Jun 15th, 2011 7:21 PM |
| Hi, im a single teen mother rasing a one month old baby. His father barely got locked up last thursday but hes been in and out of jail through out my pregnancy. i thought by this time he would have learned his lesson but i guess not. i recently found out that he has been cheating on me since i was pregnant and i also found out he gave me chlamydia. To make it all worse before i found out he was cheatin on me i was deppressed all the time and now im ore depressed then before. Im tryin to get over it but its hard. The wound is still in the process of healing. I need some advive to get through this. ↑ |
| Name: B | Date: Mar 15th, 2012 6:10 AM |
| I'm going thru something simular. my boyfriend went to jail a week before our daughter was born and wont have trial for a few months. i had our daughter alone pretty much and having to care for her alone has been hard. I deal with the stress by taking five min to myself and thinking of all the good times and it helps. I would never consider getting a new man just because mine is away, yeah its loney and hard and down right depressing but i take it one day at a time, the letters and phone calls help a little also. ↑ |
| Name: starnrob | Date: Apr 12th, 2012 2:50 AM |
| Name: TARYN | Date: May 30th, 2012 2:16 PM |
| I KNOW HOW U FEEL COZ IM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING MY BF GOT LOCKED UP IN 2010 I HAVENT BEEN WITH A MAN EVER SINCE.I FEEL Y SHOULD I GET ANOTHER MAN WHEN BF AINT DO NUTHING ↑ |
| Name: Petra | Date: Jun 5th, 2012 3:36 PM |
Oh my gosh, there is so many of you that goes trough this, I am o sorry. If you guys need any legal services or advice please email me I might be able to help since I work under a company who help individuals with legal services.
[email protected] ↑ |
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