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Name: ann010190
[ Original Post ]
I met someone on an online dating site the beginning of the year. He told me that he had a vasectomy. He lives about 500 miles away. Last month I found out I am having his baby.. At first he was excited but last week he told me that he is actually married and that I should have "Taken care of the problem" Now I am alone and pregnant and will be raising this baby alone. I didn't think I would start to look pregnant so fast and my midwife said I should take a class to help get through labor. A couple of people suggested open adoption and I am not sure I could do that. I did find out where the baby's father is and am thinking of suing for child support. Can't believe he told me he had a vasectomy. So not sure what the next four months will bring.
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Name: AFM | Date: Jan 24th, 2014 3:36 AM
Don't think about suing for child support, JUST DO IT! Its for your child and he shouldn't have been sleeping with you if he is married. The fact that her refers to this innocent child that you are carrying as a "problem" is sick. Don't be afraid of raising your child alone. There is support out here, and I know it sounds corny, but if there is a will there is a way! Once you meet your child for the first time you will feel like you are able to move mountains, well at least that's how I feel. I'm single, 2 months into this, left everything to move to another state to raise my child. Although I don't have much, I have peace of mind and love for my child, not to mention a child support court order headed the fathers way, and a bunch of job applications in my hand. If you believe in yourself then you can do it. Not sure about your beliefs, but I am also learning to lean on God, so I don't feel alone. It's scary, but worth it. My son just started laughing...I wouldn't trade this for the world. 

Name: SH | Date: Jan 31st, 2014 5:41 AM
Take a class definitely.

It is not your fault he was dishonest. If you sue, be prepared. He may want visitation rights. When paternity is determined he has rights to your child and even of he doesn't want to be a real father he may exercise his rights just to spite you taking his paycheck.

Also take into consideration how much of a liar this guy is, an how he can turn his back on his wife. That's actually abuse, no offense to you but he could transmit disease to here for being sexually promiscuous. You are probably not the only mistress. Truly think about cutting all ties or not.

Also, do more research. Maybe he lied about Being married. Maybe not. Find out everything you can about him.

He some counseling, for emotional support. Join a mommy group, you can find them in your area on meetup and that's a great support.

I'm currently a single mom, though technically married. My husband is a cheater and physical abuser. I don't regret my child but I do regret getting married to him, after all the lies and he is a danger to me and my son. The courts are adamant about 'fathers rights' so I feel like I can't protect my kid.

I hope this helped...and I think you can find a really decent guy in the future that will be there for you and your child. Don't give up or lose hope, for every dirtbag there is an awesome person out there so be cautious and take care of yourself and that baby. 

Name: John | Date: Feb 13th, 2014 5:10 AM
I'm here if anyone what's to talk 

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