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Name: rw
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Im a single dad with full custody of my 14 year old son he refuses to have a relationship with his mother since after 23 years of marriage she came out of the closet. the court ordered counseling in which they said he's fine. however I see more stuff each day but im not sure if its me or just the fact that I have a 14 yr old. its truly hard to crack down on him because he carries a 4.0 in school - he is a very smart child scoring a 32 on pre ACT in the 8th grade . my son is very independant even owns his own business that he manages and actually makes good money! he does his own laundry and has no problem cooking for himself he cleans as well. but the attitude is a bit much sometimes theres like no respect , I have tried not to put alot of demands on him simply because what he has physically gone thru the past 2 years with me in a divorce and his mother coming out - he doesnt disrespect other woman or even other gays just his mother! but my concern here is my relationship with him - as a freshman in highschoo he is constantly applying for scholarships its all about academics and I have people and friends that I should just be proud but in my eyes I wanna see him asa kid too!!! I feel hes missing out on vital things that every child needs or am I putting too much in it? I know kids are very different now than 30 years ago but im kinda lost - he does not yell or pout hes very calm and reserved and much like an old soul. so I dont have the problems as some would when he doesnt get his way - he simply acts as no biggie!
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Name: Amart | Date: Jan 24th, 2014 3:48 AM
Hi! I'm a single mother, just reading your post. I'm not a professional parent, actually only 2 months into the game, but I still want to comment. It sounds like your kid is just on another level of intelligence, extremely high functioning. I know this might sound crazy, but I would just accept him for who he is. Like you said, a lot of parents would LOVE for their children to be like your son. This is a great example of the whole "grass is greener on the other side". I would count it as a blessing that he is focused. It sounds like you wish he would communicate more with you though...have you tried getting exploring his interests with him? Not obviously, but just supporting him...like keeping an eye out for scholarships and when you find one suggest that he applies, since that's what he likes to do. Who know's he might be the next Bill Gates or something...you will feel good knowing you supported him rather than found faults in who he is and wishing he was who he isn't. I hope it works out for you guys though. You are in my prayers! 

Name: MLW | Date: Feb 1st, 2014 3:34 AM
I did the step-mom thing to a 13 year old that felt similar to your situation but the relationship was so new I felt lost. Now as a single mom with my own 14 year old with his own problems with his dad I might have a little bit of advise. My son would go to counseling and she would say everything was fine then he would come home and be disrespectful to his step-dad. One day I asked the counselor if I could go back with them. It has been wonderful to have her as a buffer in that discussion. Once a month I go back with him during his visit. If nothing else I think you really should take the time to explain that no matter what she has done she can't be disrespected. She may have to earn his respect again but disrespect just can't happen. 

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