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Name: mar
[ Original Post ]
pls help.. i was rape..now im pregnant! I wana do d abortion but my parents dont want me to. So im not taking good care of myself and hoping il have miscarry. but HOW? pls help.
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Name: tabatha | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 4:20 PM
DONT KILL THAT BABY, THEIR ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE THAT WANTS TO ADOPT A BABY IF YOU DONT WANT IT GIVE IT UP FOR AN ADOTION, MY AUNT WAS RAPED AND GOT PREG. BUT SHE KEEPED HER BABY, ITS YOUR BABY NO MATTER WHAT 

Name: Jackie | Date: Nov 20th, 2005 4:28 PM
Mar .... How far along are you in your pregnancy ?
How old are you ?
There are options out there ..... alot of couples are looking to adopt a baby - and - if you decide to parent this baby, there is alot of help that would be available to you.
If you want to talk - call me toll-free 1.888.759.5188

Jackie
www.momdad2bee.com 

Name: mar | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 6:01 AM
for Tabatha & Jackie, me neither dont wanna murder this baby, but i was rape by 2persons (dirty bastard!!). it hurts wenevr i recall wat happend...it hurts! But i have a career, im studying, and i will b kick out from school once they know im pregnant, single, 20yrs old! I dont want them to fel pity for me by telling i was rape! its embarasing. Please understand my situation. Thank you!! 

Name: Jackie | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 1:36 PM
Mar ... I am so sorry that this happened to you. I would suggest seeking professional counseling, if you havent already. This will help you understand that this is NOT your fault!
As far as the pregnancy - only you know what is best. I personally do not belive in abortions, but in a situation such as yours .... if you feel it is the only way for you to put this bad situation in the past and start to re-build your life, then that is what you need to do. Of course, depending on how far along you are. Please think long and hard about your decision - what is best for you and the unborn baby ..... my offer still stands - if you need someone to talk to or somesone to listen ..CALL ME!

Take care of yourself!
Jackie 

Name: Sandy | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 3:50 PM
I have a boyfriend we have been going out for 4 months and now I am pregnant.. His mom is happy he is confused I guess and my mom stated that I was crazy.. I am 32 with a 6yr girl.So far my relationship with him is fine but I am confused... 

Name: Sandy | Date: Nov 21st, 2005 4:02 PM
Look i am not in favor of abortions but you are young and this was not in your plans maybe if you were in love I would tell you to assume the consequences but I thimk you should do what id best for you But do remember that baby alreadt has a heart beat... 


Name: rachel | Date: Nov 26th, 2005 4:23 PM
I cant help you miscarry but you should talk to your parents about why they dont want you to do that and tell them what is best for you.... did you consider adoption? how far along are you? did you report the rape? take careof yourself... if you are having a baby wouldnt you rather it be healthy? Just try to remember that baby is also a part of you and at no fault for how it was concieved. 

Name: nonameneeded | Date: Nov 29th, 2005 2:44 PM
rape is NOT your fault, this baby is NOT your burden by choice - remember, that somebody took advantage of you - that baby will understand if it's own mother chooses to abort it because you are unable to care for it as you would if the baby was conceived with a partner of your choice. Adoption is always an option too - and i'm sure somebody out there will give this baby a loving and caring home - your nightmare could become a blessing for somebody who is unable to convieve. You may even find yourself that once you have given birth to it - you love it for the individual it will be, and not by the crappy decision it's father made when he chose to hurt you - remember, that it NOT the baby's fault either - you are both the victims! You may find you can help each other through the hard times? good luck whatever happens. x 

Name: Gina | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 8:27 PM
I happened to be in the same situation as you last year, pregnant from a rape. I was upset at what had happened, and that I had gotten pregnant. When I first found out, I diregarded my dislike of abortion and thought that it may be the best course of action... Because the pregnancy "wasn't my fault". I thought I could forgive myself for the abortion because of the pain I had gone through. But I came to the realization that the baby that I had growing inside was not the one to blame or punish for something someone else had done to me. Why abort a child when there are so many loving families out there who want a child so badly? You could be the one to give them the gift of a family. Turn your bad memory into something good. I am so glad that I dismissed my ideas of abortion. I know that I could never have forgiven myself for killing an innocent baby. Now, I actually looked into adoption for my unborn baby, but let me tell you when she was born; I looked into her eyes and all I could see was love. It did not matter anymore that she was a product of a rape. She is now 10 months and my love for her has only grown and grown. I know you are worried about your age and school, but you can give your baby the gift of life with a loving family and continue your education as well. I am only 22 and I am now a single mother and a college student as well. You can make it work, it won't be easy but It seems as though you have the support of your parents. I hope you decide against abortion, because whether you choose to keep your baby or to give your baby to a loving family, you will be a better happier person knowing you made the best choice for you and your child. 

Name: Mrmom_Kenny | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 9:12 PM
Please Mar understand that you not taking care of yourself can do more harm to yourself, and it's not fair to the unborn child. remember that their women that can't have children and putting the child up for adoption may be the best deal unless you have very understanding parents and are willing to help you with the child and not try and take custody from you. you may even find a family that is willing to let you be part of the childs life, if that is something you want. This may sound like back stabbing, but I'm working on adopting my 2 cousins from their mother who is in jail right now for shoplifting and got on crack about 3 months ago and stopped spend time with them. so think really hard about what you feel will be right for yourself and the baby. 

Name: Been There | Date: Dec 8th, 2005 4:54 AM
Mar,
Hey i was raped at 15 and pregnant, by the grace of God i miscarried, but was also told later that because i did whatever it took to miscarry that it may have caused me not to be able to get pregnant. I am 27 years old and finally got pregnant. Its hard to live with yourself knowing you destroyed alife that was given to you. I didn't know what to do if i would have had that baby, but at the same time there's a purpose for everything.

As far as school goes you may want to check into the laws on that because the laws protect pregnant women now when it comes to education. Rather its a private, religious or public school. So you may want to check into that, cause if they kick you out, pending on your state laws that is a law suite waiting to happen. They may ask you near the end to take a semster off to tend to your baby but they can't force you to.

Like someone stated earlier you can cause more damage to your body then the baby and if you do manage to cause your self to miscarry you have to prepare yourself to possibly not ever having kids.

Adoption is the best way to go if you don't want the baby. 

Name: Sandra | Date: Dec 8th, 2005 4:33 PM
Just remeber that, that baby has your blood runing throught him or her too. I know right now you probaly feel like you dont want the baby but just wait till you have it you will learn to love it and you will get attached to it because it was inside you for nine months ( just think about what your doing real good) 

Name: emj | Date: Dec 11th, 2005 3:51 PM
POOR YOU IM SO SO SO SORRY.
your parents dont no what you went through geting that baby.
DONT KILL IT PLEASE!
ITS NOT YOUR PARENTS CHOICE IT YOURS.
put it up for adoption or wait a bit more you might learn to love it.
its NOT the childs faulght you were raped.
it just the bastard of a fathers
wanna chat my email is [email protected]
from emily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Name: ria | Date: Dec 13th, 2005 2:36 PM
i was raped at the age of 14 and av ad me baby its a girl but i cant bare 2 luk at er she reminds me of him wot do i do plz elp i wana kill my baby 

Name: Grow up | Date: Dec 13th, 2005 2:40 PM
Get a life - you are posted all over the boards with a different story ....... grow up! 

Name: Tanya | Date: Dec 22nd, 2005 8:31 PM
Read the book by Francine Rivers, I cannot remember the exact name, something about a child. It's a also a story about a girl who was raped and her struggles with deciding to or not to abort the baby. 

Name: kim | Date: Dec 29th, 2005 6:25 PM
how old are you if you dont want it and you decide to give it up call me collect 931-729-1611 but please dont abort it 

Name: mandy | Date: Dec 29th, 2005 7:58 PM
This is Mar's desicion and if she fels that an abortion is what she wants then she has that right. I am not an abortion supporter, however I do beleive that in a circumstance like rape, a woman should be able to do whats best for her and her emotional well being. I think so many of you woman who want to adopt are looking at your needs and not those of the expecting mother. Either way she is going to have bad emotional scars but it s up to her to choose which way will be easiest on her in the long run. You people just want to adopt a baby. We cant tell her what she should or shouldnt do because of out moral beliefs. Mar I really hope you came to a desicion that is best for you and I am sorry that you had to go through this. I wish you all the best in whatever it is you decided to do. 

Name: to RIa | Date: Dec 29th, 2005 7:59 PM
Now this is a sick person. You want to kill you baby????? Get some help you are very disturbed. I fear for your poor baby girl. I hope she is removed from your hime soon. 

Name: Kim | Date: Jan 1st, 2006 4:00 PM
Mar,
Please feel free to email me at [email protected] I feel like you need someone to talk to. Once you email me I will give you my phone number and you can call me collect. Does your school have online classes that you can take instead of going on campus. I know you feel like you can't to much but please feel free to email me. I know what you are going through. 

Name: Krisy | Date: Jan 2nd, 2006 8:43 AM
I was a virgin until just about eight months ago. This so called friend of mine took one of the most important pieces of my life away on that very day. He said he just wanted to kicked and have fun..like me so careless and I never once thought that going to visit would end my life forever...He took my virginity and because I didn't cry at the moment he said that I liked what he was doing..It hurted me so bad..I think tha I was in shocked I kept telling him no and that he was hurting me..but that only made things worse..I never told anyone because I was so scared and I didn't want my family and friends to think different of me...So till this day they dont know what happen to me..This is my first time telling my story to anyone..It's been held up in me for so long I feel like I'm about to explode inside...I dont know what to do but I hope that by me writing about this now will make things a little bit better...I don't like to get close to men..Sometimes I think that all a man wants me for is for sex..what do I do? 

Name: JANNA | Date: Jan 11th, 2006 12:39 PM
I DONT THINK ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, ITS YOUR BODY AND IF YOU HAD THE BABY THE BAD MEMORIES WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, YES ITS A LIFE BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT IT, ITS NOT WHAT YOUR PARENTS OR ANYONE ELES SAYS ITS YOUR DECICION AND YOU HAVE TO DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU. DONT GET PUSHED INTO THINGS YOU DONT WANT TO. 

Name: nina | Date: Jan 11th, 2006 9:05 PM
dnt do it dats a baby its heart started to beat from 3 weeks old its done nuthin 2 u and u wil love dat baby more den ever wen its born dnt do it u wil regret it 

Name: felicity | Date: Jan 15th, 2006 3:32 PM
hunny.. dont do this... really think about it first.
i completely understand why you dont want to have this baby.
but this chlid, this little boy or girl, it isnt there fault..
make sure you think this over so many times it hurts..
you dont want to make the wrong desicion, coz you cant take it back.
i got pregnant at 15, to my boyfriend who used to hit me.
i broke up with him as soon as i found out i was pregnant.
i didnt want to have HIS baby, not after he hurt me so much.
but i couldnt go through with the abortion.
i had the baby, im so gald i did now, because he is my whole life. my baby boy james.
im now only just turned 17, and he will be one in feb.
it is so hard, but its worth it.. just make sure, you go through it first.
good luck with your decision. 

Name: Marilyn | Date: Jan 16th, 2006 6:29 PM
You need to seek counseling for unwanted pregnacy or adoption or for an abortion, most cities have Planned Parenthood, and they have sliding scale fees, look in your local phone book. Afterward it is important to have counseling for yourself, you can also call a women's self-help group or Rape Crisis Line and they can help connect you will all the resources you need at this most difficult time. God Bless, Marilyn 

Name: abby | Date: Jan 17th, 2006 2:30 AM
well,even though it was not your fault you were raped,you should really think if you keep this child how will you be able to cope knowing that they were conceived from the rape. do what is best for you,but you still should take care of your body even if you don't keep the baby. 

Name: samantha | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 8:41 PM
mar, the same thing happened to me several years ago. I now have a wonderful, loving beautiful little boy. I realized after I had an ultrasound when I started bleeding in the seventh week, that this was a real live person inside of me. He didn't ask to be here. I am not trying to talk you out of an abortion, but if you don't have one, it is important for you to take care of this little person. It is also important for you to take care of yourself too. How old are you? If your parents don't want you to have an abortion, are they willing to support you and a child, who is the true victim here. Having my son was the hardest and the best thing that ever happened to me. I am always making the right choices, because I want to role model, and give him the best life I can. I am lucky to have such a supportive family, but there is also a number of supports out there. The local family planning, DHS, Professional counciling. Another thing. Did you report the rape to the authorities? Are you in professional counciling, or a support group? Seek Help! It took me a long time to tell anybody about my experience, but once I did, to a councelor, it was a huge releif. You didn't do anything wrong. What kind of school are you going to, that would be willing to kick out a girl that was raped? They shouldn't if they don't want to get sued. Please don't be embarassed. I know that the only time that I've told anybody, was when it was absoutely necessary, or when I confided in my friend. Do what's best for you, but don't do yourself bodily harm, like drugs alcohol, starvation, or physical abuse to rid yourself from problems. Best of luck to you, Samantha 

Name: brittany | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 12:28 AM
well what really happend did u really get raped or di u have sex and just got preg? 

Name: Tapinga | Date: Feb 3rd, 2006 2:09 AM
I know this is really hard for you, but that baby has a lot of you in her or him, keep your child, and if you can't hadly it. pick out Adotion parents that you like, have them hang out with you. get to know them. And if you like them, they can be your childs parent, and you can vist her or him anytime you what, just sit down somewhere you can think, writer down everything you feel everything that is going on in your head. just get it all out of you, write down what happen to you, when your down writing eveything, sit and linten to your body, Do you feel like you want this child, do you love it, ect,,,
you just have to calm down and linten to yourself. you will be okey. there is help out there for single moms, and it awsome to be a mom 

Name: Shelleyk | Date: Feb 4th, 2006 4:53 AM
I was also raped when I was 18 and I ended up keeping my baby.....But I could not love him anymore and I was truely blessed with him......if you would like to chat sometime look me up.....(yahoo IM- [email protected] or [email protected])

Hugs,
Shel
ley
http://www.midstatesd.net/~sknipplin
g
 

Name: Zoe | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 7:29 AM
Pls take case me your self and keep the baby your parents can help you to raise it. And you never know you could be the mother me a superstar or maybe even a genius. I know it will be hard because you were raped but just give this new life a chance. Think about that 

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